Chatting with a girl you like is quite challenging if you are shy or not good at striking conversations. If you don't know how to impress a girl by chatting but are willing to learn, discover essential and romantic tips to use from this article. Dr. Sam Ayila, a marriage counselor, relationship coach, and sex therapist, offers guidance on communicating with a girl you love.
If you talk to a woman for the first time, discuss topics that interest both men and women so that both of you enjoy the conversation. You can talk about politics, sports, celebrities, music, books, movies, etc. You can ask for her number later after a mind-refreshing and heart-warming conversation. Discover what to text a girl and how to talk to girls face-to-face below.
What to talk about with a girl
Choose topics to discuss with a lady wisely. Some suit people who just met, while other are better discussed by people who have been friends for a long time. Your intentions also matter. You should only seek to know a woman deeper if you want a long-term relationship with her and not just to lead her on. Learn from the following list what to say to a girl you like online or things to discuss with her face-to-face:
- Ask about her past or present hobbies and passions.
- Talk about thrilling things or hobbies she wants to try.
- Discuss fascinating things that happened to her in the past or that day.
- Find out meals she likes or would love to try if you want to cook for her or take her out.
- Ask about her daily routine to know she likes to structure her life.
- Ask about the flowers she likes if you want to buy her some.
- Discuss inspiring books she had read.
- Ask about her role models. They can be her family, celebrities, historical figures, etc.
- Find out the type of music she likes so that you can make a collaborative playlist of your favorite songs for morning workouts, date nights, etc.
- Discuss how she likes to receive affection. It will help you love her the right way.
- Find out about restaurants she likes or would love to try if you want to take her out.
- Inquire about her dream career to know if she has career aspirations.
- Chat about countries or places she would love to visit or live in.
- If you plan to invite her for a date night, ask about her favorite TV shows or movies.
- Find out her fears and worries to understand what can make her anxious or stressed.
- Talk about what relaxes when she is stressed to understand how you can help her relax in such times.
- Find out her health issues, fitness goals, eating habits, cooking styles, and workout habits.
- Discuss how she handles conflicts, especially with family and friends, e.g., takes a break or faces the situation head-on.
- Find out the type of friends she keeps and those she would love to be part of your circle.
- If you want a long-term relationship with her, ask about her family, their religious and cultural practices and beliefs, social status, etc.
- If you have been friends for a long time, talk about her past relationships and find out if she is ready to move on and build a healthier relationship with another person.
- If you are long-term friends, discuss her religious and cultural beliefs, financial sending habits and management skills, parenting styles, etc., to compare yours to determine if you are compatible for a long-term relationship.
How to start a conversation with a girl
Build your confidence by dressing nicely and decently in case you bump into her because the first impression matters. After you have established topics women love to talk about with men and filtered them out to find out things you feel comfortable discussing with women, here are tips for starting a conversation when you see a woman you like:
- Motivate yourself with positive affirmations like "I've got this."
- Walk towards her confidently when you see her.
- Start with warm greetings.
- Speak in a lower tone and from your diaphragm.
- Maintain a moderate volume after she responds to your greetings.
- Please do not ask her any questions. Instead, introduce yourself.
- Monitor her body language to determine if she is in a talking mood.
- Check for these non-verbal signals before proceeding with the conversation:
|Signs she’s interested in talking to you
|Signs she is not interested in talking to you
|She maintains eye contact for over two seconds, blushes, winks, or looks at you severally.
|She avoids eye contact or diverts her eyes.
|She smiles at you, licks or bites her lip.
|She frowns or has a tense facial expression.
|She makes efforts to look more attractive, e.g., her hair, plays with her earrings, pulls the short skirt towards the knees, etc.
|She does not make efforts to look more attractive.
|Her body looks open (relaxed and freely moving arms or chest pushed outward)
|She folds her arms, clenches her purse, or hides her chest.
|She turns to face you (with her head, knees, or torso) and leans toward you when you talk.
|She turns away from you or begins to talk to somebody else.
|She sways her hips or flips her hair when walking past you (often moving slower).
|She quickly walks away past you with a rigid posture.
|She subtly brushes past you or accidentally touches you (women rarely touch someone they’re not interested in on purpose)
|She avoids getting close to you or stands at a distance.
- If you notice she is interested in talking to you, ask her name, then repeat it.
- Ask her to spell her name if you need clarification on its pronunciation.
- Compliment her name, e.g., Jessica; what a unique name!
- Compliment something about her that made her stand out among other ladies in the room, e.g., "I loved how you spoke on stage," "Did you get your captivating eyes from your mom or dad?" etc.
- Ask how she's doing, her day, and so on.
- Start the conversation with something interesting, e.g., "How do you find the music?" "Have you been to this church before?" "What are you reading?" "Isn't it too hot today?
- Move the conversation to anything provoking that both of you, e.g., books, business, technology.
- Avoid awkward topics like politics, parents, or exes on the few first dates or if you just meant her.
During a discussion with Dr. Sam Ayila, a marriage counselor, relationship coach, and sex therapist, he also emphasized effective ways to initiate a conversation with a girl, including:
- Observe the environment in which you saw her.
- Imagine what she is doing there.
- Observe her mode, whether she is happy, moody, or just having a quiet time there.
- You can pre-construct your rhymes before you get close to her.
- Your poise must present you with common interests with her for being there.
- Your salutations must be quickly accompanied by the best compliments she has ever heard.
- Spark up a conversation around her reason for being there (either you ask or you already could imagine). So, it's more of talking about her and nothing about you from the beginning.
- Be playful and comical and hype her in your conversation where necessary.
- Make your talks in little bits to allow her to talk, too.
- You can build your conversation around the things she says to you.
How to keep a conversation going with a girl
Suppose you worry about doing things that might unintentionally ruin a fantastic conversation with a lady; ignore those thoughts and stay positive. Once the conversation starts going steady, you must find a way to keep it going. These tips will help you hold a conversation with a woman for longer than you anticipated:
- Make intentional eye contact.
- Slowly exchange an initial glance.
- Avoid darting your eyes toward or away from her.
- Please don't stare at her for longer than 5 seconds.
- Look her in the eye, not staring at her bust or body.
- If you lock eyes, hold her gaze for 3-5 seconds, then slowly look away.
- Maintain eye contact for about 50% of the time you are talking and 75% when listening.
- Remember to blink normally.
- Offer to buy her a delicious meal or drink if she has time.
- Avoid mentioning anything that might make her uncomfortable, such as her facial scar or skin blemish.
- Crack jokes and use corny pick-up lines because women are more attracted to guys who make them laugh.
- Ask for her opinions to make her participate in the conversation, e.g., "I have been looking for a new movie. Can you suggest some?"
Dr. Sam also provided insights into practical ways for guys to initiate and maintain a positive conversation tone. These methods include:
- Appreciate the opportunity to talk with her
- Please don't show up knowing every aspect of life more than her
- Commend her for her views about the issues you talk about
- Don't be too chatty
- Make an offer if it's in a place where you can take a drink or two.
How to overcome fear
Dr. Sam provided practical strategies to overcome fear and boost confidence when conversing with a girl you love. He said:
Nervousness is often a function of complexity (especially Inferiority) or where your approach is not for genuine relationships. When you are not real, just one sincere question will unsettle you. But if you must avoid nervousness, you must:
- Be sure of what you feel and slam the consequences (it is not a crime to feel that way and express it)
- Be willing to accept any response (good or bad). You will be relaxed if you are ready for any answers.
- Avoid anxiety as you approach.
How to talk to girls online
Feel comfortable enough before talking to a girl online. After checking her posts and tags, it is easy to find a topic she would be interested in. Pay more attention to details. For example, instead of "music," talk about how she "plays the classical guitar." Below are tips for chanting with a girl online:
- Make a good impression by minding things you post online. Ladies analyze your profile and posts to figure out your personality and lifestyle before responding to your posts. Therefore, post a few things about yourself and avoid obscene pictures and other nasty things.
- Like and comment under her pictures and posts randomly so that she notices you before you slide into her inbox.
- Inbox her with a joke or funny pick-up line and ask if it is a good time for her to chat.
- If she confirms she had time to chat, introduce yourself.
- Complement some of her posts or photos. You can flirt a bit but use respectful language.
- Ask her name and complement it e.g. Jane is a beautiful name.
- Use her posts and pictures to strike conversations like her studies, dream career, songs on her playlist, places she has traveled to, her dream destination, etc.
- Send her photos of interesting places you have been to or places you love spending time. She will trust you more if your current photos prove you are not using a pseudo account.
- Keep the conversation positive. Don't complain about your day, job, family, etc., especially financial issues.
- Don't ask her for photos, especially not naked ones. It is the biggest turn-off for a mature girl.
- Notice more than her creativity, intellect, hobbies, and other things that can help you plan an exciting date for her.
- Send spontaneous but friendly morning and goodnight texts. Do not be too romantic till you meet her. She might assume you are obsessed with her.
- Do not send her many messages every time, especially if she does not respond immediately, because she will think you are clingy.
- Pay attention to how long your conversations last. If the chats last for hours, she likes you enough to want to meet you.
- Show you are serious about her by asking her out at a public place between 8 am and 4 pm to show you care about her safety and security.
Hope you have learned something about how to chat with a girl you like from this article. Practice these tips to master how to impress a girl by chatting online and when speaking with a lady face-to-face. Surround yourself with women like colleagues, sisters, schoolmates, etc., if you are not used to being around women. Once you get used to them and feel comfortable around them, it will be easier for you to approach females who are strangers to you.
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