Making people laugh is a social superpower, whether you want to be more witty and flirtatious or be seen as an amateur comedian. Check out some of these funny things to say to friends or a group of people to make them laugh.
Life is full of challenges, but you can make it enjoyable. You can do numerous things or say to a friend or partner that will make them laugh. Below are funny things to say over text or in person to kill boredom.
Funny things to say to break the silence
Breaking the silence and lightening the mood with humour can be a great way to connect with others and create a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. Funny random things to say and witty one-liners have the power to dissolve tension, spark laughter, and initiate conversations.
Funny things to say
Keeping up the vibe and the conversation going is always important, whether in a group with friends or just hugging around with your classmates.
- Patience is a virtue, but I don't want to wait.
- 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
- I'm not always hungry; sometimes, I'm sleepy, too.
- It is not that I trust you. I am just feeling lazy today.
- I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me.
- I used to have an open mind, but my brain kept falling out.
- My tallest finger loves giving people standing ovations.
- Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
- Don't you hate it when someone answers their questions? I do.
- I tried to be normal once, the worst two minutes of my life.
- I like to be an example for others. Usually a bad example, though.
- Girl, you are like dandruff because I cannot get you out of my head.
- I'm so glad we have brown cows; otherwise, there wouldn't be any chocolate milk.
- Sometimes I feel ugly. But then I look at my little brother, and I get over it.
- Girl, will you stop getting any hotter? You are killing the poor thermometer!
- You must go and see a doctor, girl! Because you have beauty all over your face!
- Sign them up for newsletters or magazines they would never read; the ruder, the better.
- Why do men like to fall in love at first sight? Because doing so saves them a lot of money.
- Create a social media profile for them with an embarrassing username and profile picture.
- You should always knock before opening a fridge, just in case there's a salad dressing inside.
- Every woman should marry an archaeologist because the older she gets, the more he'll love her.
- Hanging out with grandpa is the best. He never knows what I'm saying but always smiles anyway.
- A successful man earns more than his wife can spend. A successful woman knows where to look for such a man.
Hilarious things to say to your friends
Everyone enjoys being around amusing people who can bring positivity to their otherwise dull and lazy days. Here are some funny things to say to friends to make them laugh.
- You are the reason I smile every day. I adore your jokes more than I love you.
- Nothing is better than a friend unless it's a friend with chocolate.
- You are like the chilli flake to my pizza because you are the one who adds fun to my life.
- Hey pal, if they hurt you again, tell me; I can make their death look like an accident!
- My life would have been a boring journey had you not been there to make me laugh with your funny jokes.
- We make best friends because you love cracking jokes, and I enjoy laughing at them.
- The only obligation in this friendship is to laugh at your jokes, even if they are not good enough.
- You are the one who makes this life interesting with your stupid and funny acts.
- Hey, beautiful. Stop crying because it is over. Start smiling because that ungrateful loser is someone else problem.
- Seeing you, I learned that looks are deceptive because you look smart, but you are not.
- You are that person I would pretend not to see if we run into each other in public.
- Please remember, do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it did not peel well.
- Why should you never trust stairs? They're always up to something.
- Hear about the new restaurant called Karma. There's no menu: You get what you deserve.
- If you feel down, like the world is not listening, and you feel like crying, remember, there is someone out there struggling to pull a push to open the door.
- I always knew I had a bad sense of humour, but I love your jokes.
- The one thing that I like about you is that you never leave me alone to do stupid things.
- Don't be sad that he chose her over you; stop counting your thunderstorms, and start counting your rainbows!
- My friendship is not for sale, but we can discuss a short-term rental.
- Friendship is about supporting each other, like how I support your bad sense of humour.
Funny random things to say in a text
Being a part of a group chat entails a lot of chatting and exchanging ideas and opinions. Sending a funny quote, meme, or simply saying something funny is a great way to spice things up in your group. This keeps everyone engaged and talking.
- Faith can move mountains, but I prefer dynamite.
- I'm not lactose, but some people find me hard to tolerate.
- I wish your life is as good as it seems on your social media accounts!
- I'm in a pickle because my best friend is not around, and you're a big dill to me.
- Doughnut, forget we're hanging out later, and we should get doughnuts.
- I love you a latte. Even more than my morning cup of coffee, so you know it's serious.
- We're the best fries forever, and everyone loves fries.
- You're an average nacho friend because you guac my world.
- You're the reason I need an unlimited data plan.
- We're besties because you always order dessert with me.
- Call a pizza hut and ask for someone's phone number.
- If history repeats itself, I am going to get a dinosaur pet.
- Everything is coming to you, but you are in the wrong lane.
- I would have given you my shoulder to cry on, but it might get wet.
- Thanks for being my best friend and always going along with my worst ideas.
- Attention! Never text while driving; it's dangerous because you might spill your beer!
- Your sense of humour is just as ridiculous as mine. This is the only reason I keep you. Nobody else can understand my jokes. Okay, I still love you, mate.
- Sometimes I feel sorry for those who don't drink. Because when they wake up, that is as good as they will feel all day long.
- I can't believe how lucky you are to have me as your best friend. I'm so jealous of you, mate. Just kidding, you are kinda okay as well.
- It is amazing that when you go into a spider web, you automatically learn karate, kung fu and jujitsu!
Out-of-pocket things to say to a girl
Are you at a loss for words and planning a date with your crush or any girl in your area? Check out these funny things to talk about to liven up a conversation.
- I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
- If you were an Apple phone, then you would be called iGorgeous
- Am I cute enough, or do you need more vodkas?
- For a moment, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
- I sure hope, lady, that you know CPR, cos you are taking my breath away!
- I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
- If you were Christmas, I would be the Grinch who stole you!
- If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.
- Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten, I see.
- I must be hunting treasure because I'm digging your chest.
- You must be the prime rib if this bar is a meat market.
- There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
- Really? It's got to be illegal to look that good.
- Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie in my diary?
- Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!
- I'm like a Rubik's cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get, baby.
- You're as sweet as Skittles, and I want to taste the rainbow.
- I'm drinking vodka and soda because you are only attracted to skinny girls.
- Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
- Girl, you are so delightful, cheerful, and bright that you can make Batman rent an apartment and abandon his cave!
- Hi there, miss! How about doing some community work by sparing some space for the needy? Let's move in together!
- You must be an interior decorator because it was suddenly beautiful and perfect when you walked into the room!
Funny things to say to a guy
What words make you giggle? The best thing about humour is that it can be used almost anywhere. Here's a list of funny things to say to people anytime.
- You're so stunning that I just forgot my pickup line.
- I am trying to decide what I want more, food or you? Maybe, food on you!
- You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
- Me without you is like a nerd without braces, shoes without laces and ASentenceWithoutSpaces.
- Do you know how much penguins weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hello!
- I am not a photographer, but I can still picture you and me together in my bed.
- The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
- You are under arrest for being too cute. Your punishment is to be silent; if not followed, you will be silenced with kisses.
- There must be something wrong with my eyes; I can't take them off you.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Aisle. Aisle who? Aisle always be yours!
- I can't believe you look so good, even when you are sick.
- Knock knock. Who's there? Kiss. Kiss who? Kiss me, silly!
- People say that love is everywhere, but I must be walking in circles; what do you say?
- Well, I am an unemployed girl with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring and a degree in kissing. Do you have a job for me?
- My body starts acting funny when I see you. What sorcery is this?
- Do you know how to fish? Because you've got me hooked.
- What did the light bulb say to the switch? You know how to turn me on.
- Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
- Where are you hiding your imperfections?
- From which school did you learn to become such a good lover?
- You would have been arrested several times daily if looking good were a crime.
- What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you.
- Life without you is like a broken pencil pointless.
Funny and weird things to say
Looking for some weird things to say to your friend? Here are funny statements that can help you start or carry on a conversation.
- I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode.
- I put my phone on airplane mode, but it didn't fly. Worst purchase ever.
- You are not someone I pretend not to see in public.
- If you suddenly die, I’d immediately travel around the world to search for the seven dragon balls.
- I've decided to become a vegetarian, but the only thing I'm missing is the 'car' in 'carrots.'
- I tried to take a day off work, but my boss said laughter is the best medicine. So now I just call in sick and tell jokes over the phone.
- I bought a book on anti-gravity, but I can't seem to put it down.
- I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- Since my vacuum cleaner was only gathering dust, I decided to sell it.
- I don't have an attitude problem; you are the one having trouble with perception.
- I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?
- My parents moved a lot when I was a kid. But I always found them.
- My New Year’s resolution is to only dread one day at a time.
- Saw it, wanted it, bought it, used it once, kept it in my house for ten years, and gave it away.
- Is cardboard more board than a card or more card than board?
- A best friend is someone who clears your search history immediately after you die.
- You must be tired because you’ve been walking through my mind all day.
- Ooooh, someone call the cops because it’s got to be illegal to look that good.
- I’m almost dressing up as Pokémon to see if somebody goes looking for me.
- In my lifetime, I have read three whole books.
- I am yet to finish the third one Everyone knows that polar bears sleep with penguins.
- Instead of phone calling me, you can call my name.
- If I hit somebody with a dictionary, is it verbal or physical aggression?
- I was looking for the good side of life but concluded that life is a sphere.
- After trying to rearrange the alphabets but letters U and I never separated.
- If you dance with me, I'm sure I will step on your feet.
What can you say to confuse someone?
Confusing your friend can be a little weird but fun at the same time. Here are things you can say to confuse them.
- Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of 'listen,' it spells 'silent'?
- If ducks have eyes, and so do humans, then aren't we all ducks?
- If I lie about what I say, then is the truth a lie, or am I telling the truth whilst lie-ing?
- If I ask you to have sex with me, will your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
If you believe in your sense of humour, you should not be concerned about how to make others laugh. The above amusing things to say will help you make someone laugh or draw their attention.
Legit.ng recently published an article containing good man quotes to send to your male role model. Finding a good man to look up to is difficult but possible. A good man is responsible, honest, and considerate of others.
A great man in society deserves to be honoured and admired by those who look up to him. Sending him quotes to tell him he is your role model is one way to honour him.