Mother Cries Out Online as Daughter Makes Unexpected Decision: "Girl I Gave Birth to In 2017"
12 min read
- A woman explained that her young daughter did something unexpected after she got upset, and it made many people online react
- She posted a short story and a screenshot that showed a small part of their conversation, which made people share their own experiences
- Many users rushed to the comments to give the mum advice and talk about how children act when they feel hurt or misunderstood
A woman has gone viral after her 8-year-old daughter deleted her number from her phone for shouting at her.
The woman shared the conversation she had with her daughter online, and many individuals are reacting to it while also sharing their personal experiences and advice.
Source: Twitter
Woman shares chat with her daughter
The woman mentioned in the post that she gave birth to the little girl in 2017, and now the child deleted her number simply because she shouted at her. All this is contained in a post she made available online.
According to a post she shared on her page, @rodah_, via the popular social media platform X, formerly Twitter, she said she needs to take parenting classes again as a result of what her daughter did, which she didn’t expect.
Initially, she posted a story on her page about what her daughter did and then went ahead to share a screenshot of their chat.
The initial story she shared read:
"The girl I gave birth to in 2017 has deleted my number today because I shouted at her. I need to retake gentle parenting classes again. Yooooh!"
Source: Twitter
Moments after she shared it, she quoted the post and added a screenshot to prove that her statement was true.
Sharing the screenshot, she captioned it:
"Deleting my number at 8 yrs?? Ei, but I will do better."
The post immediately caught the attention of social media users, who stormed the comment section to share their thoughts.
Reactions as woman shares chat with daughter
@Ole_Chebeo write:
"The problem of single parenthood. If the father was there, I am sure things would be different."
@Papa_Ibeji noted:
"Scenes that will never been seen under my leadership. Will be flying them to Kenya for a whopping when needed just to evade the stupid European laws."
@joy_tich stressed:
"I apologized yesterday to my daughter for always getting home late when I travel like I should keep time or altogether don't tell her nakuja lini. She is teaching me good manners at her age."
@TheHypeReels noted:
"Take away her phone and ground her for a month or more and let her learn her lessons. Send her a message, a strong message to remind her you are not her equal. Gentle parenting don't pay I swear."
Dexter Carrel
@carrelodhiambo7 shared:
"WTH?!!!! Bruh.. if my son tries this, he’ll be hearing from his ancestors in person."
@Kushmapesa said:
"She is texting better than women we dating huku nje & handling a situation quite well."
@KelvinHurting wrote:
"Commendable that an 8yr old is texting proper and correct sentences but a whole millennial wants to text gibberish hieroglyphics."
@Jacquemungai said:.xLol the one thing that these kids don't joke about is being shouted at. I had to learn to tone down my voice when offspring was younger."
On the story of a child deleting her mother's contact after being scolded, Legit.ng reached out to a therapist who also doubles as a counselor.
The expert, Esther Solarin, who operates the institute Imole Counselling and Therapy Services, shared a thorough explanation about what might have led the young girl to take such a step against her mother.
Regarding what this kind of behavior tells us about a child’s feelings and understanding of boundaries, she shared:
“So, for an eight-year-old, the child is already developing a sense of respect in terms of how they want to be treated, how they want the world to see them, relate with them, and talk to them. There is a growing sense of how they see the world, and a growing sense of how the parent–child, in this case parent–daughter, relationship should go."
"From her reaction, it’s clear the child felt her feelings were disregarded or that she was disrespected. This does not validate her actions or her mother’s actions before or after deleting her mother’s number. But it shows that the child is also a person with feelings, a sense of identity, and an idea of how she wants to be treated. This also connects to her understanding of boundaries."
"She is at a stage where she feels she can make some decisions for herself. What I’m trying to do here is explain what is typically going on in the mind of an eight-year-old child. Because of her sense of awareness and growing understanding of her world and the people in it, she is in that space where she feels she needs to set certain boundaries to protect herself. In this situation, it happens that her mother is the one on the receiving end.”
On how parents can handle situations where their child reacts in an unexpected or “rebellious” way, she explained:
"I think the first thing to understand is that it’s not about you. As a parent, your feelings are valid, you have a right to be upset and to feel a certain way about whatever your child does, but it is also not just about you. You are dealing with a human being who has a right to her feelings. You must be able to see the situation from the child’s perspective."
"What do you want to see at the end of the day? You want a situation where your child understands why you are upset. You want the child to understand that there are consequences for their actions. You want the child to see that the world is bigger than how they currently perceive it and to develop a broader perspective. In other words, you want to guide and groom your child. To do that effectively, you must first understand the child and, by extension, help the child understand you."
"So, how can parents handle situations where the child reacts in unexpected or rebellious ways? First, calm down. You cannot do much if you are not calm. If you respond purely from your emotions, you are likely to overreact. But if you take time to calm down and process the situation, you can develop better strategies to resolve the issue, help the child understand, and maintain your relationship with them."
"It is also very important to have an end goal in mind. That goal should be a healthy and trusting relationship between you and your child, where your child grows in awareness and understanding and knows that you are on their side, not their enemy."
"Once you are calm and see that it’s not just about you, you can begin to process what happened from the child’s perspective. This allows you to see both the child’s lapses and your own. With that understanding, you can calmly have a conversation with the child. At eight years old, they can comprehend explanations in simple language. You might say, 'I understand that XYZ went wrong, but here is a better way to see things going forward. This is why I am upset, and this is why I think you felt that way.' Having conversations like this helps the child learn and understand boundaries in a way that makes sense to them."
"It’s important to recognize that when a child responds in a way that seems disrespectful or unfamiliar, there is a reason behind it. First, try to understand that reason. Why is the child behaving this way? What is the underlying issue causing this reaction?"
"Children often model what has been demonstrated to them. In this case, if the mother tends to flare up, cut people off, or respond angrily when upset, the child may see that as the natural way to handle conflict. What needs to be looked into is the root cause of the behavior. Why did the child feel the need to take such a drastic action to make a point? Is it stemming from loneliness, a desire for independence, or a deep sense of pain?"
"Responding with anger, threats, or punishment will not solve the issue. What will solve it is the ability to look at the situation from the child’s perspective and address the underlying causes thoughtfully."
On whether small actions by children can be signs of bigger emotional needs or developmental milestones, she answered:
"Yes, yes, yes. Many times, these actions reveal something deeper. For instance, at eight years old, children are still learning to manage their emotions. They haven’t fully developed emotional regulation yet. They may still have outbursts, get impatient, or respond to life primarily from their own perspective."
"This calls for older or more experienced people in the child’s life to probe and ask: What exactly do these actions reveal? Often, they can indicate a deeper need for emotional connection. Sometimes, as humans, we take actions that, on the surface, seem one way, but in reality, express the opposite of what we truly desire."
"In this case, the child deleted her mother’s number because she felt a certain way about her mother. But in truth, she may be craving a deeper emotional connection. She may feel that her mother does not understand her, and so she reacts by asserting independence. This is essentially a cry for a stronger bond with her mother. The mother must be wise enough to see that the action is a symptom of a deeper issue, something that needs to be addressed together."
"At the same time, this action can stem from a desire for independence. As humans grow, the need for freedom and autonomy increases. It’s important for adults in a child’s life to guide this process, so the child does not receive so much independence that it overwhelms them. Children need to understand the power and responsibility that comes with the independence they have."
"This action is also an indication that the child is asserting that her feelings are valid, and that she has the right to make choices regarding her life. If she perceives someone as a threat, she may take steps to protect herself. So, while it may seem like she simply deleted her mother’s number, there are deeper underlying issues that still need to be uncovered."
On how parents can rebuild trust quickly after an incident that upset a child, she shared:
"Number one, understand that you are human and you are not perfect. Because you are human, you may make mistakes and you may not always be 100% correct."
"Number two, understand that your child is also human. Sometimes, subconsciously, parents objectify their children—they don’t fully see them as humans with thoughts and feelings. Instead, they see them as people they brought into the world, almost like possessions. We may not do this consciously, but it can influence how we relate to our children. To rebuild trust, we must see them for who they truly are: humans with emotions, feelings, and thoughts. When you see them that way, it becomes easier to reconnect and rebuild with them."
"Number three, take responsibility for your actions. If you have done something that may have contributed to a breakdown in your relationship with your child, it’s important to acknowledge it. Say, 'I did this, and it may have caused problems in our relationship.' Even if you didn’t experience this kind of accountability with your own parents, it doesn’t mean you can’t provide it for your child. Apologizing where necessary is an important step in rebuilding trust."
"Number four, analyze issues from a more objective perspective. As a parent, it’s natural to respond from a place of pain, especially when you feel directly affected by your child’s actions. But if you truly want to rebuild trust after upsetting your child, you need to be objective. Being objective allows you to see what needs to be done better and how things could have been handled differently."
"For instance, your child may not respond well to being shouted at. An intelligent parent who wants to improve would ask: How else can I communicate my displeasure in a way that does not break my child’s spirit, but helps them understand my point of view? How can I guide my child to become a better person while respecting their feelings?
"You cannot answer these questions from a place of anger or pain. You must first manage your own emotions, then approach the situation objectively so you can respond appropriately."
Finally, on strategies parents can use to help children express emotions in a healthier way, she said:
"Well, it just starts with first creating a healthy, emotionally safe space for a child to really be able to express themselves. If a child feels like they are in a stifled environment where everything they say is used against them, it becomes a problem. If a child feels that their feelings are not valid at home, you will not be able to get that child to express themselves in a healthy way."
"So first and foremost, we have to be deliberate about creating that emotionally safe environment. We have to let them know they are free to express themselves, free to communicate how they feel, and we will be there to guide them."
"But that also means the parent must be able to self-regulate their emotions. The truth is children watch what you do. Parents must be able to manage themselves. They may need to take a moment, maybe a minute, to collect themselves. Maybe they need to step away for a moment to just breathe and process. Children need to see you model that. It is when they see you model these things that they are able to learn from you."
"The other part is giving the child room to express themselves. Even when the child expresses themselves in the way they understand, it is wise for parents to calmly redirect those emotions. You can say, 'I understand your feelings are valid, but the way you expressed them was not right. Next time, try to calm down, take some time to think about your feelings before acting.' This is teaching the child how to manage their emotions."
"When you do this, you not only help the child, but you also help build a better relationship. When children have emotional outbursts, we need to realize they have a right to their feelings. We may not like how it sounds. We may feel disrespected. But really, it is not about us. So give that child room to express themselves. And when they have, calmly guide them to understand:"
"1. Actions have consequences."
"2. There are better ways to channel your emotions."
"3. You do not have to break relationships because you are upset."
"4. Do not make permanent decisions in the heat of your emotions."
"When children learn these things, they can see the world better and manage their emotions better too."
Read the post below:
Meanwhile, in a similar story, Legit.ng reported that a lady reunited with her mum after spending 20 years in the US, and the emotional moment went viral as the woman initially failed to recognise her own daughter.
Daughter represents mum at school meeting
Meanwhile, Legit.ng recently reported that a young Nigerian lady attended a PTA meeting on behalf of her mother, who returned to secondary school to complete her education.
She shared her emotional experience in a viral video, showing how the visit brought back old memories and made her appreciate her mother’s courage and determination. The story also revealed why her mother chose to go back to school and how other Nigerians reacted to the inspiring moment.
Proofreading by Funmilayo Aremu, copy editor at Legit.ng.
Source: Legit.ng
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