75 funny insults and comebacks to decimate your opponent with humour

75 funny insults and comebacks to decimate your opponent with humour

Are you tired of the same old insults and comebacks? Want to spice up your verbal jousting with some hilarious zingers? Sharing the funniest insults and comebacks will help you decimate your opponent with humour. Whether you're looking to roast a friend or shut down a foe, these funny insults and clever retorts will leave everyone in stitches.

funny insults
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Source: UGC

Words can be a powerful weapon, and when used correctly, insults and comebacks can be a devastating blow to anyone's ego. But why be mean and hurtful when you can be funny and witty instead? These funny insults and comebacks are sure to leave your opponent speechless.

75 funny insults and comebacks

Humour is an essential component of every relationship, romantic or otherwise. Funny insults are a great way to bring people together. They are a great way to poke fun at your friends and loved ones. Incorporating ridiculous insults will make everyone laugh.

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Creative insults

Humour can be a great tool to diffuse tension and lighten up a heated conversation or argument. And when it comes to insults and comebacks, being funny and creative can be more effective than just being mean and hurtful. The following are some of the best clever insults you can throw at your opponent.

  • I've been called worse by better.
  • Did you use a mud puddle as a mirror this morning?
  • I'd insult you, but then I'll have to explain it afterwards, so never mind.
  • I expected an intellectual conversation, but it seems there's no one around to have that with.
  • You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste.
  • Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you talk to me.
  • Serial killers would go mad if they had you as a victim.
  • If I wanted to end it all, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  • I'd love to agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
  • Someday you'll go far; I hope you stay there.
  • You're not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope they don't die.
  • If opposites attract, then I hope you meet someone attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
  • If I had a penny for every brain cell you have, I'd have nothing.
  • Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.
  • I've seen people like you before, but last time I had to pay an admission.
  • I'm not saying that I hate you, but I'd unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile.

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Funny insults for friends

creative insults
Photo: pexels.com, @wildlittlethingsphoto (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Could you be in a situation where you want to win an argument with your friends? These hilarious and creative insults and comebacks will help you win an argument.

  • Were you born on the highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
  • Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there.
  • There's only one problem with your face; I can see it.
  • I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
  • You are not only dull himself; you are the cause of dullness in others.
  • Oh, forgive me. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  • Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything!
  • Too bad you can't photoshop your ugly personality.
  • Would you please say hello to the clown you see in the mirror for me?
  • Has anyone ever told you that you're like a cloud? As soon as you disappear, it's a brighter day.
  • Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone.
  • I wanted to make a joke about your life, but your life beat me to the punch.
  • From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

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Stupid insults

clever insults
Photo: pexels.com, @nappy (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Insults and comebacks can be fun to engage in playful banter with friends or put down an opponent in a heated argument. But sometimes, the most effective insults and comebacks can be the most straightforward.

  • There is no vaccine against stupidity.
  • Thank God the kids don't have my surname. Stupid doesn't run in my family.
  • If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
  • You're not stupid. You're just consistently underwhelming.
  • I'm sorry, I didn't realize that 'stupid' was your first language.
  • I'm sorry, I don't speak idiot. Could you repeat that in English?
  • Everyone has a right to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege.
  • I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices.
  • You are not stupid! You just have bad luck when you're thinking.
  • Stupidity is not a crime. So you're free to go.
  • Do aliens exist? Wait, that's a stupid question; I'm looking at one right now.
  • I'm trying to come up with an insult that's stupid enough for you to realize, so give me a moment.
  • There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
  • Don't try to think too hard. You're so stupid it might sprain your brain.
  • I'd call you an idiot, but that would be insulting to all the idiots out there.
  • Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions.

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Best insults of all time

witty insults
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Source: UGC

Having the right comeback deems you a smart person. From cheesy one-liners to cringe-worthy jokes, these insults and comebacks are sure to make you and your audience laugh out loud.

  • When I saw your face, the only thing I would have changed was the direction I was heading in.
  • Your mother should have thrown you away and kept the stork.
  • Let me clarify. What makes you believe the following 25 times will be successful if I don't respond to you the first time?
  • Two wrongs don't make a right; take your parents as an example.
  • Please keep speaking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
  • Are you speaking to me? I believed that you just spoke behind my back.
  • Bye. Hope to see you never.
  • Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.
  • He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
  • Isn't there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?
  • I'd prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed.
  • I'm busy at the moment. Can I ignore you when I'm more freed up?
  • I'd slap you, but that will be animal abuse.
  • I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
  • Roses are red; violets are blue; God made me pretty; what happened to you?

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Hilarious insults

insults for friends
Photo: pexels.com, @mentalhealthamerica (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Hilarious insults are a humorous way to roast your friends. Below are some of the funniest insults that you can use.

  • It's kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
  • Don't worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.
  • I will ignore you so hard you will begin doubting your existence.
  • It looks like your face caught on fire, and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
  • The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
  • I never forget a face, but in your case, I'd love to make an exception.
  • Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.
  • You look like a ‘before’ picture.
  • I do desire we may be better strangers.
  • You know what you're missing? A warning label.
  • There are no gaps in your ignorance.
  • I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
  • Do you see that door? I want you on the other side of it.
  • I like your approach. Now let's see your departure.
  • Oh my God, look at your state of you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

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Humour can be a powerful tool when it comes to insults and comebacks. Instead of resorting to mean and hurtful comments, clever and funny insults can be just as effective, if not more so.

READ ALSO: 53 quotes about pathways that will help you find your way in life

Legit.ng recently published an article with 53 quotes about pathways to help you find your way. People take different paths to achieve their goals in life. A path is a way of life, a way of thinking, or a series of actions that leads to a specific goal or result.

To live a meaningful life and fulfil your purpose, you must choose the right path for yourself. And this is why you need quotes about pathways to help you find your way in life.

Source: Legit.ng

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