70+ funny Harry Potter jokes that will turn you into a howler

70+ funny Harry Potter jokes that will turn you into a howler

Harry Potter is a notable series of seven fantasy novels written by British author J. K. Rowling. The novel depicts the lives of a young wizard, Harry Potter, and his friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, all of whom are studying at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If you like the Harry Potter series, you have most likely noticed the hilarious Harry Potter jokes inspired by Rowling’s famous books.

Harry Potter jokes
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Harry Potter movies and books are fantastic stories that are enjoyed by many children and adults today. Check out this collection of the Harry Potter jokes that will definitely make you laugh out loud.

Harry Potter puns

Harry Potter puns are perfect for anyone. They are literally little brain exercises, and every time the jokes are shared, they get better. Here are some funny Harry Potter puns for you to share with your family and friends.

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  • Why was Harry Potter in trouble at school? Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.
  • McGonagall is a good teacher, but she has a tendency to be catty.
  • What would you call the boy who lived if he got a beard? Hairy Potter.
  • Why did Harry Potter get stopped for speeding? Because he didn't expect-no-patrol, man.
  • Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione? He was looking in the Ron places.
  • Poor Potter cannot tell the difference between his potion’s pot and his best friend because they are both cauldron!
  • How does HP get rid of a rash? With quit-itch.
  • Why did Harry Potter get detention? Because he was cursing in class.
  • Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you’ll never know which side he’s on.
  • Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor? Because he can’t control his pupils.

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Harry Potter jokes for kids

Harry Potter is a wonderful story that many children enjoy. If your children are fans of the Harry Potter series, then these amusing Harry Potter jokes will have your kids laughing and loving them.

Dark Harry Potter jokes
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  • Where do bullfrogs go to learn magic? Bogwarts.
  • What do you call a flattened dragon? A lizard trading card.
  • What do you call a yellow stick used to cast spells? A blonde wand.
  • Which magical creature is black and fluffy and will sniff out a buried car? A Miffler.
  • How do turn a donkey into a unicorn? With a horserer's stone.
  • What do wizards eat when they go to the beach? Sandwitches.
  • What do call an ugly wolf that lives in your attic? A ghoooooooooooool.
  • What do you call a wizard with stinky shoes? A Death Feeter.
  • What's a squirrel's favorite drink? Nutterbeer.
  • What is the worst thing you can wear on your feet? A You-Know-Shoe.
  • What do you call a friendly wizard who spends a lot of time at the gym? A huffletuff.
  • What do you call someone that is half man, half horse, and has a big nose? A scentaur.
  • What do all witches carry in their purses to help them paint their nails? Toe-glass.
  • What was the name of the Hufflepuff ghost who used to be a vampire hunter? Bat Fryer.
  • What was the name of the nosy witch journalist who only did food stories? Pita Eater.

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Funny Harry Potter jokes

Below are some of the interesting jokes that will leave any Harry Potter fan rolling in tears of joy. Have a look.

  • What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children? Orange Is the New Black.
  • Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook? Because he has only followers, not friends.
  • Why didn’t Draco become friends with Harry? Because he was running out of breath while saying Harry’s last name.
  • How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb. One to rotate the room.
  • What did Hermione do when Harry and Ron took the flying car to school? Finally relaxed.
  • What do you call two Quidditch players who share a dorm? Broom-mates.
  • Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you’d never know which side he was on.
  • What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks? Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
  • How many harry potters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, he just stands there, and the world revolves around him.
  • Aren't you a little too old to obsess with Harry Potter? No one asked your opinion, you little Mudblood.
  • Why does Neville always use two bathroom stalls? Because he has a Longbottom.
  • Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you’ll never know which side he’s on.
  • How do Wizards change the light bulb? One holds the bulb, and the other rotates the room.
  • How did Harry Potter convince McGonagall to join the quidditch team? I got 99 problems, but a snitch ain’t one!
  • Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding? Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.
  • Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you won’t know which side he’s on.
  • Why did it take Harry so long to find all Horcurxes? Because he was looking in all the Ron places.
  • Why was Voldemort trying to listen to the Order of Phoenix meetings? He was nosy!
  • What’s the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter? A ginger with two friends.

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Harry Potter dad jokes

Funny Harry Potter jokes will absolutely make you laugh. Funny harry potter jokes for dad will make them laugh more and look for more jokes. Check out the list below.

Harry Potter dad jokes
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  • What advice would Pinocchio give to Voldemort? Voldy, you just have to lie to get a real nose.
  • When a Quidditch commentator starts coughing, what does he become? A bit Weasley.
  • Why is it hard for Neville to find jeans that fit? Because he's a Longbottom.
  • What is Harry Potter's favourite way to get down a hill? Walking.
  • How does Harry Potter stir a potion? He puts his wand in the cauldron, and the world revolves around him.
  • How can you tell which Hogwarts House Prongs was in? True to his form, he was a Gryffin-deer.
  • You see Snape standing on the middle of the road. Do you know why? Because no one will ever know which side he is actually on.
  • Why did Harry Potter enjoy speaking to the postman? He could speak parcel tongue.
  • What do you call a severed part of your soul with a broken leg? A horcrutch.
  • Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him Moody.
  • Who is Sinistar's favourite HP character? Ron Ron Ron.
  • Why does Voldemort have a Twitter account, and not a Facebook account? Because Voldemort only has followers and no friends.
  • What do you call a crossover between Harry Potter and Star Wars? Scar Wars.
  • What are some good HP dad jokes you could see Rupert using on his kid? Rupert Grint is going to be a Dad!
  • How will you rate the Harry Potter series on a scale of one to ten? Nine and three quarters!
  • Why did the basilisk stay away from the road? Because the roster’s cry is fatal to it.
  • How did the Cornish pixies learn to fly? They stole pixie dust from the Tinker Bell’s Fairy Pixy Hollow.
  • How do you get to the weight room at Hogwarts? Through the Dumbell door.
  • Why is the witchcraft school located in the US fancier than the rest? Because they have a lot of Ilver-money.
  • Voldemort is a really sweet guy. He, after all, waited for seven long years to attack and kill Harry till he was in his final year of school.

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Harry potter knock knock jokes

While Harry Porter has its scary moments in the series itself, it also has some amusing jokes that will help you overcome your fears. Read on.

Hermione

Knock Knock

Who’s There?

Hermione

Hermione who?

Hermione sister won’t open the door.

No name

Knock knock.

Who's there?

He who must not be named.

He who must not be named who?

I can't say who, that's the whole point!

It's Harry

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Harry.

Harry who?

Harry up, it's getting cold out here!

Who?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Who.

Who who?

Hedwig flies away.

You know

Knock knock.

Who's there?

You know.

You know who?

Exactly! Avada kedavra!

Must be Dumbledore

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dumbledore.

Dumbledore who?

This dumb o'l door won't open, please let me in!

Oliver Wood

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oliver Wood.

Oliver Wood who?

Oliver Wood like to come in now, please.

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I do!

Knock Knock.

Who’s There?

You Know.

You Know Who?

That’s right, I do!

Come in Oliver

Knock Knock

Who’s There?

Oliver Wood

Oliver Wood who?

Oliver Wood, you just open the door!

Gryffin

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Gryffin

Gryffin who?

Gryffindor’s locked, let me in.

Funny Harry Potter one-liners jokes

Funny Harry Potter jokes
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Funny Harry Potter one-liners jokes are easy to remember and tell. They are hilarious enough to share and make others laugh. Here are some funny jokes to share.

  • What does Harry Potter have that Voldemort doesn't? A nose!
  • On Monday I cannot function without my Espresso patronum.
  • What do you call a Slytherin in winter? A Shiver-in.
  • Why doesn't Voldemort wear glasses? Nobody nose.
  • Why did Snape cross the road twice? He's a double crosser!
  • If you don't like this Harry Potter joke, there's something Ron with you!
  • What's a wizard's favourite kind of cereal? Huffle Puffs.
  • What did the comedian say to Harry Potter? Why so Sirius?
  • How does Voldemort enter a room? He slithers in.

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The jokes listed above are some of the best and most funny Harry Potter jokes, perfect for both kids and adults. You can share them with your friends, family, and children.

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Little Johnny’s jokes are guaranteed to make you laugh because the words and phrases used in the text are hilarious. This article includes all the best and funny little Johnny jokes that you can always share with your friends and laugh out loud together.

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