100+ funny cow jokes, puns, memes, sayings and one-liners

100+ funny cow jokes, puns, memes, sayings and one-liners

Cow jokes, puns, memes, sayings, and one-liners are the greatest rib-ticklers for everyday conversations. This is because most people can relate to cows, their useful products, cute colours, and, most importantly, their gentle and kind demeanour. Check out these amusing cow jokes, puns, one-liners, and cow pick-up lines.

cow jokes
Photo: pexels.com, @viniciuspnts (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Cows are recognised for being friendly and intelligent creatures. They simultaneously provide milk and meat. Below is a variety of funny jokes about cows and puns you can share with your friends and loved ones.

Funny cow jokes

Funny cow jokes are easily relatable. They are also common in a lot of examples. Take a look at the following examples.

  • Why are cows such great dancers? They have all the best moooves!
  • Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
  • What do you call a grass-fed cow? A lawn moo-er!
  • Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
  • Why did the cow have no toes? Because he was lack toes intolerant.
  • Why did the two cows not like each other? They had beef.
  • What did the cow tell the butcher? Please stop, or else we're gonna have some beef.
  • What would a cow give if she was a pampered brat? Spoiled milk.
  • What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder!
  • Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? They lactose.
  • What did one dairy cow say to the other? Got milk?
  • What is a cow's favourite day of the week? Moo-nday.
  • What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing? His shadow.
  • How do you count cows? With a cowculator!
  • Where would you find a cow who's having a really bad day? At McDonalds.
  • What happens when a cow laughs? Milk comes out of its nose.
  • Why do cows work? To make mooooney.

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Interesting cow jokes for kids

cow jokes
Photo: pexels.com, @alexasfotos (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Cows, in particular, are popular among children for many reasons. If you are a parent looking for ways to make your child laugh while learning animal sounds, here are a few cow jokes to try.

  • What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It's pasture bedtime!
  • How would you address a scared cow? Cow-herd.
  • What would happen if a cow was milked during an earthquake? It would turn into a smoothie.
  • How did the cow know he was noble? He was a Sir Loin.
  • What did the calf say to the silo? Is my fodder in there?
  • What happens when you try talking to a cow? Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
  • What is a cow's favourite newspaper? The Daily Moos.
  • What would a cow's favourite magazine be? Moogue.
  • Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer's hands were cold.
  • Why did the cow travel into space? To visit the Milky Way
  • What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer
  • Where do cows eat lunch? In the calfeteria.
  • Why do cows have bells tied around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
  • What do cows eat for breakfast? Grass.
  • Which sci-fi movie does a cow love? Dr. Moo.
  • How do cows laugh? Moo-haha.
  • What does the cow band play? Moo-sic!

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Cow jokes for adults

Do you know you can create a good impression and be that humorous friend everyone wants to be friends with? Take a look at some hilarious cow dad jokes that you can use.

  • What did the cow say to her misbehaving calf? I am not amoosed by you.
  • Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He got no beef.
  • Where do cows go out for a date? To the moo-vies
  • What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
  • What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee? Over-calfinated.
  • What's an unusual way to make a milkshake? Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
  • What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? A baaaaaaad mooooood.
  • Why are cows always broke? Someone's always milking them dry.
  • What did the secret agent cow say to the other? Are you udder cover?
  • What do you call a cow that can't give milk? An udder failure.
  • What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef
  • My cow just wandered into a field of mar*juana. The steaks have never been so high!
  • What does a farmer talk about when she's milking a cow? Udder nonsense.
  • Why was the cow sad? She was moo-dy.
  • Where do cows get all their medicine? The farmacy.
  • What happened when a cow broke up with her boyfriend? She moo-ved on.
  • What do cows do when they're hungover? They moo-ch around.

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Funny cow quotes

Funny cow sayings
Photo: pexels.com, @pixabay (modified by author)
Source: UGC

If you like animals, particularly cows, you should share these funny cow sayings with your family and friends.

  • Even a cow creates ambiguous signifiers. The moo of mystery. - Mason Cooley
  • There's nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows. - Russell Crowe
  • To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone. - Reba McEntire
  • Cows are gentle, interesting animals. - Ingrid Newkirk
  • Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said, "I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them? - Bill Watterson
  • I have no affinity for cows. I mean, they're cool. - Doja Cat
  • Learning is like a cow of desire. It, like her, yields in all seasons. - Chanakya
  • On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home. - Groucho Marx
  • Moo may represent an idea, but only the cow knows. - Mason Cooley
  • I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home. - Groucho Marx
  • Cow protection means protection of the weak, the helpless… the deaf. - Mahatma Gandhi
  • Sacred cows make very poor gladiators. - Nikki Giovanni
  • As a calf follows its mother among a thousand cows, so the (good or bad) deeds of a man follow him. - Chanakya
  • Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture. - Winston Churchill
  • If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? - Steven Wright
  • It doesn't matter how much milk you spill as long as you don't lose the cow. - Harvey Mackay
  • A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way, the women will be on you like flies! - Bill Maher

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Memorable cow puns

If you want to crack some ribs on a daily basis, go through this wonderful list of cow puns.

  • Watch out, you don't want to butcher any of these jokes.
  • The steaks are high.
  • I have some real beef with that guy.
  • I got the mooves like Jagger.
  • Make sure you show up on time; otherwise Bessie will have a cow.
  • Milk it for all it's worth.
  • What is the best game to play with heifers? Monooploly.
  • I hear that when you go to Alaska, you will find Eski-moos.
  • And then I told my therapist that I feel seen, but not herd.
  • I am udderly in love with you!
  • Not as mooch as I love you.
  • It is a beautiful scene whenever I see two romantic cows watching a Moo-vie.
  • Bulls that do not use shaving cream will grow a Moo-stache.
  • Cows probably go on the first date to dance to the Moo-sic.
  • A heifer that produces good milk should be paid in Moo-ney.
  • All the sick cows were diagnosed with hay-fever.
  • For a heifer to play in my team, they must come with a Jersey.

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Best cow one-liners

cow one-liners
Photo: pexels.com, @fred (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Funny cow puns one-liners spice up your smart talks. Well, you might find some of the following cow one-liners interesting.

  • What name is given to animals kept for milk that possess a perfect sense of humour? They are called the laughing stock.
  • Why did the bulls bet for the football game that ended yesterday? Probably the betting stakes were high.
  • I saw a group of heifers being taken to the hospital after having a serious fight. What was the matter? They have had beef for a long time.
  • What sound did the cows hear when the air force dropped the boom on the farm? Cow-boom!
  • An Arab standing next to a cow is probably a Milk Sheikh.
  • What style did the calf tell the barber he wants? The Cowlick!
  • How do dairy farmers do their taxes? They go to an accountant.
  • Why did the cow look so confused? He was having deja moo.
  • What is a cow's favourite place to go on vacation? Moo-ritius.
  • What do you call a cow that can part water? Moo-ses.
  • What do you call a cow that talks to himself? A solilocow.
  • What did the coach say to the cows? "Now get out there and give me 2%!"
  • What do cows say when they're stuck in traffic? Moo-ve out of my way!
  • What has the lone cow been up to lately? Nobody's herd.
  • What happens when cows stop shaving? They grow moostaches.
  • How did the farmer find the missing cow? He tractor down.
  • When you cross a smurf with a cow, what do you get? Blue cheese.

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Cow memes

If you enjoy sharing or posting memes on social networking platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Whatsapp, here are some of the greatest and funniest cow memes available.

1. When he only dates hot girls.

cow memes
Photo: @liliquelive
Source: Instagram

That expression you get when you hear a rumour about someone you like dating exclusively hot girls. So you will have to step up your game and give him exactly what he wants.

2. The exaggerated information on food labels

cow memes
Photo: @simplynaturalwv
Source: Instagram

When you read food labels and think to yourself, "Is this even real?" The ingredients that are being used in food nowadays are insane!

What do you call a group of cows?

A herd of cattle.

How do you know when a cow is mad?

When a cow is enraged, it stamps its foot on the ground and tries to knock on anyone who approaches it.

The above are some of the greatest cow jokes, puns, memes, sayings, and one-liners. You can share them to brighten your family and friends' moods.

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Sending such people happy 30th birthday greetings is thoughtful and demonstrates that you value them. You can also brighten their day by sharing these quotes or sayings. There are a lot of them in the post to assist you.

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Mercy Mbuthia avatar

Mercy Mbuthia (Lifestyle writer) Mercy Mbuthia is a content writer with five years of experience writing on various topics, including biographies, entertainment, and lifestyle. She joined the Legit team in 2019. Mercy earned a Master of Science (Food, Nutrition & Dietetics) from Dedan Kimathi University in 2022. Her articles have appeared on several media sites such as The Health Channel, The Nation, Tekrati, ValiantCEO and Celebrity Leader. In 2023, Mercy finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. Email: mercymmbuthia18@gmail.com

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