50+ funny pirate jokes and one-liners for kids and adults to enjoy

50+ funny pirate jokes and one-liners for kids and adults to enjoy

Do you have children or friends who enjoy the lifestyle of pirates? Being a pirate isn't a glamorous job, but the jokes that come with it are hilarious. Even a hundred years from now, the jokes that are being told today will still be funny. Check out some of these hilarious pirate jokes and one-liners.

pirate jokes
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Source: UGC

Jokes brighten everyone's mood and encourage people to think on a lighter note. Every time the jokes are shared, they get better. Here are some hilarious pirate one-liners for you to use.

Funny pirate jokes for kids

You can do something else with your children besides playing outdoor games. Share these funny jokes with them.

  • What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned.
  • What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie
  • Why are pirates so angry when they come back from the toilet? After the p has gone, they become irate.
  • Why did the pirate pull out of the stock market? Because he was in shark-invested waters!
  • How come only the pirate with the eyepatch was able to make it to shore? Because it was one island!
  • Why couldn't the pirate crew play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!
  • What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Robin Hook!
  • What did the pirate say when he left his wooden leg in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!
  • What do pirates wear when it gets really cold? Long Johns.
  • Did you hear about the one-handed pirate who heard a rumour that a group of skunks were going to sink his ship? He fell for it hook, line and stinker.
  • Why do pirates never shower before they get on the plank? Because they will just wash up on the shore later.
  • What's the name of the world's most frugal pirate? Barry D. Treasure
  • Why did the pirate have to go to the apple store? To get a new Ipatch.
  • What do you call a ship at the bottom of the sea? A nervous wreck.

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Funniest pirate dad jokes

funny pirate jokes
Photo: pexels.com, @pixabay (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Best pirate jokes will definitely make you laugh. Funny pirate jokes for dad will make them laugh and make them want to learn more about life at sea. Consider some of the one-liners below.

  • What's a pirate's favourite letter of the alphabet? AAAARGH
  • Have you heard any good pirate jokes? Well, neither have ayyyye.
  • Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs? Right where you left him.
  • Doctor Doctor, why do I feel like everyone keeps talking to me like a pirate? Because they argh!
  • What do you get if you cross a pirate and a tropical fruit Bandana!
  • How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg!
  • Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground? Because booty is only shin-deep!
  • Why couldn't the pirate stop binge-watching the TV series? Because he was hooked!
  • What's the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer? A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
  • Why did the pirate go on holiday? He was in serious need of some Aaaaaar and Aaaaaaar.
  • A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate's peg leg and asked, "How did you get that?"
  • Which two football teams were at the finals of the pirate Superbowl? The Buccaneers and the Seahawks.
  • Why didn't the pirate go to the movies? Because it was rated AAAAARGH
  • What do you call 3.14 men out at sea? 'Pi’-rates!
  • What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!

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Hilarious pirate jokes for adults

pirate one-liners
Photo: pexels.com, @georgedesipris (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Pirate one-liners are simple to remember and tell. The jokes are funny, and while you are catching up with your friends, you can share these obscure pirate jokes below with them.

  • What kind of socks does a pirate wear? AAAARGHYLE
  • Why do pirates need cell phones? To make booty calls!
  • Why were there no painkillers left on the pirate ship? Because the parrots-ate-emol!
  • How come the pirate found it easy to recite the tongue twister: "Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese"? Because he was used to the Seven C's!
  • What's the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate? One has a rumbling tummy, and the other's a tumbling rummy.
  • Why did the pirate buy an eye patch? Because he couldn't afford an iPad!
  • Why don't pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later!
  • What is a pirate's least favourite letter? Your boat has been impounded due to unpaid loan repayments.
  • Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later.
  • How much did the pirate pay for his earrings? A buck-an-ear.
  • Why did one pirate push the other one overboard? Because they got into an arrgh-ument!
  • What did the pirate wear on Halloween? A pumpkin patch!
  • Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C!
  • What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes? 8 pirates.
  • What's the difference between a pirate and a raspberry farmer? The pirate buries his treasures, but the farmer treasures his berries.

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Bad pirate jokes for adults

bad pirate jokes
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Source: UGC

Pirate puns are clever and will make you laugh out loud. If you are a fan of the sea and love pirate-related stories, then these funny jokes will do you good.

  • What does a vegan pirate do in jail? Starrrrrve!
  • What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian? Aye matey years old!
  • How do you p*ss off a pirate? Take away the 'P
  • Why do pirates carry swords? Because swords can't walk.
  • What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!
  • Why was it so hard to call the pirate on the phone? Because he left it off the hook.
  • Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate? Because he was standing on the deck.
  • What happened to the crews when the red pirate ship fought with the blue pirate ship? They got marooned!
  • What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!
  • Blackbeard's friend Bluebeard was killed in battle; how did he bring him back to life? With Sea Pee Arrrrgh.
  • How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply? He bought it on the sail.
  • What do the pirates say to motivate each other during a race? Rum bottle, RUM!

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Corny pirate jokes

corny pirate jokes
Photo: pexels.com, @georgedesipris (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Everyone loves a good joke, and this is one way of bonding with your loved ones. Check out these funny pirate jokes below:

  • What's a pirate's favourite type of music? Rum & Bass!
  • What's a pirate's favourite subject? Arrrt!
  • What's a pirate's worst enemy? Termites.
  • What did the sea police say when they arrested the pirate? You're under a chest!
  • What did one pirate say to another during a game of hide-and-seek? I sea you!
  • Which Star Wars character do pirates like the most? Aarrrrggh-2-D2!
  • What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school? Captain Hooky!
  • What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey!
  • Why do pirates never come back after losing a hand? Because they are far too busy playing hooky.
  • How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear.
  • Why don't pirates go to strip clubs? Because they already have all the booty!

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Humour is good for the soul. Laughing all the time will make you happy and cheerful every day. Your friends will love you and enjoy your company more if you share some good pirate jokes.

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Source: Legit.ng

Peris Wamangu avatar

Peris Wamangu (Lifestyle writer) Peris Wamangu is a reporter who also has experience working as a content writer for three years. She joined Legit 's team in 2021. Peris graduated with a Bachelor of Commerce from the University of Nairobi in 2019. She enjoys writing about various topics such as fashion, currency, biographies, entertainment and business. In 2023, Peris finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. Email: wamanguperis@gmail.com

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