100+ funny ways to answer the phone to get a chuckle from the caller

100+ funny ways to answer the phone to get a chuckle from the caller

Looking for funny ways to answer the phone? Answering a phone call does not have to be monotonous with the cliches, Hello or What’s up? You can say numerous exciting things to liven up a caller, leading to an engaging phone conversation. Depending on who the caller is, show how creative you are by using different hilarious phrases to begin a conversation.

Funny ways to answer the phone
A boy with a woven hat holding a smartphone. Photo: pexels.com, @mukhtarshuaibmukhtar (modified by author)
Source: UGC

A phone call is one of the most preferred ways of communication nowadays. Depending on your relationship with the caller, you can find funny ways to answer the phone besides the usual overused phrases. You can always incorporate something funny into answering their calls, whether they are your colleagues, friends, relatives or strangers.

Funny ways to answer the phone

You must not always answer calls with seriousness; a little joke can be a great conversation starter. Before you spice your phone answering with a joke, it is crucial to mind your relationship with the caller. Here are funny ways to answer the calls of different people.

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Funny ways to answer the phone at work

How do you answer your colleagues’ phone calls? Despite work uniting you, many great ways of sharing fun through phone calls make you temporarily forget about the pressures of work. Here are hilarious ways to answer the phone while at work.

Funny ways to answer spam calls
A woman calling on her cellphone. Photo: pexels.com, @cottonbrostudio (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • This is the water cooler gossip hotline. Go ahead and spill the tea!
  • You are speaking with the company’s customer happiness department. How can I sprinkle joy on your day to make it fun and fruitful?
  • This is the procrastination station. Please hold while I put off answering your call.
  • Here is the chaos central. We turn coffee into productivity. What’s brewing today?
  • You’ve reached [Your Name]’s desk. I’m out fetching coffee. You know the drill, leave a message!
  • This is the office of deadlines and caffeine. How can I help you?
  • This is corporate’s number one worker bee. Are you ready to buzz with me?
  • You’ve dialled into the office zen zone. Let’s inhale positivity and exhale the stress. How may I assist?
  • You’ve reached the redundancy department. What assistance do you require?
  • Company X’s breakroom. For gossip, dial 1. For snack inventory, dial 2. To add more work, hang up.
  • Welcome to the office jungle, where the coffee is strong, and the Mondays are brutal.
  • You’ve dialled the rumour mill call centre. What’s new out there?
  • Welcome to the last cubicle on the left. Proceed with caution!
  • You have reached the office caffeine depot. Would you like to have coffee, coffee, or coffee?
  • You’re through to the corporate labyrinth. Good luck finding your way out!
  • Company X, transforming hard work, sweat and tears into success and laughter. Of what help can I be to you?
  • Good day. You’ve reached your dedicated service provider, currently underpaid but still at your service.
  • Welcome to the panic room, also known as my office.
  • Welcome to the emergency napping headquarters. Chief officer speaking, how can I assist you?
  • You’ve reached the office’s pun master desk. Are you ready to groan?

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Funny ways to answer spam calls

Scammers have used phone calls to defraud their targets, and it is quite common to receive scam calls. How do you serve scammers a dose of their medicine? Below are the best ways to answer the phone if you suspect it is a scam call.

Funny phone greetings
A man at his home working desk on a phone. Photo: pexels.com, @Timamiroshnichenko (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • Hey, I just met you, and this is unbelievable. I know I gave you my number, but I said call me, maybe.
  • Please leave your message at the tone. BEEP!
  • Thank goodness you called back. I need to report a robbery in progress.
  • Oh, thank god you called. There is a prince who left me $10 million. I need to send a bank account number to collect it. If you give me yours, we can split it.
  • I have the money! Please just let my sister go!
  • 911, what’s your emergency?
  • Hi, I’m in the middle of watching a movie, and it’s scary! I don’t want to interrupt. Can we call you back in five minutes?
  • Okay, I concealed the corpse. What should I do next? Please, all I want is to see my kids unharmed.
  • Hello, can you please delete my number from your phonebook?
  • I'm sorry. The number you have dialled is not in service. Please try again later.
  • This is the morgue hotline. How can I assist you?
  • Are you still in business? By now, the bomb has approximately 30 seconds to detonate.
  • Nice to hear from you! I'm fundraising on behalf of ' Kanye for President.' Can I count on you for a donation?
  • Please be attentive as our menu options have changed.
  • Congratulations! You are the lucky winner of a trip to Disney World. Please call back to claim your prize.
  • Thank you for calling tech support. If you want to call, hang up and try again.
  • You’ve got to stop having an affair with my partner.
  • Welcome to hell. Satan speaking. How can I help you?
  • You dialled the wrong number. This is the fortune teller’s hotline.
  • Sorry, you are not audible enough. Besides, there is a banana in my ear.
  • Why are you still awake? You should go to sleep now.

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Funny phone greetings

Exchanging pleasantries is part of the conversation if you are talking to someone on the phone for the first time or after a long time. Whether they are your friends or relatives, you can always add a joke when answering their call to ease and make the conversation interesting. Here are funny things to say when answering the phone.

Funny things to say when answering the phone
A woman using a mobile phone. Photo: pexels.com, @annashvets (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • You’ve reached [Your Name]. I’m on island time. So, I might get back to you sometime later.
  • Greetings from [Your Name]’s phone. I’m currently out having a life. Leave a message!
  • Welcome to the Bad Pun Palace. Hope you’re ready to groan!
  • Welcome to the pun-zone. I hope you are having a pun-derful day!
  • You are speaking to the boredom buster. State your entertainment emergency!
  • Congrats! You are the lucky winner of an opportunity to leave a voicemail. Start speaking after the beep.
  • You have reached the ‘How to Handle Awkward Phone Calls’ Hotline. Start speaking after the awkward silence.
  • The Shire, Baggins speaking. No, we do not want any adventures here!
  • Ahoy-hoy, Alexander Graham Bell’s residence!
  • Hey there, you’ve called the Slumberland hotline. I’m currently busy living the dream. Try again later!
  • Congratulations, you’ve reached the secret hotline. Now, what’s the password?
  • Secret Agent [Your Name]. State your mission.
  • Greetings. You’ve dialled into the hotline of happiness!
  • Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the owl is on its way.
  • Wizard’s tower, third raven on the left. Speak your spell.
  • Good morning. You’re through to the existential crisis hotline. How may we question your existence today?
  • Welcome to the intergalactic hotline. For Earth, press 1. For Mars, press 2. For other galaxies, please hold.
  • Ahoy-hoy, Alexander Graham Bell’s residence!
  • You’ve reached [Your Name]. I’m not home. I’m exploring the inside of my fridge.
  • Welcome to the complaint hotline. For minor annoyances, dial 1. For full-on ranting, dial 2.

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Hilarious ways to answer telemarketers’ calls

Are you bothered by frequent telemarketers’ calls and looking for funny ways to respond to their calls? Below is a compilation of funny things to say when you answer the phone to a telemarketer.

Funny ways to answer calls
A smiling woman in a grey long-sleeve shirt and black denim jeans talking on the phone. Photo: pexels.com, @andreapiacquadio (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • My puppy has been doing the cutest things all morning. I'll text you some pictures if you give me your cell number.
  • Hi, I’m not here right now because I’m dead.
  • I am so glad you called. I just finished memorizing the Gettysburg Address. Can I try it out on you?
  • Oh, I'm so glad you called! I just created a great new app for telemarketers, and I'd love to sign you up now.
  • Sorry for the inconvenience, but please stop calling, or I will have to take legal action against you!
  • You're the hundredth caller today. You win a special prize. Hold on for 30 minutes, and I'll get it for you.
  • Oh, I thought you were my ride? Can you Uber a car for me?
  • I’m sorry I can’t help you. You’ll have to speak to my supervisor.
  • I've been thinking about breaking into phone sales myself. Can you tell me how you got started?
  • Do your parents know you steal money from old ladies for a living?
  • Yeah? What do you want?
  • Sorry, we’re closed right now. Please call back during business hours.
  • Sure, I'll listen to your pitch. But you've got to promise to try this cleanse I just finished.
  • Welcome to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.
  • Sorry, but we only take orders from our mother company, so please stop calling!
  • Hey, you know what? I’m glad you called so we can share this time. Speaking of sharing time, have you heard of a timeshare?
  • I’m sorry we don’t have that number in our phonebook, so please stop calling here!
  • You have reached the voicemail of the President of the United States. Please leave a message after the beep.
  • We can’t talk to you right now. We are too busy eating doughnuts and drawing cats on the walls.
  • We haven’t received any calls yet, so please stop calling us! We don’t want to be bothered!

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Funny ways to answer unknown number calls

Some callers choose to conceal their identity and, thus, hide their numbers when calling you. It can be frustrating to talk to whoever you do not know, and you can choose to put them off by funnily answering their calls. Here are suggestions of things you can say to such callers.

Best ways to answer the phone
A man on a phone call. Photo: pexels.com, @theodecker (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • This is the operator. I’m sorry. All our circuits are busy right now. Please hang up and try your call again later.
  • The number you have reached is currently out of service. If it is urgent, please hang up and call again later!
  • Hello, it’s the fish market. I am a shark; how can I help you?
  • Hey there! This is your neighbourhood mathematician! I wish I could stick around and chat, but I will have to calc-u-later!
  • Are you pizza delivery? If not, then I have no interest in talking to you.
  • This is a wrong number, but stay on the line, and I’ll connect you to the lottery hotline.
  • Hi! This is an automated call from Duck Duck Goose.
  • Hi grandpa. This is your grandkid speaking.
  • Sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’m in the middle of an essential nap.
  • Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t have that number in our phonebook, so please stop calling here!
  • You’ve reached Shark Tank Investigations. What do you need?
  • I am the voice of your conscience. This is God’s T-Mobile side. Try not to be rude, please.
  • You sound hot. Are you hot?
  • I’m sorry, I don’t speak English.
  • Oh, I’m so glad it’s you! Let me tell you all about this fantastic book I just finished!
  • Oh, would you look at the time? I have to go right now, sorry!
  • I’m sorry, all our operators are currently busy. Please hold for the next available operator.
  • The money is in the trash can. You know what to do.
  • We’re sorry, but this call cannot be completed as dialled. Please hang up and try again.
  • Hello, this is Justin Bieber. Which of my songs can I sing for you?

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There are multiple funny ways to answer the phone to make the caller giggle. If you are bothered by frequent scam calls, you can put them off using the above suggestions.

Legit.ng recently published scary numbers to never call. You might assume that it is safe to call any number you come across, but that might not always be the case. There are a few numbers that are believed to be haunted, and calling them might have consequences.

Ever heard of haunted numbers you should not call? Well, there are numbers believed to bring doom if you call them. Read on to know which phone numbers you should avoid calling.

Source: Legit.ng

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