70+ funny text jokes for adults to send to your friends

70+ funny text jokes for adults to send to your friends

In a world of stress and busyness, sending funny text jokes to your adult friends can brighten their day and bring joy to their hearts. It is also a great way of boosting your friendship. Discover some funny text jokes for adults that will leave you and your friends laughing out of your mind.

funny text jokes for adults
A woman sitting at a table with a cell phone. Photo: unsplash.com, @brookecagle (modified by author)
Source: UGC

In the fast-paced modern world, catching up as frequently as you would like can be a challenge. Sending hilarious jokes for adults to your friends is a gesture that says, “I may not always be physically present, but I'm here to put a smile on your face whenever you need it". Feel free to share these funny text jokes for adults to unleash your inner jester through the digital realm.

Funny text jokes for adults

Sending jokes to your friends brightens their day and brings a smile to their faces. Below are funny jokes to send over text that will turn dull moments into fun times.

Read also

What I ordered: Pregnant lady left disappointed over maternity dress fail

Funny jokes to text

A little funny text joke would make a massive difference in a person's day. Consider sending your friends the following funny jokes over text if you want to bond and enjoy each other’s company.

  • A guy knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
  • I don’t like shopping centres. Once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen the mall.
  • Two blondes walk into a building… You’d think one of them would have seen it.
  • I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. It turns out books about women's rights shouldn't go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
  • Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • I just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.
  • What animal do you look like when you get in the bath? A little bear.
  • Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried, but she couldn't reach.
  • My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back.
  • What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
  • I asked my partner if I was the only one she's/he's been with. She/he said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights."
  • Why don't skeletons fight at parties? They don't have the guts to do it!
  • A bossy man walked into a bar, then ordered everyone a round.
  • The doctor gave me one year to live with my illness, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
  • Why do people love you if you donate a kidney? But if you donate five healthy kidneys, they call the police.
  • There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.
  • My mom died, but we couldn't remember her blood group type. As she died, she kept telling us, "Always be positive," but it's hard without her.
  • What does a house wear? Address.

Read also

100+ funny dad jokes for kids that are appropriate for school

Good hilarious jokes for adults

Sharing good jokes with friends creates an environment where you can be yourself without judgment or pretence. Here is a list of funny messages to use in your conversation.

Hilarious jokes for adults
A man in a red shirt with a funny facial expression. Photo: pexels.com, @rdne (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • Today on a drive, I decided to visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst.
  • What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? The wedding ring.
  • What do cows do on date night? Go to the moo-vies.
  • What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees!
  • Did you hear about the tree that went into banking? It started its own branch.
  • How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
  • Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
  • If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
  • I hope you have a happy birthday and celebrate the way you came into the world. Naked and screaming.
  • What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor.
  • Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
  • Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale? You can buy it with no strings attached.
  • Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry.
  • What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet? Gum.
  • A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
  • I wish you were my big toe. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.
  • What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.

Read also

75+ hilarious short people jokes to tell your favourite shortie

Funny short jokes for adults to text

Are you looking for jokes to make someone laugh over text? Make your friends sleep with aching bones and muscles by sending them these funny jokes.

funny short jokes for adults to text
Happy multiethnic girls laughing on the lawn. Photo: pexels.com, @mary-taylor (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • What’s the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish wedding? One less drunk.
  • I failed math so many times at school; I can't even count.
  • What comes after 69? Mouthwash.
  • I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
  • What are the three shortest words in the English language? "Is it in?"
  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
  • What is an Australian kiss? A kiss down under.
  • Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.
  • What do a near-sighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.
  • My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
  • Why should you avoid artists? They tend to be sketchy.
  • Did you know the Pentagon was originally going to just be a square, but the contractor kept cutting corners?
  • You're beautiful' has U in it, but 'quickie' has U and I together.
  • What do quantum whales eat? Planck-ton.
  • Do you still believe in love at first sight? Or should I make a point by passing by you again?

Read also

50+ old people jokes that elderly and youngsters alike will enjoy

Clean hilarious jokes for adults

A good joke is a shared experience among friends that leaves them bursting with laughter at its sheer hilarity. Check out the funny messages highlighted below for inspiration.

Clean hilarious jokes for adults
A funny black man makes a grimace while standing against a tree. Photo: pexels.com, @100k-makhasette (modified by author)
Source: UGC
  • What do you call it when a chameleon can’t camouflage? A reptile dysfunction.
  • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag’s a plus.
  • What does a perverted frog say? Rubbit.
  • I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
  • Never argue with a fool. They'll lower you to their level and then beat you with experience.
  • What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I don't care.
  • Every morning, I announce that I’m going running, but then I don’t. It’s a running joke.
  • Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  • If you jogged backwards, would you gain weight?
  • I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  • What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhoea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
  • Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, “Damn, I forgot to feed the dog.”
  • Why don't eggs tell each other jokes? They'd crack each other up.
  • The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travellers here.” A time traveller walks into a bar.
  • “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
  • Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player? Because to them, love means nothing!
  • What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!
  • Are they casting for 'wonder woman' because I have the right person for the job.
  • Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding on the field.
  • Why do mushrooms get invited to parties? Because they are such fungus.

Read also

100 really funny jokes to tell your friends to make them laugh

Sending funny text jokes for adults to your friends elicits smiles and laughter and reminds them that you care about their happiness and well-being. Feel free to share any texts that impressed you the most to boost your friendship.

Legit.ng recently published an exciting piece about lovely grandchildren quotes to share with your family. Grandchildren hold a special place in their grandparents' hearts, bringing boundless joy, laughter, and a renewed sense of love and purpose.

Connecting with grandchildren allows grandparents to pass down family traditions, values, and life lessons. Read this article and get to know some of the best grandchildren quotes to help you express the unique bond that exists between a grandparent and their grandchildren.

Source: Legit.ng

Brian Oroo avatar

Brian Oroo (Lifestyle writer) Brian Oroo has been working as a writer in Legit.ng since 2021. His main area of specialization is on topics regarding lifestyle, celebrities, news, and many more. He won the Writer of the Year Award on Legit in 2023. Brian graduated with a Bsc. in Electrical and Electronics Engineering from Jomo Kenyatta University (JKUAT) in 2021. In 2023, Brian finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. His email is brianoroo533@gmail.com

Online view pixel