93 best savage roasts to absolutely destroy your opponents

93 best savage roasts to absolutely destroy your opponents

Roasts refer to humorous jokes or insults made at the expense of a particular individual or group. It is a form of comedic expression that involves teasing or criticizing someone in a lighthearted or playful manner. Savage roasts can make your opponent question their existence and leave them scratching their heads, pondering what you said. You can use them to defend yourself when people attack you during an argument.

Most savage roasts
Photo: pexel.com, @andreapiacquaudio (modified by author)
Source: UGC


Some people are naturally annoying, and the only thing that can help you deal with them is a good roast. With the best savage roasts, you can win arguments against your enemy and make them think twice the next time they cross your path. Roasts are used as a sarcastic way to silence your opponent and can sometimes be entertaining, especially if you are roasting them before your friends or a group of people.

Best savage roasts

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Sometimes you should not let people pick on you in an argument without responding because they will disrespect you. When you roast your opponent, you feel confident. If you are looking for ways of how to roast someone, check below.

  • I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the b*stard and bring it back.
  • You act like how I would think vomit would act if it could.
  • I thought of you today, and it reminded me to take out the trash.
  • I’d give you a nasty look, but you already got one.
  • I'm not an astronomer, but I am pretty sure the world revolves around the sun, not you.
  • You and I go way back, and you’ve always been annoying. I mean, you even used to make your happy meal cry.
  • It’s not that you’re annoying; it’s just that I’d liken you to the human version of period cramps.
  • Are you done with all of this drama? Because I need an intermission.
  • I apologize for doing anything that made you believe I care about how you feel.
  • Most mistakes can be fixed; you are the exception that proves the rule.
  • Everyone can act foolish once, but you are violating that privilege.
  • If you’re offended by my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself.
  • You remind me of a cloud; my day becomes much brighter when you disappear.
  • You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "not now."
  • If your mum got given one piece of bad advice, it was not to swallow.
  • You're like the human version of an athlete's foot; annoying and hard to get rid of.
  • Looking at you reminded me to take my contraception. I can’t risk giving birth to someone that ugly.
  • It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
  • I’m trying to come up with an insult that’s stupid enough for you to realize, so give me a moment.
  • You're talking to me; I thought you only talked behind my back.
  • I've seen you before, but I'm sure I had to pay for admission last time.

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Brutal roasts

Brutal roasts
Photo: pexels.com, @keiraburton
Source: UGC

If sometimes you lack what to say to your opponent, don't worry because, with the following roasts, they will think twice the next time they attempt to embarrass you.

  • I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
  • Your secrets are always safe with me, and I never even listen when you tell me them.
  • So a thought crossed your mind? That must have been a long and lonely journey for you.
  • If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
  • You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
  • When I look at you, I wonder where you have been all my life… Would you mind returning there?
  • I’m sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego.
  • Laughter is the only best medicine your face must cure the world.
  • Do you think this hurts my feelings? The only thing that hurts is my eyes when I'm looking at you.
  • Watching you attempt to use all of your vocabularies in a single statement is funny.
  • Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
  • Why don't you go play in traffic?
  • I never forget a person’s face, but I’ll be happy to make an exception in your situation.
  • You should carry a plant around to replace the oxygen you waste.
  • Some people are like slinkies. They are not good for much, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
  • You must have been born on a highway because that is where more accidents happen.
  • The only reason I go with you everywhere is that I’d rather do that than kiss your ugly face goodbye.
  • I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach.
  • I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than you said.
  • I forgot that the rest of the world revolves around you. How foolish of me; my apologies.
  • When I saw your face, the only thing I would have changed was the direction I was heading in.
  • I would punch you, but I don’t want to improve the appearance of your face.
  • Accidents happen; the proof is sitting right there.

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The most savage roasts

Roasting someone
Photo: pexel.com, @rodnaeproductions
Source: UGC

If someone annoys you by being offensive, cruel or rude towards you, a savage roast is a perfect response when you want to silence them up. Roasting someone who has offended you is the best medicine you can give them.

  • Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  • Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
  • The only way you'd get hurt from exercising would be if you sprained your finger changing the channel.
  • You are proof God has a sense of humour.
  • I heard you got a job as a weatherman. Good luck trying to predict your next move.
  • I think I found your purpose in life. It is to be an organ donor.
  • You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
  • I’m sorry I upset you by calling you a h*e. I was unaware that it was a secret.
  • Amazingly, you don't allow your knowledge to stand in the way of stupidity.
  • Don’t attempt to think too much. Your stupidity might injure your brain.
  • Your parents really must have been happily married before they had you.
  • Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh, either.
  • I know people put you down, but I think you will go far personally, and I hope you stay there.
  • I am not ignoring you. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are.
  • I keep thinking you can't get any dumber, and you keep proving me wrong.
  • I'd be broke if I had a dollar for every time you said something smart.
  • Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.
  • I apologize if my forced apology sounded fake; I’ll work to improve it the next time.
  • Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
  • I'm not insulting you; I'm describing you.
  • Your bad personality is the reason I prefer animals to humans.
  • You are so unattractive that your reflection tries to walk away when you glance in the mirror.
  • I'm not saying you're ugly, but nobody wants to sleep with you because they don't want to be prosecuted for animal abuse.

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The best roasts in history

The best roasts in history
Photo: pexels.com, @astoniusferret
Source: UGC

Knowing how to roast people prepares you for what to say to negative people who always try to put you down, making you feel inferior during an argument. You can silence them with the following roasts.

  • Even though it might appear like I'm paying attention to you, I simply imagine duct tape across your lips.
  • It’s not that I don’t listen to you when you talk. It’s just that there is only so much stupid information I can process in one go.
  • You’re like the first slice of bread in a loaf. You get touched by everybody but wanted by none.
  • I believe you can achieve anything. Look around you; there are remarkably dumb people everywhere who you could aspire to be.
  • It seems your face caught fire, and somebody attempted to stop it with a hammer.
  • Feed your own ego. I’m busy.
  • I’m not stating you’re stupid, but a glowstick has a better future than you have.
  • It must be fun to wake up each morning knowing that you are that much closer to achieving your dreams of complete and utter mediocrity.
  • You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
  • You are evidence that evolution can go backwards.
  • There’s somebody out there for everybody. For you, it’s a psychiatrist.
  • If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
  • This will be the first and last roast of the night, as we’ve already used up your entire vocabulary.
  • You have no idea how much joy you may spread just by leaving the room.
  • I don't know if I should insult or congratulate you for saying something without drooling.
  • It's kind of sad what happened to your face... Oh wait, that's how it has always looked?
  • Sometimes it's better to keep your lips shut and make people think you're ignorant than to open them and clear all doubt.
  • I’ve heard a smarter statement come out in a fart.
  • Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • I don't hate you, but I would give you a high five if you drowned.
  • When you were born, the doctors probably threw you out of the window, and the window threw you back.
  • Someday, you'll go far. And I hope you stay there.
  • It’s impossible to underestimate you.
  • We were going to roast you, but it's not good for the environment to burn trash.

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When you roast someone, they learn to be careful about what they will say to you. Some people can be annoying and cruel and always say things to hurt other people's feelings. Hopefully, these savage roasts will help you to silence your opponent.

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Positive affirmations help people with anxiety by calming their nerves. You can reduce anxiety by staying confident in whatever you do and being ready for any outcome. You can also overcome the fear of anxiety with the help of positive affirmations.

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