33 common deal breakers in a relationship nobody should tolerate

33 common deal breakers in a relationship nobody should tolerate

Being in a relationship is great, especially when you are with the right person. Maintaining a healthy relationship, however, takes work, and both parties must be involved. Any relationship has its high and low moments, but it also has to have rules and limits. So what are the deal breakers in a relationship one should not tolerate?

Non negotiables in a relationship
A couple arguing. Photo: pexels.com, @keiraburton
Source: UGC

What is a deal breaker in a relationship? A deal breaker in a relationship is a behaviour or characteristic trait your potential partner has that you can't stand. Setting the rules and standards when dating is crucial if you want a working relationship. It is important to make them aware of the things you hate right from the start.

33 common deal breakers in a relationship

Dating is getting to know your potential partner before taking your relationship to the next level. You do not know many things about your partner at this stage. Below are the most common relationship deal-breakers you should look out for in a relationship.

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1. Cheating

Relationships come in many forms, and it is important to discuss how you want your relationship to be. Agree on whether you will be monogamous or polygamous and have clear boundaries regarding infidelity. For instance, you must leave if your partner breaks the rules and cheats.

2. Physical abuse

Physical abuse is one of the most common relationships deal breakers that should never be tolerated anywhere. An abusive partner enforces physical control and other manipulative tactics to harm and disrespect you. This can be fatal so walk away immediately if you can and if you can't reach out for help.

3. Insecurity

Insecurity is projected in different ways from both ends. It's a bad sign if your partner is overly insecure and doesn't trust you. On the other hand, if you do not feel secure with your partner, it's time to leave. Do not ignore these signs of insecurity because they will only make your life miserable.

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4. Keeping your relationship a secret

If you find out that your significant other has not told their friends or family you are dating, run for your life! It means they could be dating someone else or don't want to commit to you. Stop wasting your time with someone who does not have genuine feelings for you.

5. Anger issues

Anger issues are among the common relationship deal-breakers that can lead to bigger issues in a relationship. It is important to know how well your partner manages their anger. If your partner bursts out on you in public over minor issues, reconsider dating them. Do not allow your peace of mind and dignity to be disturbed.

6. Cancelling plans for no reason

If your partner is always cancelling plans with you last minute, it's a bad sign. There could be genuine reasons, but he is shady if he keeps bailing on you to hang with friends. This could signify deeper issues that need to be addressed.

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7. Lying

Lying is a serious common relationship deal breaker in any relationship. Trust is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship; it's never the same when it's broken. If your partner is constantly lying, it's not worth the stress. Make sure your doubts are valid before leaving.

8. Substance addiction

Substance abuse and addictions are common deal breakers that affect a relationship. Addictions could stem from life experiences and traumas. If your partner has an addiction and does not want to seek help, it's time to bounce.

9. Verbal and emotional abuse

Dating deal breakers
A lady screaming at the man. Photo: pexels.com, @alexgreen
Source: UGC

Abuse is not only physical, but it can also be verbal or emotional as well. While communication is important, it can also be used as a weapon to harm you. Verbal abuse is used to demean, threaten, and control one emotionally. If your partner calls you names, yells, and makes you feel unworthy, they are not worth your love.

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10. Disrespect

A healthy relationship has mutual respect between the partners. Respect brings balance between physical and mental well-being. Any relationship that doesn't have mutual respect is not worth it.

11. Stalking

Stalking is a sign of a lack of trust and insecurities. If your significant other stalks you, you need to talk about it. If they don't see any problem, then it's a big issue. People who like stalking their partners can be dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

12. Bad friends

They say you are an average of five people you hang with. Your partner's friends will allow you to understand them better. It can be frustrating if you cannot connect, respect, or interweave yourself with them. If you don't like them, it's time to rethink the union.

13. Clinginess

Individuality is very important in a healthy relationship. Everyone needs their own time and space to thrive. If you have a needy or clingy partner, it vastly limits your social life and even peace of mind. A clingy person is exhausting, and this is among the worst common deal-breakers.

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14. Religious differences

Religious beliefs are one of the top relationship deal breakers. One of the questions you can ask early on is your partner's religious preferences and affiliations. Individual religious or spiritual beliefs can make or break a relationship. If both of you cannot agree on these beliefs, it's time to call it quits, as it is a recipe for disaster.

15. Lack of commitment

It's not fair to ask for commitment immediately after you start dating. But further along, it's important to know they want to commit to you. If your partner doesn't seem committed to the relationship and isn't doing the work, let them go.

16. Stubbornness

Everyone has a personality and individuality that is unique to them. You and your partner may have different preferences, but you should compromise for each other when need be. If your significant other is stubborn and stuck in their ways, then it's a big deal breaker.

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17. High maintenance

Life is expensive, and both partners should work hard to maintain their lifestyles. If your partner is difficult to maintain and doesn't cater for the expenses, run as fast as you can. It is a deal breaker if their lifestyle costs you an arm or leg, and they do not understand when you can't afford it.

18. Selfishness

One must love themselves, but some people take selfishness too far. If you feel like your partner takes from you and never gives, it's a red flag. When dealing with a selfish narcissist, don't let them take advantage of your kindness.

19. Jealousy

Relationship deal breakers
A couple who are mad at each other. Photo: pexels.com, @shkrabaanthony
Source: UGC

Being a little jealous can be healthy as it encourages couples not to take each other for granted. However, being overly controlling and demanding your phone passwords kind of jealousy is not unhealthy. When you spot this kind of green-eyed monster, run for your dear life.

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20. Extreme personality differences

They say opposites attract but not always. The extreme difference in personalities and values could be detrimental to the union. Take time to know each other well before fully committing.

21. Lack of chemistry

Chemistry is a key ingredient for a relationship's success and is a common dating deal-breaker. Great chemistry means great s*x, which ranks pretty high when dating. If there is no spark between you and your partner, it won't work.

22. Pessimistic

Does your partner view life through a negative lens and constantly complain? Pessimism is contagious and tiring, so keep off before you get infected.

23. Workaholic

Although dating a hard worker is ideal, being a workaholic can affect your relationship. Too much work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, which is true even in a relationship. If they are always busy and have no time for you, it's a bad sign. Let them know how you feel; if they do not change, move on.

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24. Mismatched s*x drives

You may not connect well if you and your partner's s*x drive is mismatched. Asking deliberate questions about s*xual preferences, in the beginning, is important. If it doesn't match, it's a recipe for disaster in the bedroom department.

25. Hung up on their ex

Someone who is always hung up on the ex may still have feelings for them. You will know they are still stuck in the past when they talk emotionally about their ex. Don't let that slide, and leave before you get hurt.

26. Lack of vision

A person who lacks ambition is a huge turn-off. Someone who doesn't have goals and doesn't want to learn new things will be a burden to you. If your partner exhibits these signs, walk in the other direction.

27. Social media addict

Most common relationship deal breakers
A couple arguing over social media addiction. Photo: pexels.com, @keiraburton
Source: UGC

There is no one who doesn't like to feel wanted by their partner. People who spend too much time on social media do not pay attention to their partners' needs. It also shows a lack of seriousness.

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28. Being distant

Some distance from the relationship can be healthy, but too much can create a disconnect and even a breakup. Distance is physical and emotional and can be a deal breaker.

29. Not being yourself

Authenticity and comfortability are the top aspects that people look for when in potential partners. You must be your true self around your person so you can be your best self. If you notice you always pretend to be someone you are not, it was not meant to be.

30. Controlling behaviour

If your significant other is the one who always calls the shots in your life, it's a bad sign. Relationships should be a give-and-take, and everyone's opinion should be valued. A controlling person will suffocate you, so it's best to end things.

31. Feeling anxious in the relationship

Do you feel anxious whenever you think about your spouse, or do you feel good about being with them? If you are always anxious in your relationship, your gut probably tells you things are not okay.

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32. Constant fighting

Fights are normal for any couple, as no one is perfect. However, it's a deal breaker if the fights are constant and sometimes without reason. Do you feel like you and your spouse are always arguing? You know what to do!

33. Bad financial habits

Bad financial habits are one of the non-negotiables in a relationship. Finances are among the crucial pillars of healthy and successful relationships. Ensure your financial habits complement each other by discussing them early on. If your partner is bad with money and is unwilling to change, do let them drag you down with them.

Relationships are great, but life is far too short to waste with someone who isn't worth it. You should look out for the above common deal breakers in a relationship. If your partner exhibits any of them, it's time to call it quits. Leaving is easier said than done, but you will be glad you did when you find your perfect match.

READ ALSO: 10 biggest red flags in women to look out for when dating

Legit.ng published an article about red flags in women. Dating is the process of getting to know your potential partner before committing. You should be on the lookout for red flags to avoid problems in the future. Red flags indicate that you are with the wrong woman, so do not ignore them.

The excitement of dating can blind you from seeing a woman for who she really is. Therefore, staying alert for any red flags when dating is important. Some red flags are not obvious, and you can easily overlook them, while some are very obvious. Spotting them will save you a lot of problems and hurt as you can act on them in good time.

Source: Legit.ng

Naomi Karina avatar

Naomi Karina (Lifestyle writer) Naomi Karina has been a digital content writer for more than two years. She joined the Legit team in August 2022. She graduated Bachelor of Commerce from KCA University in 2012. She also holds a Higher Diploma in Human Resources from the IHRM and a Diploma in Marketing from Kenyatta University. She is a content creator who enjoys writing about various topics such as biographies, entertainment and business. In 2023, Naomi finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. She expanded her skills in 2024 by undertaking the Google News Initiative course.

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