Is it permissible for couples to view each other's text messages?

Is it permissible for couples to view each other's text messages?

Is it permissible for couples to view each other's text messages? When you start having the thought of checking your partner's phone, it indicates a sign of disloyalty between you two. A couple looks at each other's phone when they begin to feel like something has changed in the relationship and probably because of poor or even lack of communication. It could also result from feeling insecure or thinking that your partner is hiding something from you.

Going through your partner's phone
A man and a woman looking at their cell phones. Photo:, @thirdman
Source: UGC

Going through your partner’s phone to view text messages won’t solve a problem in a relationship if you feel like something has changed. However, this behaviour has become common among many couples, especially when they begin having doubts about their partner’s recent behavioural change. They start checking emails, text messages, and recent calls to justify their thoughts.

Should married couples have access to each other's phones?

It all depends on the foundation the two of you set from the beginning. If you have been letting your husband or wife access your phone, then let it always remain that way. This is because the moment you start having a problem with that, you will raise suspicion on your spouse. If you agree that having complete access is good, then they should.

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It becomes problematic when your partner begins having strange behaviour when you take their phones. If you make it a habit for your spouse to access your phone, then let nothing change because the moment that happens then, it raises the alarm, which may lead to fights and even break-ups.

Can you read your partner's texts?

No, it is not okay to read your partner’s texts. However, if they have permitted you to read it, there is no problem with that. Reading a text that is not meant for you is considered an intrusion of privacy. It will also make your lover feel like you have trust issues with them. Therefore, if a text is not meant for you, it is better not to read it.

Should couples have privacy from each other?

Yes, every individual has the right to privacy in any relationship, be it with your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife.

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Is privacy important in a relationship? Yes, it is vital. When you have privacy, it shows that you and your partner are respecting each other's boundaries. When you and your partner give each other personal space and respect boundaries, this sends the message that you trust each other to be faithful to the relationship, even in moments of solitude.

Another importance of privacy in a relationship is that it builds trust. A relationship built on trust allows both partners to connect with people outside their relationship, making your relationship healthy.

Should couples be able to look at each other's phones?

Couples look at each other's phones
A worried woman with a phone. Photo:, @alex-green
Source: UGC

No, it is not. Doing that is the same as snooping, which is unhealthy in a relationship and is regarded as a breach of trust, and usually, it ends up being unproductive. Moreover, it will make you feel like a fool after finding out nothing.

Looking at each other's phones can also cause fights in your relationship, especially if your partner finds out you have been going through their phones. It makes them feel like you do not trust them. You might also find something small in their cellphone and blow it out of proportion.

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You set your relationship back if you look through your partner's phone. This is because you are violating the trust that you both have. The fact that you don't trust your companion shows that you are not heading in the right direction with them.

Is it advisable to ask permission to look at your partner's phone? If they say yes, then do that and if they say no, then respect their decision because there might be something incriminating in the phone, and they would not wish for you to find out about it that way.

Is it ok to ask to see your girlfriend's phone?

Yes, it is okay only if she permits you to do so. If she refuses for some reason, then respect her decision because you do not own your girlfriend or her phone. And that is why each one of you has their phone. Taking your girlfriend's phone and starting to go through it when she is not around is a sign of disloyalty and lack of trust in your relationship.

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Cellphone rules for married couples

You and your partner need cell phone rules to help you build a healthy relationship that cannot be affected by cell phones. Cell phones can cause suspicions, fights and even break-ups if you do not have these rules in your relationship.

Cell phone rules for married couples
A young woman with a cell phone., @captaintaha9
Source: UGC

These rules are essential for they may help you and your partner avoid relational repercussions of managing calls and texts in ways that couples view as unacceptable or inappropriate. Some of them include the following;

  • Put your partner at ease by calling back as soon as possible when you find a missed call or text from them. Failing to do this will raise suspicion in your relationship, which might lead to fighting or even break-up.
  • When your spouse has offended you, or you are too aggravated with each other, never refuse to pick up calls when they try to contact you. Keep the line of communication open at all times so that you can find a way to work things out.
  • Avoid fights and arguments on the phone, for they are difficult to manage, and usually, they leave a terrible feeling and can negatively affect how the two of you relate.
  • After having a date and you don't live together, a man should call his woman, check on her, and tell her that you have arrived home safely. Ladies are also expected to send their man a text message and thank him for a great time.
  • If you can't reach your partner on the phone and know that they are at work or doing something, don't keep calling and texting desperately. It will make your partner detest phone contacts with you.
  • Do not make a habit of always walking away from your partner to answer phone calls. They might think that you are hiding something from them.
  • Put your cell phone away when your partner needs your undivided attention, especially in the bedroom. Do not be more intimate with your phone than your partner.
  • Keep your partner from worrying by informing them when and why you need to turn off your phone when you two are apart.
  • Avoid putting your phone in silent mode or turning it off anytime your companion is with you. This will raise suspicion.
  • Tell your partner that you will not pick up calls or reply to their messages promptly if you are busy. Inform them of what you will be doing and what time it will take. Informing them in advance prepares your partner so that they won't feel ignored.
  • Never chat with another person more than you do with your lover when online.
  • When you are on a date, put your phone away so that you can focus on the moment you are about to create with your better half.
  • Never make your lover feel like they are always to initiate communication. This will make them feel like they are forcing communication. Remember that it is your role to ensure that communication never stops.
  • Answer your lover’s phone with affectionate words like ‘Hi darling’ ‘Good morning love’ to make them feel loved and that you are happy they called you. If you start warm, you will enjoy your conversation all the way.
  • If your partner tries to reach you, but your phone is engaged, explain to them who you were talking to. And if someone calls you when you two are together, say who it was to enhance trust in your relationship.

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Going through your partner's phone
A man holding a phone in his hands. Photo:, @diimejii
Source: UGC
  • Avoid the habit of deleting your chat history, messages from your friends or anybody. Deleting will give your companion the impression that you feel guilty about something.
  • Do not do something that you wouldn't want your companion to do. For instance, liking their ex's photos or texting an ex.

Is it wrong to ask your partner to look through their phone?

No, it is not wrong. However, it leaves a bad impression on your lover. They will feel like you don't trust them, and the relationship is built on trust.

According to a clinical psychologist, Dr Samantha Rodman checking your partner's phone can also sabotage your closeness because your companion will feel like you have betrayed their trust. It can also signal deeper relationship issues that you might not be able to fix, leading to your relationship not working out.

Trust is the most critical thing in a relationship. The moment you betray your companion's trust, it may not be easy to get things back together like they were before. Respecting your companion's privacy plays a significant role in building trust. Going through your partner's phone is considered a violation of privacy, breaking the trust you both have. Therefore, it is crucial to have cellphone rules in a relationship. So, is it permissible for couples to view each other's text messages? That is up to you now.

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READ ALSO: How to get a guy’s attention over text if he is a musician? recently shared an article about getting a guy’s attention if he is a musician. If you want to have a guy's attention, flirty text messages, especially those that will make him laugh, can play a significant role in such a situation.

It is also important to consider the words you use or how you behave when around him to leave a lasting impression on him. Find out more information about getting a guy's attention if he is a musician.


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