How to kiss a girl for the first time

How to kiss a girl for the first time

Everyone wants their first kiss to be something special and memorable. Kissing always indicates the depth of your feelings, but when it is your first kiss with someone new or your first kiss in general, it is a great responsibility. Here, you will learn all the kissing tips you need to know. Find out how to kiss a girl for the first time and make her want to kiss you again!

She and he
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It is always a big deal when you are kissing someone, especially for the first time. So, it is natural that you might be feeling nervous. Before you kiss this special girl that has been on your mind since forever, you should sit down and ask yourself a couple of questions. What are your intentions with her? Do you like her for real, and want to have a future with her? Or perhaps she is just a casual fling? Also, what type of personality does she have? These questions will help you decide on how, when and under which circumstances you should kiss her.

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So, how should you kiss a girl for the first time? The general advice is just relaxing as much as you can, trying to be comfortable and confident in your intentions. However, there are a few basic tips on how to kiss a lady, and you should memorize those before your first kiss. We wish you good luck, and we hope that your beloved girl returns your affections!

How to kiss a girl for the first time: steps

These pieces of advice will help you to become more aware of the girl’s wishes and to improve your kissing skills. If you are about to kiss your girlfriend or the girl you like for the very first time, do not be nervous and check out those tips which will make you feel more at ease.

1. Is the girl interested?

Before we move on to all the kissing stuff, here is a critical point: you need to know whether the girl shows enough interest in you to perform the lip contact. Kissing is something very intimate, and the girls do not want to do it with someone who they only view as a friend. It is not advised to go for it and kiss her if you are not sure that she wants it, because there is always a chance she will be startled, and it will end awkwardly.

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The easiest way would be to ask the girl whether she is interested in you. There are a few other ways, for instance, looking at her behavior when she is around you, but there is always a chance that you will get it wrong. It is better to ask her, provided that you two are on friendly terms and she is not just a girl that you recently met.

In case she says that she is uncertain, do not pressure her into anything, and give her time to figure out her feelings. Giving her time increases your chances, as opposed to pressuring her into liking you, which might put her off you for good. If she said outright that she is not interested, then it would be better to let her go and move on. You will not make her like you, and even though it might hurt, it is a sad reality that you need to accept. In the future, you will meet a girl better suited to you.

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However, if the girl likes you back and is down for the kiss, then you are in a lucky position. The "right moment" usually happens when both parties want it, and it does not require a lot of planning. You should not stress out over the details of that kiss and worry about doing it correctly. Still, to have a successful first kiss, you need to keep some things in mind.

2. Fresh breath is important

It is quite apparent, but some people still forget about brushing their teeth before going on dates, and as a result, many first kisses just get ruined because one of the partners had bad breath. So, before you go in for kissing the girl, you have to make sure that you do not have smelly breath because disgust is the last thing you want her to feel.

So, how to avoid an awkward situation with bad breath? First of all, before kissing the girl of your dreams, make sure not to eat foods that smell, for instance, garlic, seafood, and smelly cheese, among many others. They will leave an unpleasant odor in your mouth for a long time. Also, if your girlfriend is allergic to some foods, avoid eating them for the entire day before your date.

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If you have an opportunity, then you should brush your teeth before kissing her, and not forget about rinsing your mouth and flossing your teeth. Flossing is important because it usually gives a bad smell if you do not do it regularly. If you are in a situation when you do not have a chance to refresh your breath, then you need to carry some gum or minty candies with you on every occasion so that you can maintain a good breath at any time.

Another thing to remember is that you would want to have toothpicks with you, and a small mirror for checking your teeth would also be right. It will help you avoid the situations when you are smiling at the girl, but there is something stuck between your teeth. To add on to it, if you feel like your lips are too chapped, you can bring a chapstick with you and apply it before the kiss, to soften your lips a little.

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Toothpaste and brush
Source: UGC

3. Getting privacy

The majority of people want their first kiss to be unforgettable, and this is why they avoid kissing in public places where a lot of people are around. So, kissing your girlfriend in the club stuffed with people would probably be not a good idea. Usually, before their first kiss people feel slightly awkward and tense, and being surrounded would only add up to this awkwardness. If the place you are in is not too private, there is a high chance that you will ruin the moment.

It is not always easy to find a private place, but there is still a possibility of having your first kiss when not many people are around. For example, if you hang in the same company, you can tell your friends to go ahead and get behind together with her, and perhaps sneak in a little kiss. Or it can be in a secluded area of her street when you walk her home after the date. You should look at the circumstances and trust your instincts.

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4. Finding the right atmosphere

Everyone would like the kiss to be romantic and have the right atmosphere. Ideally, this place needs to have dim lighting. Many people dream of kissing at sunset, so when you part ways, and the sun is setting down, you could try kissing her, so the moment is more magical. If you are walking at night, then the moonlight kiss also sounds quite romantic, especially under the full moon.

There are, however, a lot of private places where you can kiss. The most obvious one is your house, even though not everyone has a place of their own. So, you need to make sure that your parents or roommates will not walk on you if you still live with them. Also, kissing in the car is quite romantic. Some other opportunities for a kiss are when you are walking her home from studies or another event. Usually, in the movies, the first kisses happen this way.

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5. Making sure that this is the right moment to kiss her

Even though the location is crucial, it is not the only factor that plays a role in the quality of your kiss. You have to make sure that the timing is right, and that it would not be irrelevant or inappropriate to kiss her right now. It is not very difficult, especially when you have a good feeling of what is right and what is wrong.

For example, you could imagine a situation when your crush is very upset about something and is crying. It is essential to show a girl that you are, first and foremost, the good friend who will always be there for her and that her well-being comes first for you. However, if you shove your tongue into her mouth at this moment, it would be wildly inappropriate, and naturally, she will think that you do not care about her and are only concerned about winning her over romantically. She might note that you are not a very reliable guy and not the one who she can fully trust in her good and bad moments.

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So, the point is that kissing your girlfriend or crush would be the best when she is in a good mood or at least the neutral mood. Reading the moment is not that complicated – you should feel when she is up to it. You need to wait when she is as ready for the kiss as you are because if you try to kiss her too early, you can take her by surprise and she will back off. On the other hand, waiting too long could kill the mood.

The right place
Source: UGC

6. Getting the attention of a lady

A lot of guys neglect this step, and then have awkward moments during their first kisses. When you are trying to kiss the girl, you need to make sure that her full attention is on you, and not elsewhere. It might be a common embarrassing situation when you want to kiss the girl, and she abruptly turns her head the other way to look at something. Even if she wants to kiss you, these situations might make things tense.

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For getting attention from her, you will have to send the body language signals to her, indicating that you are about to kiss her. Some of those signals would be making eye contact with her and moving in closer joining your lips together. These ways are very easy, and there will not be a chance that she will get distracted in the most responsible moment. Rushing the moment may not end up well, but also waiting too long could make the girl lose interest. The point in getting ready for the first kiss is making the girl feel comfortable, and only this will make the moment as memorable as you imagine it.

If this is your first date with this girl, you will have to make sure that she is comfortable with kissing at the end of the date. This will usually be obvious from how freely she acts around you, and whether your communication seems to be more romantic or friendly. Some people are fine with the first kiss happening towards the end of the date, while some think that it might be a little too fast. We will give you some tips on reading the situation correctly in further points.

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7. Things to discuss

Every relationship is different, and while there are some common things on how to behave on a date, you have to remember that there is no certain correct way. However, communication is always the key to a healthy and stable relationship. That is why you and your crush need not only to feel physical attraction towards each other but also establish the emotional connection.

Imagine that you are quite experienced in dating, and have kissed a lot of people before, so naturally, you assume that your crush is the same. However, it can be possible that your crush is not the same type of person, and she has never dated anyone before you. You should make clear whether the girl is searching for a long-term relationship or just a casual fling, and if she goes on other dates. These are things that would be good to discuss before you attempt a step as serious as kissing and get emotionally invested in this relationship.

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Before kissing, you will most definitely be having casual discussions with your crush. You have to remember that the conversation will also set a mood, and influence whether a lady will want to kiss you or not. The best way to behave on a date is to be funny, charming, but also show that you can be serious and determined when needed. Complimenting her is an excellent way to win her affections, but let these compliments be genuine and come from the heart. Talking about common interests would also be nice because it will show how much you have in common. Be open and honest with the girl.

It is a huge “no” to talk to her about the other girls that you have been involved with romantically, especially on the first date, when she wants to feel special in your eyes. Just try not to mention them at all. Even comparing positively, e.g., “You are so much better than my ex-girlfriend,” would not be acceptable. The girl would like to hear why you appreciate her, and not feel like a shadow of someone from the past. So, focus on her good qualities. Avoid talking about gross things, like toilet humor and unfunny stories from the life of your friends, because this would only put her off. And, of course, avoid complaining and talking about your problems a lot. Being honest is good, but you should try to set a positive mood on your date. She is the girl you like, not your psychologist.

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She is comfortable with you
Source: UGC

8. Signs that the girl is comfortable with you

As we have already mentioned, timing matters a lot when you kiss the girl for the very first time. Planning the timing will involve reading her body language. For example, if there are definite hints that she is comfortable with being close, then kissing her might be appropriate. She could lean towards you, make extended eye contact, and often touch you.

Look on how she behaves by your side to feel the situation and avoid the unnecessary awkwardness. Do you see her smile and laugh a lot, and be wholly engaged in the conversation with you? Does she enjoy it when you give her touches and lean close to her face? Does she respond to your flirting in the same way? If these questions can be answered with “yes,” these might be the signs that she is comfortable, and you can try kissing her without a risk to be rejected.

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9. Signs that she is uncomfortable

Except this, you should look out for the opposite signs. Sometimes the date is just not going how you wanted it to, and the girl may be uncomfortable with you. This happens when she avoids the eye contact, looks pretty bored, does not respond to your flirting, and is frequently checking the phone. These are only a few signs of her general dissatisfaction. Even if she did express the interest in you, the timing for a kiss could still be not right. You should trust your guts and instincts with this. Maybe it is difficult to wait for the right moment to lean in for a kiss, but it will be better in the long run, because it will help you avoid misunderstandings and awkwardness.

10. Warming up to the kiss

Though the first place to kiss in our mind is usually lips, there are also other types of kisses. So, before kissing the girl on the lips, maybe it would make sense to try other kisses, like the forehead or cheek ones. If you and she are sitting close, then you might scoot over close to her, and this will indicate to her that you are about to give her attention. This move will instantly engage her. You can also put her arm around her if you are entirely sure that she is okay with it.

It would be a nice idea to whisper some cute things in her ear. For example, you could say that she looks beautiful tonight, or that you like her. Make sure that things you say are truly genuine, and do not sound like some overused cliché that you have told to other girls before. You would want to make this girl feel like she is incredibly special to you.

If you and the girl are both standing, then you could put your arms around her waist, or possibly put your hand on her cheek. Just do whatever feels right to you at this particular moment, with also minding the girl’s feelings, and do not worry about it too much.

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11. Getting feedback from a lady

After you have your first kiss with a girl, you could ask her opinion about it. There is nothing wrong with asking whether she liked it, and what you need to improve. Besides, different people like different kisses, so in case you kissed people before, you should know that it is not the same with every new person. You can ask the girl whether she enjoyed the experience or how you could make it better. Also, you can ask her which types of kisses she prefers.

12. Basic rules of kissing

When you kiss the girl that you like, you should go in for a kiss by slowly moving up your face towards hers. Remember that this should be done gently. If it is done too fast, you will awkwardly bump your face into hers, and both of you will end up hurt. Try to be as smooth as possible – moving all of a sudden does not sound too romantic.

Before kissing her, you need to establish eye contact, and grab her full attention. She needs to get a signal that you are going to kiss her, so she has time to react to your intentions in an according way. She could go all nervous, or she could return your desire. If it is the latter option, then go for it and kiss her.

Kissing starts from leaning towards the person and bringing your face close. It would be thoughtful of you to give her a second so she can pull back in case she changed her mind, or it could give her a chance to process the situation. If she is still expecting you to kiss her, then there is no way back for you, and you should do it.

Usually, when people kiss someone, no matter if it is a relative kiss on the cheek or a romantic kiss on the lips, they tend to make those sounds of smooching. However, when you kiss a girl, you should be tender and not make any loud smooching sounds, as it may seem a little disgusting. When you kiss her for the first time, you should be gentle and start slow, with a light kiss where your lips touch hers a little. Avoid the sloppy kisses if this is your first time because the first kiss is always testing the waters.

13. French kiss

If this is the first time you kiss her, it would probably be better to avoid French kissing, as in kissing with tongues. However, if you clarified it with her and she expressed the desire to try it, it can be acceptable. If you would like to French kiss the girl, the best way would be running your tongue softly over her lower lips, making her part her lips and accept your kiss.

14. Using the body as well

During the kiss, you are usually concentrated on the lips, but there is also the rest of the body. So, you probably need to use your hands for something, as there are a lot of options. For example, you can run your fingers through her hair, put your hands on her shoulders, or place them around her waist. Just remember not to go overboard with the hands and behave appropriately, especially if this is your very first kiss.

15. Pausing to breathe

If you and your crush have mastered the art of kissing, and you are frequently doing the make-out sessions, then you need to take some breaks for breathing. This would give you both a chance to refresh. Also, kissing often leads elsewhere, but you have to remember that sometimes rushing is not good. Perhaps your girlfriend is not comfortable with it, and she wants to take things slowly. Take her desires into account.

Kissing couple
Source: UGC

It was a useful guide on kissing a girl for the first time. Some final words will be that there is never a right way to kiss someone, so you should not stress a lot over this. Just keep in mind some usual things: make sure your breath is not bad, and that she is comfortable with kissing you. If she does not want to, just let it go and do not force a girl into kissing. But if she does, remember that practice makes perfect, and it is always okay if the first kiss comes off slightly clumsy. You should do your best and have fun, and if she is truly your soulmate, you will gradually get better at kissing.

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Regina Stets avatar

Regina Stets (SEO writer) Regina has been working as a reporter since 2017. She has written numerous publications on various topics, including celebrities, lifestyle, news, and many more. In addition to writing, she is also an English teacher, translator and a volunteer. Her interests are art, psychology and travelling, and she believes in equal rights for everyone.