How to talk to a girl for the first time?

How to talk to a girl for the first time?

A lot of guys often ask the same question: How to talk to a girl for the first time? Here is some advice that can help you. Follow them, and you will succeed in this delicate situation.

A couple is talking

Your dream is to create a long lasting relationship with a girl, based on love and respect. The first step is to begin communication.

If you want to start a conversation with a girl, first of all, you should find out if she notices you or not.

For example, you regularly see one girl at a business lunch. If she has already noticed you, then for sure, she has already formed an impression about you. The main problem is that most guys do not understand how to pass through that filter put up by the girl before approaching her.

A man and a girl try to communicate

What can you do in this case? How to start a conversation with a girl?

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If she sees you looking constantly ungroomed, in crumpled clothes and dirty shoes, this isn’t attractive. You should look neat, pay a little more attention to what you wear and consider your appearance. When you look good, you will feel how fast your confidence grows during that first conversation with the girl.

Body language

When a girl is looking at a guy, she is to read him and get an idea of his personality. She will get a feel for your confidence level, for example. She notices your gait, gestures, and overall looks. Let' say you are sitting somewhere in front of her and looking in her direction. She looks up and, as most guys do, you immediately take your eyes off or switch them to your phone. This tells her you have a low self esteem and it's not attractive. You look like don’t know what you are doing and what to say to a girl. She will certainly see you as a wimp.

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For instance, you are at that business lunch or at the student canteen, make sure you find a strategic spot to sit. Your table should be in a place that is comfortable and you should be able to see almost every one in the room. This way, you do not need to resort to awkward body-positioning just to keep an eye on the lady.

Confidential communication


It will look good if, before the beginning of a conversation, the girl sees how natural and unpretentious you are when you communicate with other people. It can be a staff at the cafe, an occasional passer-by, a colleague or even just your best friend. It's even cooler if she sees how you communicate with other girls! It's like a switch in her head, and she thinks that there's something in you, since other girls respond well to you. It could be seeing you around female friends or colleagues. It does not necessarily have to be new girls.

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Positive attitude

It is important that you are in a good mood and smiling. There is no better thing to set the mood for that first conversation than with a smile and an overall pleasant demeanor. So, if you are not in a good mood then, it's better to stay away as approaching her will certainly bring about a negative reaction on her end.

Conversation in cafe

Non-verbal contact

If you're going to start a conversation with a girl who has not seen you before, then it's also important for you to get her attention. You can do this through a non-verbal contact. For example, you walk down the street and notice an attractive girl in front of you. You look at her, and she looks back at you. You should initiate a non-verbal contact before you talk to the girl and you will not be have problems when it comes to getting acquainted with her.

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The goal is that the girl should not be frightened. She should know beforehand with whom she is about to start a conversation. Why is this so important? Girls are more wary than men and are afraid of strangers by default. Their instinct of self-preservation will come to play. But if a nice-looking, smiling, confident guy comes up to her she might have already noticed him. The girl will get a read of his personality and having that first conversation with her would be quite easy to do.

Non-verbal contact

Instead of just approaching the girl and saying: "Oh, stop, hello!" Attract her attention through non-verbal contact. In this situation, the first thing she does is to look at you. She thinks "who are you?" with an appraising look and then she begins to talk.

Now let's talk about the phrases for starting a conversation with a girl. Some special phrases are called "openers". They are good for the starting a conversation with an unknown girl. Below are the main options for starting the first conversation with a girl. The law of attraction works here.

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Top five ways to start the first conversation with a girl

Warm communication

The first method is a short witty phrase after a few moments of smiling

How to start a conversation with a girl in a cafe? It's simple! For example, you sit opposite each other at the table. You might have smiled at each other. When it comes to women, the phrase, "I look where I want." works here. This means, if a girl is attracted to you, you will catch her glancing in your direction again and again. She cannot help it. You can then go for an interesting opener like: "I would like to talk to you. Or we could just spend the whole day just winking at each other." Be sure to accompany this with a charming smile.

A girl in the bus

Another example - you are on a train or on a bus, and a nice-looking girl is sitting opposite you. You can start by "winking” at the girl," she notices you and you are golden - that is already a non-verbal contact. You can flirt a little. When you do get the chance to talk to her, you can start by saying "Listen, I was wondering... Do I like you more or do you like me more?"

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Just pay attention to how to say these phrases. You tell her a joke and immediately expect a reaction. You are left "hanging" in this situation. She sees you are waiting for a funny, positive response, and she has no choice, she forces a laugh. If she looks uncomfortable or uninterested, no need to push it as you might further annoy her.

A warm talking between a man and woman

The second way is to find a more adequate start to a conversation

In our society it is normal to come up to a person and ask for the time, for example. It is called "social adequacy." You can go up to a beautiful girl and maybe say: "Could you please tell me where (one Street Name) is? It seems to me I have lost the way. I parked my car there.” She might then reply by giving you a direction.

The next thing to do is to move to a more personal topic. Otherwise, your acquaintance will remain only on an adequate communication level. For example, you ask: "Where is the supermarket?" The girl is already going you the right direction. If you are going the same way, you can continue the conversation: "You are going in this direction too? Great! Is it okay if we go together? " Don't forget to be polite.

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As you have already understood, socially adequate methods use culturally appropriate phrases:

• "Where is the new gadget store around here?"

• "How can I get to the supermarket?"

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Problems of conversation

Be sure to stay polite and watch for her reactions. Use your opener well as she is less likely to turn on you if you begin to initiate a deeper conversation.

A girl at a fountain

Possible situation

You can start a conversation with a girl like this:

- Could you tell me where the fountain is? People usually hang out there from what I was told. A friend told me he was here last week and said that he spotted a beautiful girl. Apparently, this is the fountain because I can see the beautiful girl?

She answers:

- There is no fountain around here. But you can find one on (Name) road.

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Then you can say:

- I would love to get to know you, by the way.

This phrase is easier to say, when you have already started a conversation, than if you say it immediately you meet each other.

Good communication

Think of such approaches as a way to test a girl's potential interest in you. It should not be perceived as you trying to deceive the girl. Deception is wrong, it leads to guilt and dishonesty, but testing of interest is quite another matter. If you do not like the girl or she is married or maybe waiting for a guy, and she is just in a hurry, or not in the mood, then you will not feel too embarrassed.

The third way is to know her opinion

It can work well when you come up to a girl and ask her for advice or ask what she thinks about something. This is good because when a girl answers, she gives you a bunch of information for further conversation.

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Let's use this example

- Tell me, do you know a good eatery here? I am looking for somewhere to chill with my friend, and I am looking for a cozy place.

The girl advises something.

- And why do you recommend this eatery? What are its advantages?

She answers again, and you already have a dialogue.


What can you do if the conversation fades? You can close the conversation by asking for her phone number. Or if you are quick on your feet, you can transfer the topic into a new one and continue the communication.

The fourth way is context

Context is very powerful thing. It is the most natural form acquaintance. Context unites you and the girl. For example, you see a performance of street dancers who have laid a carpet right on the floor on a street, and the girl is also looking. You have a context. You can stand beside her and watch the same view. You can start the first conversation by saying something about this event. Be confident. Fear is not your friend in this case.

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A girl buys an ice-cream

You are standing in line, for example, for an ice cream. And she stands near you. You have a context - you are standing in line. You can ask what kind of ice cream is better. In a nightclub, you can start the first conversation like this:

• "Where is the chillout spot?"

• At the bar: "Listen, do you have a menu?"

Another possible and very romantic situation, you are walking down the street and want to start talking with a cute girl ahead of you. It starts raining. You have an umbrella, and the girl has none. You: "Listen, are you cold? Come here, under my umbrella."

Communication in a restaurant

The fifth way is a direct start of conversation

You can also get straight to the point. You come up to her and say:

• "Hello, I like your smile. Let's get to know each other?"

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It is simple and straightforward - no gimmick needed.

In general, this style is for the certain types guys. They are sure that the girl is feeling them. Because if you directly come up with the girl and looks like your knees are shaking: "Listen, I like you so much ..." It looks like begging. It's bad. Naturally, she will ignore you.

These were the top five ways to start the first conversation with a girl. Please don’t forget about compliments. Girls like romance. Good luck!

READ ALSO: How to ask a girl out?


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