What does love feel like, and how do you distinguish it from infatuation? This is a popular question as many people who are confused about what true love is have confused it for infatuation. As a result of this, they have fallen prey to circumstances they did not plan for.
Disappointment, pretence, dissatisfaction, complaints and heartbreaks, among others, are usually the effects of infatuation caused when people cannot correctly categorise their feelings. Before you enter into any relationship, what does being in love feel like?
What is infatuation?
Infatuation starts as an intense passion, but it is often short-lived. Like intoxication, this ‘crush’ makes you act foolishly as you develop strong admiration for someone. Everything about infatuation is physical.
People who are infatuated say things like, "his smile is so charming," "he looks like Tom Hanks… I think I’m in love," and so on.
The fact that someone is naturally attracted to you or you get sexually aroused when they are around you does not fit into any of the signs you’re in love. So, how do you know you love someone? When you understand the signs of infatuation, it will help you to separate the physical desire from the deep connection.
What are the signs of infatuation?
Infatuation sparks different emotions. There are also physical signs that tell if you are infatuated or not.
Emotional signs of infatuation
- You become selfish
Being selfish is a significant emotional trait in infatuation. You know you are infatuating on someone when you want them to answer to your needs always. It is always about, "what’s in it for me?" When there is nothing left for you, the emotion goes. In short, your spouse's needs are irrelevant as long as you are satisfied.
- You are more concerned about their physical attributes
Contrary to popular opinion, love does not consider flowery attributes like the colour of the eyeballs, the shape of the body, or the type of nose.
However, being in love means you are seeking a deeper connection and not necessarily physical qualities. Once you are always conscious of your spouse’s looks and the way they act, it can mean you are infatuated.
- You get jealous all the time
Infatuated people are often possessive since their needs matter a lot to them. Because you want your spouse whenever you need him/her, you become jealous of anything or anyone that tries to steal their attention.
True love is built, and it does not just appear from thin air. With such passion, it is impossible to get jealous and irrational.
Physical signs of infatuation
Apart from the emotional signs, there are also some physical signs that can help you to spot traits of infatuation. They are explained below:
- Cloudy judgments (blinded to flaws)
Infatuation often raises the level of raging dopamine in the brain. This can affect the mind and body most times, resulting in cloudy judgments. Cloudy judgments make you irrational.
Infatuated people tend to forget things every time, probably because they fantasise a lot. Their preoccupied mind blinds their tunnel vision, which helps you remember things quickly. So, how do you know you’re in love? People who are in love are always interested in each other and are attentive to each other's needs.
- Feeling insecure
What is love for you if it is not to feel safe and secure with someone. Yet, the heightened anxiety caused by infatuation will continuously make you worry about their feeling of affection for you. Other traits like jealousy and selfishness make it difficult for the infatuated person to feel secure.
Infatuation leads to fatigue due to heightened anxiety. It is the intense feeling that makes you sleepless at night and daydream about your spouse. You fantasise about your meeting them and then worry about everything they say. The worries and fantasies result in constant weariness.
What does love feel like, and how does it differ from infatuation?
The debate between love and infatuation has been around for years. Although the two emotions are intense, a question of concern on infatuation has always been whether to call it love or not.
When you claim to have developed feelings for someone, especially when you are meeting them for the first time, you need to ask yourself first, "is it love or infatuation?" before you any further step.
You should bear in mind that the differences between the two emotions are crystal clear. Infatuation is an instant emotion while adoration develops gradually.
Sometimes, it is easier to know you are in love when you understand the signs that show up when you are not in love. Among other things, when that feeling of affection is no longer there, you find out that your heart no longer races after the person.
Apart from that, you feel repelled, and the desire to be around them is no longer there. At other times, the person becomes irritating to you, and every moment you spend around them looks like a waste.
With those being said, how do you know you love someone or how do you know when you love someone? Most time, if not all the time, it begins with friendship. Then, it grows deeper with understanding and trust.
Infatuation starts as an intense feeling, and then it becomes an obsession, which leads to jealousy and irrational behaviours.
What does love feel like?
How do you know you're in love? Some of the various signs of love that you should watch out for include the following:
1. You find pleasure looking at them always
Eye contact is a sign that you are fixated on something. So, if you frequently find yourself staring at your partner, it can be one of the signs you're in love. You know why? It has been found out that when strangers lock eyes, they feel a stronger romantic connection.
2. Their thoughts fill your heart
It is not strange that you find it hard to get your mind off the person you adore. When you fall in love with somebody, your brain releases a hormone called phenylethylamine. The hormone is also known to be a love drug. The implication is that you start to feel infatuated with the person.
3. Their happiness becomes your concern
For the person you have a strong emotional feeling for, you tend to protect them, and at all costs, you make sure that nothing harms them. Without any struggle or being compelled, you can, with joy, go out of your way to make your partner happier and ensure life is easier for them.
4. You love their quirks
It is possible that when you just meet someone, you easily pick on little things that distinguish them from others. Interestingly, some of these little things can make you feel a deeper love for them. Rather than being judgemental about their characters, you appreciate their uniqueness.
5. Your heart rate and theirs synchronises
Couples' hearts who are in love tend to beat at the same rate. While you may not be able to tell the occurrence of this, the intense feeling of connection is there.
What does it feel like to be in love?
True love does not bother about material things, and it embraces imperfections. When you are in love, you appreciate and admire your partner for who they are and also feel motivated to be around them all the time. Your relationship is no longer based on physical attraction.
But then, what is love to you? Or still, what does being in love feel like to you? The feeling of compassion, generosity, and care are some of the things that characterise what you do. Additionally, the wrong acts of the person do not count as much as what they do right before you.
As you want the best for yourself, one of the ways to portray real affection to your partner is to have similar thoughts for them. Interestingly also, there is a connection beyond what you can explain between the two of you. You appreciate each other's company and do not need more than to be together.
What does it mean to be in love for a man?
It is noteworthy that how men express love is different from how women do theirs. So, what does being in love feel like for a man? Primarily, when their women hug, kiss, smile, and praise them, they often feel adored.
Sexuality is another sign that cannot be overruled in men's expression of love. As against women who need an emotional connection before they can be sexually connected, most men feel sexually connected before any emotional connection can take place.
How do you test a guy to see if he really loves you?
His actions are the first things you should look out for. A guy who truly loves you will treat you with respect. What matters to you will be of importance to him as well.
You may also need to ask yourself: what are the little things that matter which he does, and how well is he willing to step out of his comfort zone to satisfy you? These are some of the things you should watch out for before you conclude whether he is real or only pretending.
How to describe love to someone you have deep feelings for
Having a deep feeling for someone is one thing and being able to express it so that the other person understands your intentions is another thing. Therefore, how do you explain to someone how much you love them?
- Let them know how much you appreciate them;
- Make them know the impact their presence has made on your life;
- Explain to them that you appreciate their uniqueness;
- Call to check on them and send short messages from time to time;
- Spend time with them and share personal issues with together;
- Make them feel secure around you.
How do you know you're in love test
Sometimes, it can be challenging to differentiate between real love and mere feeling. If you find yourself in a state of doubt, if you answer these questions sincerely, you should be able to tell if you are genuinely in love.
- Do you enjoy spending a lot of time with this person?
- When you 'argue,' are you quick to compromise or let things slide?
- Can this person do no wrong?
- Have you recently broken up with someone else, like within the last 1-2 years?
- Are you over your ex?
- What is the best feature of the person?
- If this person asked you to move in together, what would you say?
- Do you think about this person often?
- Do you lust after this person more than you think about committing to them?
- Do you like everything about this person, even the flaws?
- When you argue, do you get disrespectful, stern, or do you become a pushover?
- Are you hesitant about being in a relationship?
- Can you see yourself getting super serious with the person?
- Are you at an age where marriage is not a far-off, distant dream?
- How would you prefer someone to show you affection?
- How do you typically show affection to another person?
- Have you been in head-over-heels in love before, and gotten your heart broken?
- Have you known this person for at least a year?
- Are you currently dating the person?
- Can you firmly say you and this person would do anything for each other? You both support each other, cheer each other on, celebrate each other's successes?
- Do you enjoy doing nice things for this person once in a while or for no special reason?
- Even on a terrible day, does seeing this person make you feel better?
- Does this person feel like home?
- If this person were to leave your life right now, without saying a word, would you be depressed?
- Have you built a life with this person? And if so, is that life good? Is it everything you need and want?
- If this person were to change their best physical feature, would you still be interested?
- Is this person the best you've ever met? Do you feel like if you don't act now, you may not find someone else as good or nice?
- Do you often stress over the possibility of not loving this person?
- If someone else came along in your life right now, would you leave this person? Would you be tempted to cheat?
How soon is too soon to say 'I love you'?
When you are not sure if you and your partner have mutual feelings, it can be intimidating confessing how you feel about them.
While there are different opinions about this, some people believe that confessing your feeling should not be your first concern but seeking to know the person first.
A quick poll conducted on Twitter revealed that 12% prefer to hold off between three to six months, while 41% are of the opinion that saying it within a week is too soon.
Understanding the fact that every relationship is unique cannot be overruled, however, some of the ways to know if it is time to drop the three big words include the following:
1. When you feel a mutual feeling between both of you
Love is like a flame, and no matter how long you cover it, a time comes when it will reveal itself. So, if you want to know if the person shares the same feeling you have for them, pay attention to the signs that they are putting off to determine.
If you sense that the other person is devoted and committed, it can be a good sign. But if the relationship appears casual or the other person seems not to be committed, then you should know that your feelings are not likely the same.
2. When you feel like you need to free your feelings
Even though it is not wrong to tell your partner how you feel about them, experts have also warned that care must be taken in expressing yours to someone you just met. You should also be careful about how you say it if you have only started dating a few weeks.
If you are asked, "What does love feel like?" you should be able to give a succinct answer. You should also be able to differentiate it from infatuation.