Most of us have probably come across bald men. They could be our fathers, brothers, close relatives, or even our friends. There are plenty of bald jokes you can tease them with. In the long run, the two of you will laugh and bond more. However, understand the nature of your friends first before using some jokes on them.
Do you have friends with receding hairlines whom you would love to tease? There are several jokes you can use on them. Ensure that they are in the mood to be teased before you can do so, lest you will lose friends.
There are numerous bald man jokes you can use. Some of these bald head jokes are sensitive and, therefore, you should be careful when using them. Check out some of them:
- I am not saying my friend's losing his hair, but lice are starting to picket about deforestation.
- People with hairless heads have problems. You cannot pretend that the hair you find in food is your own.
- What did a guy with a hairless head say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I will never part with the comb.
- I got my father's weak chin, receding hairline, and a big, hook nose. It was the strangest will reading I have ever attended.
- What if all bareheaded and bearded people really just have hair cut upside down?
- His head is brighter than my future.
- When bald people wash their face, how far up do they go?
- What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hairline.
- What do you call lice on a hairless head of a man? Homeless.
- When did the guy with a hairless head leave the wig shop without a wig? Because he forgot toupee.
- The best thing about being tall and bald is that people just think you are tall.
- You are so bare. When you get a shower, you get brainwashed.
- You are so bare when you wear a turtle neck; you look like roll-on deodorant!
- Your head is so hairless that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken c**dom
- You're so bare. I can rub your head to see into the future.
- Your hairline's so far back you need binoculars to see it.
- My friend's hairline did not fall out. It fell down.
- My friend is having a no hair day.
- Women in my focus group say a bald-headed man is trustworthy. He has nothing to hide.
- What do you call it when a person shaves their head bald to blend in with cancer patients? Chemoflage.
- Your mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
- You are so bald, the reflection of your head is blinding people in India.
- Don't waste money on hair restorer. Just paint a series of little rabbits on your bald head. From a distance, they look like hares.
- What's the difference between a monkey, an orphan, a prince, and Bald Bill? A monkey has a hairy parent, an orphan has nary a parent, a prince is an heir apparent, and Bald Bill has no hair apparently.
- You're so bald; the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
- Doctor, doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in? Yes, here is a paper bag!
- Teacher: I see you don't cut your hair any longer. Fred: No sir, I cut it shorter.
- After accepting an invitation to dance with Bald Bill, a young woman wanted to lighten the mood and said, "Honey, God was good to you! He gave you a handsome face and room for another one.
Funny bald jokes
Sometimes bald people joke about their heads. There are so many reasons for doing so. They could do it purposely for fun or to conceal shame. Some of these bald men jokes are hilarious.
- If I ever start to go bald, I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head… From a distance, it would look like a hare.
- My wife is leaving me because I'm going bald. I'm not bothered though. It's hair loss.
- I walked into a barbershop, as I entered; I thought to myself, "What am I doing hair?"
- Why don't bald people use keys? Because they don't have any locks.
- I wouldn't say I was going bald, but... When I asked my barber to cut my hair, he replied, "Which one?"
- Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there is your diamond in the rough.
- With a body like this, who needs hair?
- I'm not saying you are going bald, but you'll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
- Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
- After years of being bare, the idea of hair doesn't sound too bad. It's starting to grow on me.
- I am too sexy for my hairline.
- There are no bald people; there are only gingers with initiatives.
- My friend's been losing his hair and is really insecure about it, so I suggested he should get a transplant. He didn't go for it though - he thought he'd look stupid with a kidney on his head.
- You are so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
- Your profile says you have a lot of dark wavy hair. Oh! I do, it is on my back.
- Getting bald isn't about losing hair, it is about getting more head.
- You are so bare. Bob Hope would refer to you as 'grandpa.'
- Imagine having a head which resembles a brand new pot!
- Only a man with an extended forehead wakes up looking good.
Bald jokes one liners
Some of these bald guy jokes can be delivered in single sentences, and thus the name bald people jokes one liner. Discover some of them
- With a body like this, who needs hair!
- Beauty is only skin deep... I guess that's why you have hair.
- Be careful when you rub it; I get taller.
- Most men use their testosterone to grow hair; bald men put it to better use.
- Yea, it is shiny, and if you look closely you can even see the reflection of your ugly a**
- My wife says that it's a solar panel for my love machine.
- Did you know that hair is really dead? I guess that means your head is a corpse.
- How can you avoid falling hair? Get out of the way.
These are some of the fantastic bald jokes you can use on your bald friends. You can share them with other friends as well.