100+ stupid jokes and puns that will make your day brighter

100+ stupid jokes and puns that will make your day brighter

Do you ever wonder why stupid jokes are so popular? Well, this is because they are so terrible that you cannot help yourself but laugh. In some way, the awfulness of the joke becomes too much that it simply translates to laughter.

stupid jokes
Optimistic young black female having fun in a yellow studio. Photo: EVG Culture (modified by author)
Source: UGC

When every self-respecting part of your brain is rejecting the cringey jokes, resist holding yourself back and enjoy.

20 stupid jokes everybody will love

Dive right in for the best of the worst!

  • Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
  • What did the right eye say to the left eye? Honestly, between you and me, something smells.
  • To be frank, I would have to change my name.
  • What is the best thing about Switzerland? I do not know, but its flag is a big plus!
  • The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
  • I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
  • A communist joke isn’t funny… unless everyone gets it.
  • Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it is pointless!
  • What do you call a broken can opener? A can’t opener.
  • The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  • Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That is for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.
  • I like to spend every day as if it is my last. Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.
  • What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  • If people say they just love the smell of books, I always want to pull them aside and ask, To be clear, do you know how reading works?
  • Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he could not see that well!
  • A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank goodness it was a soft drink.
  • What is blue and not very heavy? Light blue.
  • You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

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Stupid joke of the day

  • I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

20 dumb jokes people cannot help but laugh at

dumb jokes
Women Sitting On A Couch. Photo: PICHA Stock
Source: UGC

Get ready to roll your eyes, scoff, and eventually burst into laughter.

  • What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
  • Just because you cannot dance does not mean you should not dance- alcohol to people.
  • My best friend always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator. I guess we are raised differently.
  • What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
  • If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? Because it was too tired.
  • My wife keeps telling me that I am the cheapest person she has ever met in her life. I am not buying it.
  • Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.
  • What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
  • Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
  • Ladies, if he cannot appreciate your fruit jokes… You need to let that mango.
  • I am thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it is only holding me back.
  • There is nothing more awkward than the moment you realize you are getting a double-cheek kiss.
  • Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they could spend years at C.
  • I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So, he went out and bought a present for my mother.
  • I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
  • Why did the woman go on a date with the mushroom? Because he was a fun-ghi.
  • My wife thinks I do not respect her privacy enough. At least, that is what it says in her diary.
  • Do not worry if you miss a gym session. Everything will work out.
  • I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

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Dumb joke of the day

  • What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

20 lame jokes you and your friends will love

lame jokes
Photo of People Laughing. Photo: nappy
Source: UGC

Let loose and have a good laugh today!

  • What is the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? “Oops!”
  • Why are chemists great at solving problems? Because they have all of the solutions!
  • Want to hear a joke about construction? I am still working on it.
  • Why did the coffee call the police? It got mugged!
  • I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
  • What kind of tea is the hardest to swallow? Reality.
  • What is the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
  • The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
  • I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.
  • Why are there fences in cemeteries? Because everyone is always dying to get in.
  • What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
  • Why did the doughnut go to the dentist? To get a filling.
  • I would tell you a joke about perforated paper, but it is tear-able.
  • Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
  • What did one wall say to the other? Meet me at the corner!
  • Why don’t scientists trust Atoms? They make up everything.
  • My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
  • Why are groups of fish so smart? Because they travel in schools.
  • I have many jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, none of them work.
  • Why did the toilet paper roll downhill? To get to the bottom.

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20 of the best stupid puns

stupid puns
Cheerful black male entrepreneur talking on smartphone in summer café. Photo: Andrea Piacquadio
Source: UGC

Which are the best stupid puns today? Worry no more as this is a compilation of nothing but the best!

  • The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It does not make any cents!
  • My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!
  • Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
  • Were you there when the TV repairman got married? The reception was excellent.
  • I am only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I do not know Y.
  • What does a spy do when he gets cold? He goes undercover.
  • Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, ‘What is your favourite kind of music?’ The other says, ‘I am a big metal fan.’
  • Why does lightning shock people? Because it does not know how to conduct itself.
  • 6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.
  • How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psychopath.
  • I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
  • Why did the little boy sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper.
  • A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
  • I cannot believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  • I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. It turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
  • When she saw her first strands of grey, she thought she would dye.
  • What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no sea.

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20 stupid jokes for kids

stupid jokes for kids
Happy Family Smiling. Photo: Ketut Subiyanto
Source: UGC

What could possibly be sweeter than the sound of a child’s laughter? If you want to make a new kid best friend, here are some jokes that will make you win the little one’s heart.

  • What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around, and I will go ahead.
  • Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he is always spotted!
  • How do you talk to giants? Using big words!
  • How do mountains stay warm in winter? Snowcaps.
  • What time should you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
  • What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
  • Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all its problems.
  • What is a witch’s favourite subject in school? Spelling!
  • What did one firefly say to the other? You glow girl!
  • Why is Santa always so happy? He likes to live in the present!
  • What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  • Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? Because she is always running away from the ball.
  • What is a robot’s favourite snack? Computer chips.
  • What are the two things you cannot have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
  • What is orange and sounds like a parrot. A carrot.
  • Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
  • What do you call an old snowman? Water.
  • What did one penny say to another penny? We make cents.
  • What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  • Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? For tocking too much.

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20 cringy jokes that will still make you and your friends chuckle

cringy jokes
Shallow Photography on Woman Sitting on Chair. Photo: Brit
Source: UGC

Here are some jokes you can share with your loved ones and watch them cringe.

  • Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
  • Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
  • What did the zebra say the first time he saw a piano? ‘Dad?’
  • I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I do not know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
  • Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  • Why are colds bad criminals? Because they are easy to catch.
  • I do not trust stairs. They are always up to something.
  • What is the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike? Attire!
  • What do you call a man who cannot stand? Neil.
  • I want a job cleaning mirrors. It is something I can really see myself doing.
  • What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
  • My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So, I packed up my stuff and right.
  • What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick!
  • What do you call a factory that sells generally decent goods? A satisfactory.
  • What did the teacher do with the student’s report on cheese? She grated it.
  • How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like you are nuts.
  • How do you organize a space-themed party? You planet.
  • Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
  • What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.
  • I had a neck brace fitted years ago, and I have never looked back ever since.

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Hilarious Christmas jokes

stupid joke of the day
Cheerful black family enjoying Christmas preparation. Photo: Any Lane
Source: UGC

Here are a few Christmas jokes to brighten up your Christmas mood, as well as that of your loved ones.

  • Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
  • What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just cannot beat it!
  • In what year does New Year’s come before Christmas? Every year!
  • What is a vegan’s favourite Christmas carol? Soy to the World!
  • Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So that he can ho-ho-ho.

Reading or telling stupid jokes are some of the best ways to create laughter. Whenever you feel like you or your loved ones need a good laugh, you now know what to do.

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