How to apologize to someone you hurt deeply

How to apologize to someone you hurt deeply

When you have hurt someone, it is usually hard to admit to your mistakes and say sorry to this person. No matter if it is a friend, family member, or someone you love romantically, it is still very hard to redeem yourself in the eyes of this person. Here is an article which will probably help you to understand how to say sorry and show you how to apologize to someone you hurt deeply.

How to apologize to someone you hurt deeply

How to apologize to the person you hurt: the complete guide

Apologizing can be really difficult, and many of us have experienced it first-hand by getting into an awkward situation where you hurt someone’s feelings. Most of us just find ourselves unable to say a single word when it comes to sincere apologies, especially if this person really means a lot to us and we do not want to lose them. If things between you have become worse, it is essential that you own up to your actions and offer a genuine apology to this person.

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In this article, we have compiled some ways to apologize to the person who means a lot to you. No matter if it is a face-to-face apology, a gift, or an apology message, this person will appreciate the fact that you admitted your mistake and are trying to make amends with them. So, here is a list of ways in which you can make it up to someone you hurt.


1. Simple apologizing

Many people lose someone because of their pride. Even if they hurt their beloved person and know that they are in the wrong, they are just struggling to admit their mistakes out loud. It is important that you overcome your fears and apologize as soon as possible because with every passing day, the chances that this person forgives you are getting lower. Of course, it is important to give them space for a few days in case you really hurt them very deeply, but later, you should offer your apologies, so that the person knows you mean it.

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When you are apologizing to someone, it would not be enough just to say that you are sorry, or give some empty promises. If this person is important for you, you should genuinely let them know that this will not repeat again, and you are making efforts to change. Asking forgiveness means admitting what you have done wrong, and including the “but you…”, listing things that the person has done to you in the past, is not acceptable here. If both sides have done wrong, and you are both mature people, you will be able to talk it out in a polite and civilized conversation later.

An apology also depends on the situation. You should remember all the people who have ever hurt you, and think what you would want them to do in order to make it up to you. This is probably what your friend/family member/partner wants the most from you. Once you have put your apology into words, you should really try for the situation not to repeat again, for the person to see and appreciate your efforts. Remember the simple truth – you should act the same way towards people as you want them to act towards yourself.

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2. Sending a meaningful gift

In most cases, people send a bouquet of flowers to the person they hurt. However, in most situations, it is a very cliché gift, which will most definitely not make amends between you and possibly irritate them even more. For your apology to mean something, you should give this person a gift with a meaning. Of course, flowers can be meaningful, but this could be acceptable only if you know the person’s favorite kind of flowers.

Some great apology gifts could be candy and cards. But you have to give them meaning, too. For instance, give the person the type of candy that they like the most or a personalized card. When you are coming up with a gift, take into account this person’s past words and actions, and try to think of something that would definitely touch them. We all love when someone listens to us and cares about our interests, hobbies, and feelings.

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Two upset people

3. Apologizing with your actions

The common truth says that actions speak louder than words. So, to make up for your previous mistakes, you need to think twice about your actions. Apology gift is the first step to making up with the person. If you see that your friend/family member/partner is warming up to you again, you can move to the grand gestures to show your appreciation. For instance, a good idea would be preparing a dinner on your own, combined with the beautiful tablecloth, warm candles, and self-made meals. It will touch the person much more than taking them to a fancy restaurant because it shows that you actually made effort.

You could also take the person somewhere where you definitely had a good time in the past, or where you have been planning to go for a long time. Visiting such a place will rekindle your mutual feelings and make you closer. Basically, the best way to apologize is to put thought and effort into your apology, to convince the person that you are serious about it.

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4. Having a conversation

When you are in a relationship, no matter if it is a romantic, friendly or family one, the calm and mature conversations are the key to resolving every misunderstanding. The conversation is much deeper than just saying “I’m sorry” because if you both keep it reserved and civilized, you can discuss the problems in your relationship, voice the concerns, and speak about preventing this thing from happening again.

To initiate a good apology conversation, you should go somewhere neutral, because having it at someone’s house or in the car will make this conversation more complicated. You can either feel trapped, or one of you can leave the house too easily when things get difficult. On the other hand, the neutral setting, like a silent park or a private restaurant table could set the right mood for the conversation. Talking about your problems without stress or hurting will help you both to move on. If the two of you really mean something to each other, you will get past all the issues.

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Apologizing silhouettes

5. Asking for forgiveness

The quick and simple apology will not work in case you really hurt the person. Saying “hey, I’m sorry” will make the other person feel like you are not too serious about your apology. The best way to ask someone for forgiveness is talking to the person about how much they mean to you and how you would like to earn their forgiveness by changing your ways and behavior. You should not just call or text the person saying “do you forgive me?”. Let your friend/family member/partner know that you are deeply sorry and you will not do the same thing again, and ask if there is a chance that they could forgive you.

There is a bigger possibility of actually getting their forgiveness after doing so. Remember, forgiveness has to be earned, and if the person has seemingly moved on past the fight, it does not mean that they fully trust you again. Even if you want to make it up to this person, do not push them into anything.

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6. Accepting the blame

It was you who hurt the person, so you are responsible for everything that happened, and it is on you to accept all the blame for what happened. Of course, no one likes to accept the blame, and many people do not know at all how to do this. You should know that if your apology is half-hearted, and you do not admit your blame, or even worse, blame the other person for everything, then you do not deserve their forgiveness.

The best way to apologize is to own up to the mistake that you have made, and not diminish your friend’s feelings about it. The person does not just want to hear your apologies – what they want to hear is the acknowledgment of your fault. This makes them more likely to accept your apologies because it sounds more sincere and strong this way.

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Offended lady

7. Being a better person

An apology really means nothing if you do not act in a different way afterward. For instance, if you have betrayed your friend once, you can not betray them again after you got their forgiveness. This will make you an untrustworthy person in your friend’s eyes and will not make them want to forgive you again, because it looks like you learned nothing from your lesson. You have to assure the person that you will never hurt them again or do the same thing. You can not just say that you will be better from now on, but act accordingly to it. Be honest and truthful with the person, and make sure they know that you are making efforts to be better – not just for them, but also for yourself.

8. Using quotes to apologize

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Of course, you should not just send the person the first quote you see on Google. Make sure it has a story behind it and expresses exactly what you want to say. Find the quote that perfectly fits your situation and relationship, and make sure you are sincere in your intentions.

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Sorry writing

The list of apology quotes

Do you have no idea how to apologize to your boyfriend? Perhaps you need a perfect apology to girlfriend for hurting her? Or maybe you have hurt a friend or a family member? These quotes may help you ask for forgiveness in a genuine way, or get inspired for an apology of your own.

  • Forgiveness will not change the past, but it will make an impact on the future. Please forgive me.
  • I overlooked your feelings only to make myself happy. Now I realized that my happiness only depends on yours. I am so sorry.
  • It is never too late to apologize and make things right. I hope you will forgive me for being insensitive to you.
  • When you hurt someone, and they tell you that, it is not up to you to decide that they should not be hurt.
  • Sorry means nothing unless you really mean it. I am so sorry for making you cry.
  • No one is perfect, and I am no exception. I have made mistakes and hurt people. But I am trying to become a better person, and when I apologize, I really mean it.
  • I believe that you will accept my apology because I sincerely mean it, and I swear that I will never hurt you anymore.
  • When you say “I’m sorry”, it is like saying “I love you”, but with a smothered pride and wounded heart.
  • Causing you pain was not my intention. I hope you know that I never meant to make you cry. Please forgive me.
  • I love you so much, and I will always be sorry for what I have done. I know it is hard for you to forgive me, but I can swear that I will never go to the same ways again.
  • Hurting you is entirely my fault, and I will take the blame for it. Please forgive me for my foolishness.
  • I want you to forgive me more than anything. If I ever earn your forgiveness, and even if I do not, I promise hand on heart that I will become a better person from now on.
  • No matter what, you will always be number one for me. I am hurting so much because of what I have done to you. Could you please forgive me?
  • Every mistake deserves forgiveness if the person has the courage to admit the mistake and learn their lesson from it.
  • I wanted to say that it is okay to take your time if you are not ready to forgive me yet. No matter what, I will be waiting for you. I love you so much, and you mean the world to me.

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Letting the person go

Always remember that your actions leave the impact on the other person. And there are some situations which are not easy to forget. For example, when you cheat on your significant other, he/she may forgive you for it, but the trust will be damaged forever. It is best to avoid such situations and remain faithful to the person.

Pressuring the person into forgiving you and staying with you, when you have betrayed his or her trust, will be unhealthy for both of you. You should learn your lesson from it and not repeat such mistakes with other people.

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Letting the person go

This was a guide on how to apologize to the person you hurt deeply. We hope you'll to be mindful of your words and actions, so there are no situations when you have to ask for someone’s forgiveness.

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