50 hilarious church jokes to show your divine comedic side

50 hilarious church jokes to show your divine comedic side

Church jokes are charming and offer a unique way of blinding humour with reverence to make everyone giggle. The jokes usually revolve around familiar scenarios and characters from the Bible; therefore, many people can relate to and enjoy them. They could be anything funny, from a twist from a Bible story to a light-hearted moment during a fellowship. These jokes are clean and remind people that laughter is a divine gift.

Hilarious church jokes
Church jokes are an exciting way to lighten everyone’s mood. Photo: Hill Street Studios (modified by author)
Source: Getty Images


Church jokes are an exciting way to lighten everyone’s mood, whether at church with adults or Sunday school with kids. These relatable jokes usually derive from common scenarios in church or familiar bible stories, teachings, and characters. Whether you are looking to start a conversation or make people laugh when they are dull, church jokes will do the trick.

50 hilarious church jokes

While the church is considered a holy and revered place, it could be hard to believe that hilarious things can come from it. However, several church-related jokes will leave you in stitches. Here is a compilation of funny church jokes that will bring a smile to the faces of people around you.

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Short church jokes for kids

Short church jokes for kids
Church jokes create a friendly atmosphere for kids. Photo: Tatsiana Volkava (modified by author)
Source: Getty Images

Church jokes help create a friendly environment for children. Sharing the laughter with the kids makes them love the church and Christian teachings. Here are jokes about church you can share with kids for an enjoyable moment together.

  • What is a mathematician's favourite book of the Bible? Numbers.
  • What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve!
  • Why is Abraham considered among the most intelligent persons in the Bible? He knew a Lot.
  • Why is Adam considered the fastest person in the Bible? He came first in the human race.
  • Why is Samson considered the best comedian in the Bible? He brought the house down.
  • How do pastor’s like their orange juice? With pulp-it.
  • Why did Adam and Eve do maths every day? They were told to be fruitful and multiply.
  • Which character in the Bible is the worst lawbreaker? Moses broke all ten commandments at once.
  • Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?  Because Noah was standing on the deck.
  • What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?  Your mother ate us out of the house and home.
  • Why did Jesus give all the sick women stilettos? Because they said they wanted to be heeled.
  • Why did the disciples drive a Honda? Because they were on one accord.

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Church jokes for adults

Church jokes for adults
Church jokes can help liven moods in dull moments. Photo: Kali9 (modified by author)
Source: Getty Images

Not every moment in church should be a dull one. Crack the congregants with short church jokes for adults to liven their mood and make church an interesting place. Here are jokes you can share with them.

  • What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic.
  • What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
  • What did God do to cure Moses' headache?
  • Why don’t churches have Wi-Fi? Because they don’t want to compete with an invisible connection.
  • What’s a missionary’s favourite type of car? A convertible because it’s easy to go out and spread the word.
  • Why did the priest refuse to go to the casino? He didn’t want to deal with the high rollers.
  • Why did the baker become a priest? Because he knew how to make a good communion bread.
  • Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.
  • Why did the scarecrow become a priest? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • Why did the priest giggle during his homily? He found his sermon notes in the joke book section.
  • Why did the choir member bring a ladder to church? Because they wanted to reach those high notes!
  • What’s a church librarian’s favourite type of book? “Parish”-able reads!
  • Why was Jesus not good at basketball? Because he died on the cross.

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Church jokes one-liners

Church jokes one-liners
One-liners are perfect jokes to make people laugh and loosen up. Photo: Digital Vision (modified by author)
Source: Getty Images

One-liners are always perfect for sliding a joke unexpectedly into a conversation. In a church setting, where discussions and conversations go on, the perfect church joke makes people laugh and, for a moment, loosen themselves. You can memorise the one-liners below.

  • Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
  • Why did the man bring a pencil to church? To draw closer to God.
  • Why did the pastor put extra money into the offering? Because he wanted to make a prophet.
  • Why was the music minister a good fisherman? Because he knew how to cast out nets.
  • The Pharisees believe in the resurrection of the dead, but the Sadducees don’t. That’s why they’re sad, you see.
  • Why did the unemployed man get excited while reading his Bible? He thought he saw a job.
  • The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose. Mosquitoes come close, though.
  • Who was the greatest money man in the Bible? Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
  • Why did God create man before woman? Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
  • Why do they say ‘Amen’ at the end of a prayer instead of ‘Awomen’? It's the same reason we sing Hymns instead of Hers!
  • Why did the church pastor bring a ladder to the sermon? Because they wanted to take the congregation to a higher level of understanding!
  • What kind of Tiles did Jesus argue with his contractor about putting in his home? Gentiles.
  • Why do we have to be quiet in church? Because people are sleeping.

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Funny Christian jokes and stories

Funny Christian jokes and stories
Christian jokes come from Bible stories or famous Bible characters. Photo: IPGGutenberg (modified by author)
Source: Getty Images

With many Christian jokes and stories from the Bible, you can never miss humorous scenarios. They can be from common Bible stories or famous Bible characters. Here is a list of jokes drawn from various Christian stories and characters.

  • Which king liked to do things on his own? Solomon.
  • Which nursery song would Jesus have heard the most? Mary Had a Little Lamb.
  • What did Daniel tell his real estate agent? I'd prefer a house with no den.
  • What did the family members say when asked who would say grace? Grace.
  • Who in the Bible had the greatest business plans? The prophets.
  • What did Zachariah do when he and Elizabeth had disagreements? He gave the silent treatment.
  • When preparing for the Feast of Weeks, what did some disciples wonder? "How much is this going to (Pente)cost?
  • What types of boats do believers want to go on? Discipleship and worship.
  • Which book of the major prophets is the easiest to understand? EZekiel.
  • What's a believer's favourite fruit? Spiritual.
  • Why was Jesus allowed to Join two college fraternities? Because they could see that he’s both alpha and omega.
  • Why does everyone who goes to the Jamaican church keep getting eat? Because the pastor keeps telling them to “Prais the Lard.”

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Where can church jokes be told?

Church jokes are clean and can be told anywhere: church, school, or home. They are good jokes that people of different age groups can relate to.

Are church jokes only from the Bible?

Most church jokes come from Biblical stories and teachings. However, other jokes are derived from various situations within the church and other Christian settings.

Hilarious church jokes are a perfect way to bring joy and laughter into the church. They bring people together by sharing unforgettable funny moments while also fostering a sense of community. They are a reminder that your Christian journey should be enjoyable.

Legit.ng recently published a list of funny jokes for girls. One of the best ways to get close to a girl is to make her laugh. Therefore, throwing a few hilarious jokes in your conversations will make them laugh and appreciate your sense of humour.

Making a girl laugh is one big step towards making her love you. If you want to get closer to a girl’s heart through laughter, this compilation of jokes will give some great ideas.

Source: Legit.ng

Muhunya Muhonji avatar

Muhunya Muhonji (Lifestyle writer) Muhunya has been a writer for more than three years. He graduated from Egerton University in 2014 with a degree in Agricultural Economics. He is also a certified public accountant and tax expert. Muhunya joined Legit.ng in July 2021 and writes about various topics such as entertainment, technology, business, and biographies. In 2023, Muhunya finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. In March 2024, he completed the Google News Initiative course. Email: muhunyah@gmail.com