Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?

Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?

Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship? Things may be going great, and he seems to like you, but he won’t commit. You may feel like you don’t understand what he expects from you. But there are many reasons why he could be keeping you around.

why does he keep me around if he doesn't want a relationship
A young couple arguing. Photo: @keira-burton, pexels.com
Source: UGC

Have you heard of ‘the "friends with benefits," "situationship," or "keeping it casual" type of relationship? It is a common thing among the young generation nowadays. It usually happens when one party is not ready for a serious relationship. Usually, many women get frustrated by the mixed signals when they truly love a guy.

Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?

Was your relationship intended to be commitment-free, but you got attached? And no matter how many times you try to leave him alone and move on, he keeps pulling you back in. Here are some reasons he might be keeping you around even though he refuses to commit.

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1. He is not sure he wants you

He could still be struggling to decide whether or not he is serious about you. If he doesn’t, you could move on. And by the time he decides that he wants you, it could be too late to get you back. He will finally let you go when he is sure he does not wish to be with you. Until then, he would rather lead you on.

2. He is only using you

This is harsh, but there is a high possibility. He is probably getting relationship benefits from you without having to be official with you. This could be why he says he doesn't want a relationship but acts the way he does.

Pay attention to what activities he suggests you do together. If he is only ever interested in sleeping with you, he is probably using you. He doesn't see the need to commit because you meet his needs effortlessly.

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3. He enjoys the attention

A narcissist thrives on being loved and adored by others. Perhaps the guy you are interested in only likes having you around because you love him. Therefore, he is willing to send you sweet messages to keep you interested so that you continue to shower him with affection.

4. He does not want to be lonely

he says he doesn't want a relationship but acts like he does
Desperate young male covering face with hand and crying in the bathroom. Photo: @alex-green, pexels.com
Source: UGC

While it’s normal to want human connection, some people have a void that makes them unable to be alone. He may keep you around because he does not have anybody else. Does he sometimes seem more in love with you and distant at other times? Perhaps he comes back to you when he has nobody else but ditches you when he has options.

5. He is immature

Relationships take a lot of work, and they demand sacrifices. But not everybody has the maturity to put in the work it takes to build a healthy relationship.

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He could be immature if he keeps you around but refuses to put in the effort. While he may like you, he does not have the emotional maturity to be selfless. He may not be a bad person, but are you willing to wait for him to grow up?

6. He is not ready for something serious

This reason can be tough for the guy too. He genuinely loves and cares for you, but the timing is wrong. People have different milestones they want to achieve before they get into a relationship. These are important questions to ask before committing to someone. You could talk about expectations and decide together how to proceed.

7. You have not communicated what you want

Miscommunication is a big problem in many relationships. Before you get frustrated thinking, “he loves me but doesn't want a relationship”, make sure you have had the conversation with him. Perhaps he is not trying to make things official because he thinks you don’t want a committed relationship.

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8. He is waiting for someone better to come along

You are not his ideal person, but you make a good safety blanket. You are a placeholder while he waits for his true soulmate to come into his life. He could also already be in love with someone else but unable to be with her. As soon as she is ready for him, he will dump you. He could give up and settle for you if the other woman doesn't come along.

9. He still wants you in his life

He loves me but doesn't want a relationship
A man carrying a woman with curly hair. Photo: @cottonbro, pexels.com
Source: UGC

Transitioning from friends to a couple is a huge step, and people often get it wrong. It is even harder because once a relationship fails, it is almost impossible to go back to being “just friends”. He may feel like moving forward with you is too great a risk. Although he wants to be more, he would rather be “just friends” than lose you completely.

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10. He doesn’t want anybody else to have you

Does he act like you are a couple when other guys are around? Or does he act jealous when you flirt with other guys or tell them you are together? Does any of this sound familiar? These could be signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, so he drives the competition away.

He probably knows that somebody else will swoop in as soon as he lets you go. He is not ready to see you with somebody else, so he would rather keep you around. It is quite selfish, and you should see it.

11. He is still healing from past hurts

Love and relationships can be messy, and breakups hurt a lot. Maybe there was somebody before you whom he loved a lot, but the relationship ended badly.

Does he mistrust you for no reason? Does he mention his ex in a negative light? Does he make negative generalizations about relationships? These could be signs he doesn’t want to get attached because he got hurt in the past.

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This could be the situation for him; he loves you, but because of how someone else treated him in the past, he is not ready to trust you. It might be worth it if you are willing to stay around and wait for him to heal. Make sure he is taking steps to heal and not just dragging you down with him.

12. He keeps you around because he knows he can

signs he doesn't want to get attached
Couple arguing at the kitchen table. Photo: @alex-green, pexels.com
Source: UGC

It’s as simple as that – he does it because he knows he can. He probably gave you less than you deserve several times before, and you let him get away with it.

If he's not interested, why does he contact me? A more important question to ask yourself is why you keep going back to him. A wise person once said that actions speak louder than words. He has already shown you that he is not serious about being in a relationship with you. The fact that you stay anyway may encourage him to treat you poorly.

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Should I keep seeing him if he doesn't want a relationship?

You should decide how important it is for you to be in a relationship. If it is important, it’s time to let go of him before you get more attached.

Can you have feelings for someone but not want a relationship?

It’s different if you want to be with them but aren’t ready for personal reasons. But if you don’t want a relationship at all, maybe you’re not that interested.

How do you get a guy who doesn't want a relationship to commit?

You can’t make a guy want to commit if he doesn’t. Pressuring him into a relationship will only drive him further away or make you both miserable.

What to say to a man who doesn't want a relationship?

You need to be honest with him if you want a relationship. If he is not on the same page, protect yourself by wishing him well and moving on.

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Good comebacks to use in any situation

How do you cut off a guy who is playing games?

Declare your boundaries. Tell him what you will and won’t tolerate. If he is not willing to respect that, stop all the communication. You can block him if you need to.

Do guys play mind games if they like you?

A mature man, who genuinely loves you, would not play mind games. If he does this, it could be a sign that he is taking you for a ride or he is not ready for a relationship with you yet.

Why does he keep me around if he doesn't want a relationship? The above reasons have all the answers you are looking for. If you are sure you want a relationship, but he won’t commit, you will only continue to get hurt by staying with him. He is only offering a situationship; if that isn't enough for you, love yourself enough to walk away.

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How to know if he still loves you

READ ALSO: How to test if your girlfriend loves you truly: 28 good and bad signs

Legit.ng recently published an article about how to test if your girlfriend loves you truly. Relationships can be complicated, and people are not always who they seem to be. Women sometimes give off mixed signals, which can confuse you as her boyfriend.

You have been together for some time, but you still doubt her love and loyalty. Read on to know the signs of whether she truly loves you or she is just wasting your time.

Source: Legit.ng

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