Have you ever been in a situation when someone insulted you or made fun of you and you lacked a response? Use a comeback to give a timely reply and save yourself from ridicule. All you need to do is to memorize some good comebacks that you can use whenever appropriate.
Looking for good comebacks to use on that person who always seems to get on your nerves?
Witty comebacks to use in any situation
You can show brilliance by dropping a clever comeback which is also funny. Witty comebacks apply whenever you do not mean to insult anyone but you just want to steal the show.
- If laughter is the best therapy, then the universe would be healed if people see your face.
- If you are going to be two-faced, make either of them a pretty one.
- I guess that I have seen your type before, but I had to pay admission the last time.
- It is not fair for you to be an idiot and I do not point it out.
- I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.
- One day, you will go far. Hopefully, you will remain there.
- You’re so fat you could sell shade.
- Feel free to leave. It is not a crime to be stupid.
- Electrons, protons and neutrons are some of the elements that make up the universe. However, scientists did not mention anything about morons.
- With a face like yours, I would definitely sue my parents.
Incredibly funny comebacks
A funny comeback is ideal when you intend to be humorous.
- Ooh my goodness! How did you get to this place? Did someone forget to close your cage?
- The earth is really crowded. Can you go home?
- You are so short, when it rains you are always the last to know.
- Do not let your mind roam. It is not mature enough to be out there alone.
- Glad you changed your mind. How does it feel to have a new one? Does it function better?
- That is a lovely outfit. I guess you would make some good money if you stood on a street corner.
- Run away! The garbage truck is fast approaching!
- Continue talking. One day, you will say something meaningful.
- I don’t know what it is that makes you so stupid but it really works.
- You are not different from Monday: everyone hates you.
Sarcastic comebacks for haters
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A sarcastic comeback is the best response when one acts in an annoying manner. It is a polite way of insulting and sometimes, the person might not be intelligent enough to notice the insult.
- It seems that I overestimated the number of brain cells you have.
- You are not as bad as most people think. To be honest, you are worse.
- Whoever advised to be yourself must have lied to you.
- He’s living proof that man can live without a brain.
- Are you always this dumb, or are you making an extraordinary effort on this day?
- I will have to lie to myself about liking you if you insist in accepting you as you are.
- I do not mind you talking a lot, as long as you do not mind me not paying attention.
- I am aware that you are nobody’s fool, but soon, you will be adopted.
- Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
- If you can double your smartness now, you would still be stupid.
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If you are fed up with someone’s behaviors, especially when they are offensive, nasty and cruel, you should react to them with great comebacks that will shut them up. Silence the person with one of these great mocking comebacks:
- Whatever does not kill you, really upsets me.
- You have all the time in the world to be stupid. It is a brilliant idea to take an off day today.
- I would prioritize charging my phone instead of letting the power source power your life support machine.
- Do you practise being this ugly?
- Did you ingest a laxative because you seem to be talking a lot of rubbish today!
- The people who put up with your manners on a daily basis deserve to be heroes.
- I don’t want you to turn the other cheek, it’s just as ugly.
- Do not be embarrassed by who you are. It is your parents’ responsibility.
- How would you like to feel the way you look?
- Even Photoshop would not mend your personality.
Roast comebacks for bullies
A roast comeback is the perfect response when you want to silence someone and take no more of his or her nonsense.
- Do you remember when I solicited your opinion? Me neither.
- I am definitely not a proctologist, however, I can identify an idiot whenever I come across one.
- Remember when I said you were cool? I was not sincere.
- Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they’re nothing.
- Once in a while, anyone can do a stupid act, but you are abusing the privilege.
- Most accidents happen on highways. Could that be your birthplace?
- Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you?
- If ignorance is a bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
- I suppose that you do not consider home-school option for your kids.
- You bring me immeasurable joy the moment you step outside the door.
Mean comebacks you should memorize
Do not let people continue making unpleasant statements about you. You can come up with a rebuttal using the best comebacks ever. This is an effective way of disapproving people and silencing them.
- Calm down. Take a deep breath and hold it for approximately twenty minutes.
- At least there’s one thing good about your body – it’s not as ugly as your face.
- Jealously is a disease. Start taking pills and get well soon.
- When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I would want to be around just in case it needs assistance.
- Kindly show me your off button.
- Do you know of an app that I can download to make you disappear?
- I can visualize duct tape over your mouth.
- Every time I think that you cannot get any dumber, you keep on disproving me.
- I apologize for inconveniencing your ego with my brutal honesty.
- You seem so tired. Were you thinking?
Has our list of good comebacks been helpful? If you were looking for the best comebacks to use in any situation, you must have enjoyed this article.
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