Nigerian Mum Says She Is Raising Her Daughters Not to Be “Good Girls”
- A Nigerian mother shared why she is intentionally raising her daughters to question authority instead of being silent and obedient
- Her message reopened painful conversations about childhood silence, abuse, and how cultural expectations shaped the trauma many adults still carry today
- Nigerians reacted strongly online, sharing personal stories about upbringing, survival, and the need to protect children
A Nigerian woman has sparked online conversation after sharing her unconventional approach to raising her daughters, saying she is deliberately teaching them not to be “good girls” or blindly obedient.
In a video circulating on social media, the woman identified as @hrhabimbola on TikTok explained that her parenting choices were shaped by her own upbringing and the experiences many Nigerian children faced while growing up.
Source: TikTok
“I saw a lady a few weeks ago, she said she has raised her daughters not to be good girls,” she began. “Let me add to it. I have raised my daughters to not be obedient. I have raised my daughters to speak up.”
She recalled that many children in Nigeria were taught never to question adults, a culture she believes contributed to widespread silence around abuse.
“You know where we were growing up back in Nigeria, we were raised not to speak up. We were raised not to challenge adults. We were raised to be obedient. We were raised to be good girls,” the lady said.
According to her, this culture of silence made many children vulnerable.
“So when we get abused sexually by all these adults, we keep quiet because we’re not supposed to talk. We’re supposed to let them have their way with us,” she added.
The woman said she intentionally raised her daughters to question authority and speak out when something feels wrong.
“I have raised my daughters to question things. When you are somewhere with people, question them, especially if they are trying to get you to do something that is not appropriate,” she said. “Let them know you are going to tell mummy when you get home.”
Source: TikTok
She linked this silence to the shared trauma many adults carry today.
“That’s why a lot of us adults now, millennials, have the same story. We were touched by an uncle, a neighbour, a family member. We were all touched, both male and female,” she said.
Concluding her message, the woman insisted her daughters would never be raised to endure abuse quietly.
“My daughters are going to question you. They are not going to be obedient. They’re not good girls,” she said.
Nigerians react to lady's stance on raising daughters
Her comments sparked mixed reactions, with many Nigerians sharing personal experiences in the comment section.
One user, @Lina, wrote that learning to speak up during her youth service changed her life and made her more confident.
Another commenter, @your chaos, said :
"My own mom didn’t train me not to speak up, I was so rude, wicked and stubborn, right from age, cos I was mirroring my mum, she runs everywhere, our home, even my dad. It made me bag a good man sha, cos I don’t beg for bare minimum."
@Athena baby added:
"even my siblings are surprised about my behaviour, they don't know who raised me, u can't mess with me, cos i reraised myself"
@stargirl101 shared:
"I am the one raising myself right now. I figured out that they are just hypocrites. people pleasers .l will never allow anyone walk over me just because they are older or richer. when I question things or disagree with them, I am being called " stubborn " and yes I was touched."
Lady seeks justice in Adamawa
Meanwhile, Legit.ng reported that a young Nigerian lady in Adamawa endured sexual abuse but faced stigma and financial barriers to justice.
The survivor’s community urged dialogue, yet she insists on legal action against the perpetrator. An advocate stressed urgent legal support and counselling for survivors to overcome trauma and pursue justice.
Proofreading by Funmilayo Aremu, copy editor at Legit.ng.
Source: Legit.ng
