"I Earn More Than My Hubby, Should I Ask Him to Stay at Home And Take Care of Kids?" Expert Advises

• A wife wants to know if it is advisable to ask her husband to just stay at home and take care of the kids while she works
• The anonymous wife earns more money than her husband, and she asked for advice on how to handle the situation
• Raez Jewels, a Nigerian relationship coach, has weighed in on the matter and offered words of advice for women earning more money

An anonymous wife asked:

"I earn more money than my husband. Should I ask him to stay at home and take care of the kids?"

Managing emotions in a home where the woman is the breadwinner could be a challenging situation. Often, men see themselves as the traditional heads of the family, especially in Africa.

Men often want to call the shots at home, but what happens when the woman has more money than her husband? What should the woman do if she is the one working and earning money? Should the man then sit at home and attend to the house chores while the woman works?

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Raez Jewels, a Nigerian relationship coach with insights on matters of the heart, weighs in on the topic. Raez is a certified sociologist, a femininity coach and a corporate communications specialist.

Is it good for the wife to earn more than the husband?

No, it is not good. It is not good for the wife to earn more money than the husband because whoever earns more money commands the authority. These days, there is nothing like gender equality. It can never happen. One person will always be more than the other. And it is the person with more money who is the husband of the one with less money. So whoever has less money is the bride. If it is the wife that makes more money, she is the groom. Then if it is the other way round, the husband can be the groom while the wife will be the bride. If the wife is richer, there won't be submission. It is very difficult for women to submit to a man they are richer than.

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How should the man handle it if the wife is richer?

You have to make peace with it. I once dated a guy who told me he was looking for a business partner. He is looking for a woman with whom they can grow together and build together. I don't know what they are building. Maybe it is the Empire State Building in New York. I don't know, but, there are men out there that are just naturally gigolos. They want a soft life. They don't want women to be stressing them with give me this, give me that. They don't want that life. So, there are some men like that.

Who should do household chores? The one paying the bills or the other person?

Both the husband and wife have to work together to know what works for them. If both of them are working, there are two men in that house. That is the truth. If both of them are waking up every morning to go to the office, then it means there are two men in the house. So both of them should look for a way to strike a balance to make their lives comfortable. If it means hiring a nanny to do the house chores while both of you go to work; if that works for both of you, fine. Absolutely fine. Life is not that hard. It's you people that are making it hard for each other. If you can pay for any service, there is no dignity in suffering, there is no pride in suffering. If you are doing everything, you will just look older than your age, please.

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Who should take care of children?

It is the mother's duty to take care of the children, not the father's. Mothers usually raise kids. Just that the problem is that if only the woman raises the children, the children will become either emasculated or feminine. Either of the two is bound to happen. So, it is not God's original design for one gender alone to raise children. God made man and woman for a reason. It is to strike a balance. So when one of those genders is missing, it tells about the children's lives. So it depends on the quality of the children you want to raise. But if you ask me personally, I will tell you it is the woman's duty to raise the children. There are no two ways about it. Except in the case of death and the man doesn't want to remarry, he raises the children. That's ok, that's fine.

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What is the solution to overwhelming house chores? Should a couple employ a nanny?

It's okay to employ a nanny, but again, what quality of children do you want to raise? I don't want to be a working wife. I want to be a work-from-home wife. I want to be the kind of wife who would work from home and earn her own money. That is why I'm investing in myself now, in my skills and in my knowledge. To know everything about how to make money digitally or how to work digitally. It's okay to hire a nanny, but I don't advise it. The mother should take care of her children. That is my own opinion.

What is your ultimate advice to a woman earning more than her husband?

If you are earning more than your husband, you have just become the man of the house automatically. You have decided to carry the weight of the family burden. Then the man will just be home, chilling and getting fat, while you, the woman, are hustling and working to make ends meet. So, if whatever you are doing cannot earn you money from home, stay with your husband, and manage with your husband. You don't jump to the streets and say you want to go and start hustling because whatever your husband is earning is not enough. It is because you are trying that is why the man is not trying. If you are not doing anything, your husband will go and look for money to feed his children and wife.

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Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general ind is not intended to influence readers' decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their personal circumstances before making any financial decision.

Have a story to tell? Need an expert's advice? Feel free to reach out to us at ask.an.expert@corp.legit.ng with "Ask An Expert" in the subject line.

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