Nigeria has a rich culture defined by numerous tribes, beliefs, religions, and other societal aspects. Like in other rich cultural settings, the country is home to innumerable folktales, myths, legends, riddles, and hilarious jokes. The country's jokes often touch on numerous issues, including the norms associated with Nigerians, poverty, language, and so much more. Which are some of the top funny Nigerian jokes today?
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Like in other countries, most Nigerian jokes are predicated on the aspects that define Nigeria's people, institutions, leadership, economic status, and history.
The top Nigerian jokes and comedy
Here is a look at some funny Naija jokes.
Short and funny Nigerian jokes
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What are some good Nigerian short jokes? Here is a look at some hilarious short jokes touching on various Nigerian issues.
- Only in Nigeria can one find a native doctor using a laptop.
- You then wonder, are they consulting the spirits online?
- Do not worry if time does not wait for you. Simply remove the battery from the clock and live your life.
- A beggar tells a rich Nigerian prince that money can't buy happiness. The prince thinks for a while, then replies, "Well, true, but poverty can't buy anything!"
- A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The bartender looks surprised and says, "Huh, where'd you get him?" "Nigeria", replied the parrot.
- Problems everywhere! A man in Abuja recently bought a used Samsung Galaxy phone and found photos of his girlfriend on it.
- A small apple is now ₦100. Something the serpent gave Eve for free.
- Stop warming bath water with a cooking pot; one man in the bank today was smelling like jollof rice.
- That moment during exams when the teacher asks you to sit in the front, you look back and see your friends cheating peacefully.
- The 'w' in Nigeria stands for water. There is none.
- The Akwa Ibom State Police Command released 350 dogs on the streets to enforce the lockdown. Only six remain now.
- There are two reasons why I won't let my girlfriend drive my Range Rover. One, I don't have a girlfriend, and two, I don't have a Range Rover.
- There is a woman behind every successful man. Do you know why? Because women do not follow unsuccessful men.
- Those of you who eat dinner by 6 p.m. and stay comfortable until daybreak, please tell me how you do it. The day I tried that, I almost fainted.
- Dark humour is like food in Nigeria. Not everybody gets it.
- How do you solve world hunger and poverty simultaneously? By feeding the poor to the hungry.
- I feel bad for kids in third-world countries. They must go through puberty and their mid-life crisis at the same time.
- I recently flew to Lagos to do some charity work. It was an eye-opening, shocking experience. The poverty, the starvation, the fighting, the smell, the noise. I am never flying economy again.
- I thought money was the only thing that could change people until I went to a wedding yesterday, and ordinary Jollof rice made someone act as if she did not know me.
- I told you I do not have a girlfriend, and you asked me to swear, Nkechi, what will you gain if I die?
- I want to hear 99 Nigerians sing 'Africa' by Toto. It's something that a hundred men or more could never do.
- I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe but not in Nigeria. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water. They bless the rains down in Africa.
- Can the last born marry a last born? What if they wake up in the middle of the night and start crying, "I want to see my mother?"
- Which part of Nigeria is my fatherland? I'm broke and want to sell my portion.
- I am addicted to poverty. If my bank account has money in it, I suffer withdrawal.
- If you dodge your mother's slap in Nigeria, you have officially joined a cult.
Hilarious long Nigerian jokes
Are you looking for some long and funny Nigerian jokes to tell a girl? Here are some amazing options you can use.
- A Christian missionary goes to proselytize in Nigeria and gets lost. He begins wandering aimlessly through a thick forest and stumbles upon a lion. He then gets scared the lion will eat him, so he starts praying to God to protect him from the lion. Then, suddenly, he sees the lion praying as well! He gets relieved and tells the lion, "I didn't know you're a believer as well. I'm so glad. For a moment, I thought that you might eat me." The lion responds, "Quiet, please! Don't interrupt my mealtime prayer!"
- A group of charity workers are sent to Nigeria to see how their program is working. They are walking down a street and see a crocodile with a man's head in its mouth. When they get home and are asked about how their trip went, one of them says, "We can cut all funding. They got Lacoste sleeping bags."
- A man is on a photo safari in Nigeria. He finds an elephant in distress, lying in the bushes. Upon inspection, he finds that the elephant has a large, sharp rock embedded in the bottom of its foot. He carefully pulls the rock free, and the elephant gets up and saunters away. A decade later, he is back in his hometown when a circus is visiting, and they put on a parade. As the man is watching all the animals go past, he notices and makes eye contact with a large African elephant. The elephant immediately turns toward the man, picks him up in its trunk, slams him on the pavement and then stomps the life out of him. It was a different elephant.
- A policeman is praying at a church, and a priest comes to him! "Priest, tell me, son, who killed Abel?" The policeman then answers, "Father, please ask the one who is in charge of Abel's murder case!"
- A professor in Nigeria is teaching her students how to form English sentences. "Attention, class. I have two words: Cheetah and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?" One student raises their hand and answers, "the cheetah is faster dandelion."
- An American and Nigerian are talking. The American says, 'I like my coffee like I like my wives", to which the Nigerian replies, "from a third world country at a reasonable price?"
- Buying flowers for your Nigerian village girlfriend is not a problem. The problem is when you get a text from her the next day saying, 'the vegetables you bought me tasted funny.'
- If Nigeria invades another country, we will leave that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read, and the ever-present threat of needless violence blights daily life. Yes, we'll have brought the Nigerian way of life to them.
- Just a reminder to all married people, if you promised your wife/husband that you would love her/him 24 hours a day, start now.
- A mad man tells a doctor, "I have a problem, I dream of cows playing football every day." The doctor gives him some medicines. The mad man replies, "I'll start taking the meds tomorrow, today is the finals."
- Man-made car, man-made plane, and man-made ship, what has this other gender made?
- My friend made it his life's mission to fight poverty. He now wrestles homeless Nigerians every weekend.
- NASA Just found water on mars, Mars-1, Nigeria-0
- It's only in Nigeria where we count money after we withdraw it from an ATM because we don't trust ATMs
- Only in Nigeria can you see a person selling books from street to street titled How To Make Money Without Stress. Why has he not made that money yet?
- Our neighbour's pot of soup went missing, and they suspect me. How can I steal soup that is even over salty?
- Please take a moment to thank and appreciate those guys who dated you in high school. They loved you without makeup, Brazilian hair, with your oversized uniform, ugly school bag, and rubber sandals. My sister, that was true love.
- Three drunkards from Lagos board a taxi. The cab driver, intent on swindling them, starts the car and then kills the engine a minute later. The drunkards pay him and ask him never to drive that fast again.
- Two immigrants from Nigeria arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and America. One of them mentions he's heard that people in America eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So, they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his meal, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend and asks, "which part did you get?"
- Using a public toilet without a lock is extreme sports; whenever you hear footsteps, you must either sing, clear your throat, or use your leg to wedge the door shut so that they know you are inside.
- Walking through the jungles of Nigeria, a man comes across a pygmy standing next to a ferocious dead lion. So, the man approaches the pygmy and asks him, "Did you kill that lion?" "Yes", says the pygmy, "I killed it with my club." Impressed by the tiny fellow, the man exclaims, "Wow! How big is your club?" The pygmy looks up at the man and says, "There are about ninety of us."
- What's the most common type of tea in Nigeria? Poverty.
- A wife asks her husband, "what are you getting me for our 10-year anniversary?" The husband answers, "I'm taking you to Nigeria." The wife then answers, "wow, that's amazing. I always wanted to go there. Then what you would get me for our 20th?" The husband responds, "I will pick you up."
- You cannot date a guy who lives with his parents, but you can date a guy who lives with his wife. You will never see heaven, my sister.
- You see someone with a good house and a good car and begin shouting that it's vanity. Oh, so nobody has reminded you that poverty is also vanity.
Have you been looking for some hilarious Nigerian jokes? This article has you covered. These jokes touch on numerous Nigerian issues ranging from the country's diverse culture to its somewhat unenviable economic situation.
Legit.ng recently published an article about the 20 best black female comedians. Laughter is often said to be as important to humans as food and air. In a male-dominated industry, black female comedians also crack up hilarious jokes on high stages. From doing stand-ups and improvs to featuring in comedy shows, black female comedians have blown up in recent years.
Comedy is one way of expressing various issues that ail our society. Black female stand-up comedians have made a name for themselves by highlighting such issues through their jokes. Who are the top black female comedians today?