20 best Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes everyone remembers

20 best Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes everyone remembers

In 1975, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a British comedy aired. It became one of the best British comedies of all time. Some of the famous Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes are still used over four decades later. They not only remind us about the best bits of the film but also teach us one or two life lessons.

monty python and the holy grail quotes
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The comedy film dubbed Monty Python and the Holy Grail had many hilarious moments. There was never a dull moment. Years later, some of the Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes still tickle our ribs. Most of them are applicable in the present-day world in different contexts.

The film featured Monty Python and a comedy group consisting of John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Terry Gilliam.

The Monty Python and the Holy Grail script parodies King Arthur's hunt for the Holy Grail. In his quest, the king encounters numerous obstacles, most of which are very silly.

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Does Monty Python find the Holy Grail? No, he does not. Knight Galahad is the chosen person to see it.

Best Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes

Are you looking for the best Monty Python quotes from the Holy Grail film? Below is a compilation of the 20 best Holy Grail quotes of all time. Some are Monty Python philosophy quotes, while others are drawn from random but hilarious conversations.

what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
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  • "She's a witch!"

Calling someone a witch is sometimes the easiest way to get rid of someone. In the comedy, Sir Bedevere uttered these words. He was comparing the weight of the suspected witch with that of a duck.

  • "We are the Knights who say ni!"

These words were said by the warriors who resided in the forest. They often said, "Ni!" in a high pitch to anyone who dared to defy their orders.

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  • "How could a 5-ounce bird possibly carry a 1-pound coconut?"

The sentence was said by the guards at the gate of a castle. They asked King Arthur how his squire had obtained a coconut.

  • "You only killed the bride's father, you know."

"I didn't mean to."

"Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head."

"Oh, dear... is he all right?"

"Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who."

Launcelot may have murdered the wedding party as he attempted to rescue a distressed damsel. However, the King of Swamp Castle was not going to take revenge if he had something to gain from all the drama.

  • "Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!"

These words were by Tim, who tried to warn the rest that nothing was holy in Camelot, not even the cute bunnies.

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  • King Arthur: Look, you stupid b***ard, you've got no arms left!

Black Knight: Yes, I have.

King Arthur: Look!

Black Knight: Tis but a flesh wound

Here, the black knight was arguing that he would continue guarding his bridge even after losing all his limbs.

  • "I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!"

This is a deep-cutting insult. It can damage anyone's ego. These words were uttered by a French soldier.

  • "Bring out yer dead."

Monty Python never gave anyone a break. When these words were said, a peasant was begging an official to take away his relative, who was going to die soon, on a cart.

  • "Oh! Now we see the violence inherent in the system! Help help I'm being repressed!"

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Dennis did not understand how a monarchy works. He was making a heartfelt appeal to King Arthur's government.

  • "On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."

This was one of the Monty Python quotes that gave the audience a sneak peek into the storied castle. The place was full of singing knights.

  • Bridgekeeper: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?

Bridgekeeper: I don't know that. Aaaaaaaaagh!

This is one of the most famous Monty Python Holy Grail quotes, which is often used to indicate that a question is either too technical or trivial.

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  • Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

Black knight: 'Tis but a scratch.

Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!

Black knight: No, it isn't.

Arthur: Well, what's that then?

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Black knight: I've had worse.

Arthur: You liar!

Black knight: Come on, you pansy!

  • "What is your name what is your quest?"

These questions were being thrown at Launcelot by the Bridgekeeper. Launcelot was on a mission to seek the Holy Grail.

  • "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."
  • "Brother Maynard - bring forth the holy hand grenade!"
  • "Brave Sir Robin ran away. Bravely ran away away. When danger reared it's ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. Brave Sir Robin turned about and gallantly he chickened out..."

These were the words in the song that Robin's minstrel sang.

  • "One day, lad, all this will be yours."

"What, the curtains?"

  • "I've soiled my armor!"

Sir Robin said these words.

  • "Who's that then?"

"I dunno, must be a king."


"He hasn't got sh** all over him."

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  • "We'll not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite."

Most Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes are hilarious. They add a light touch to otherwise complex and dangerous situations. Which quote from the list above is your favorite?

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