Editor’s note: Naij.com’s Aderonke Bello talks to men who were, as boys, lured or tricked into satisfying sexual urges of mature women. Such women abusively turn boys to their sex toys. Some of the victims say they had enjoyed the experience, but is it right for an adult to molest a minor?
Juwon Adeniji was introduced to sex at age 12 by a woman 23 years his senior. She forced him into an abusive relationship which lasted for seven years.
"My cravings for older women cannot stop in this lifetime," were the words of Juwon Adeniji, "I am married to a woman who is 11 years older than me, I fought a battle with my family members because my wife is older. Anyway, I won. So far, I have been blessed with two healthy boys."
His parents were never at home to tend to him. He was left in the mercy of their neighbour who took advantage of his parents' busy schedules to abuse their son. For the years it lasted, they never found out about what was occurring right under their noses. The boy enjoyed the act and got used to it, not realising it was abuse until he became an adult.
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"My parents worked from morning till evening. With me being the only child and no one to leave me with in the ancient city of Idanre where my parents worked, our neighbour who was a full housewife offered to take me in when the school bus drops me. Then my parents would pick me from there at the end of each working day (from Monday to Friday). She fed me daily, we would watch Indian films and wrestled together when her husband was not around. I liked her because she cared for me," he explained.
Mr. Juwon, who is now in his late forties, said he enjoyed every bit of the abusive relationship because of the gifts and affection she showered on him while it lasted.
"That day after school, I entered the houseand ate as usual. She played a pornography movie instead of the Indian movie which is my favourite. She started talking dirty to me. She said she wants us to play like them [actors in the movie]. She gently removed my trousers and pants, and of course I was fully erected. It started like that. I enjoyed it, and since then we carried on and on for another seven years, it ended when I gained admission into the university.
"As an undergraduate, I only dated masters students in my school. I am married to a lovely woman, she in her fifties, and we have two beautiful boys. I have a perfect life, no complaints,” he concluded.
Juwon is one of many other unreported and abandoned cases of young boys who have been abused and traumatised sexually by older women.
The nationwide statistics of abused young boys is not accurate as many of these victims rarely come out to recount their ordeals, like some girls will rightly say. And also, cases of females being abused can be detected unlike to that of a boy who can hide it, without much hymen pain for him to go through.
However, many unsuspecting young boys have fallen victims to these women who make them their sex toys to satisfy their fantasies. This act has led many boys to battle low self-esteem.
Many older women who have unhealthy sexual urges or fantasies resort to innocent boys to achieve their erotic feat. Some older women promise to give these boys small gifts to entice them in return for sexual favours.
“It is violence against the opposite sex. It is also from women to men. My experience was a bad one because I was threatened, and, sadly it came from our housemaid each time she came to my room to arrange and clean it, especially during holidays. My parents are always away from home as they leave for work early in the morning and resumes very late.
"I am an adult now. Though it still haunts me, there is nothing I can do about it," another victim, Adeolu Oyebola [not real name], explained.
As they grow into puberty, the majority of abused victims won’t be able to live and reason well like their peers, there likely be a range of negative consequences for mental health and adjustment in childhood adolescent and adulthood, even self-hatred.
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Another victim, Chukwuemeka Ambrose, explained how he was assaulted and abused by his boss's wife. Now a man in his late thirties operating a private business in Abuja, Ambrose said the experience has made him lose respect for women:
"In a bid to support myself through school, I picked up a job as a sales assistant in a store where they sell wires, cable and electrical appliances. My then-boss' wife started flirting with me. When I declined [her advances], she threatened to set me up. I fell for her blackmail and she abused me sexually for three years. She forced me to used my mouth on her private parts and some other parts of her body. I used dildos on her. Got a pay raise, since then, I don’t have a single respect for women and I don’t even trust any of that specimen," he said.
Unfortunately, some of the victims tend to adopt a distorted, corrupted perception of sexual behaviour and find it difficult to date their peers. In case of boys molested by adults, they would rather prefer to date older women.
"As a 10-year-old boy, I experienced a lot of pain , as if someone rubbed my privates with pepper. My penis would be burning. Many times my body would be smelling, I endured foul odour. Not a good thing for me, and I don’t think it can be for any boy,” Bayo Amoo, now a university lecturer, has disclosed.
As of present day, the issue remains unsolved as many boys fall victims daily to these abuses, sometimes suffering or having suffered from physical pain inflicted by sexual activities.
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