Ask Naij: "I Have Been Cheating On My Husband, Should I Confess?"
I’ve been married to my husband now for about 6 years, and just like any marriage after such an amount of time, the honeymoon phase is over.
Things have settled into reality and all those stars and sparks have pretty much died down. We don’t have any kids yet but we plan on having children as soon as he’s done with his post graduate studies.
I love my husband very much, and I couldn’t ask for a better man, but the only issue is that he’s off in the UK completing his studies, and I’m based in Port-Harcourt working for a contracting company. I would have left my job to move to the UK with him, but since we both decided it was a temporary thing, I decided to stay back in PH and keep home. It’s a bit difficult because I only get to see him once every 3-4 months, and it’s usually not for long. Sometimes a week or two, and sometimes it’s for an extended weekend.
Recently I met a guy at a work conference, let’s call him Sam. Sam is tall, handsome, built like a football player, and by any woman’s standards is very attractive. We became good friends and started having lunch together randomly during the week. I felt comfortable with Sam because I knew he was married and he never tried to hide that from me. His wife too was never around as she is a diplomat and travels a lot. For the most part I just really enjoyed his company.
A few months passed and Sam and I have gotten pretty close. We started going out for drinks in the evening, and talking on the phone at night and before we knew how we had come that far, we had gotten attached to each other. Initially my husband was aware of our lunch dates, but I stopped telling him when Sam and I would go for drinks or talk on the phone at night. I felt like he would get jealous, or maybe a part of me felt a bit guilty.
One evening after having drinks, we decided to go see a movie since none of us was rushing to go home for the night, and it was Friday. After the movie while we walked to our cars he held my hand, and I didn’t remove because I found it comforting. When we got to my car, he leaned over and kissed me, and it felt really good, but bad at the same time. All my hormones started raging and so I invited him over to my place, and we had sex that night.
I felt bad right afterwards, but as the days went by we continued to have sex, and it almost became a routine. Every 3-4 days, we hang out, we have sex, and that's it. I’m getting very attached to him emotionally now, and I beginning to feel like I might get jealous whenever I do see him with his wife, But who am I to even get jealous? I’m married, and my husband has no clue what is happening.
I want to confess to my husband, but I’m not sure if our marriage will survive it. I love my husband and don’t want to lose him. On one occasion I has having sex with Sam, and I saw my wedding picture on the night table and had to stop because I felt so bad. At that point I knew I still had a conscience but somehow can't get myself to stop or to come forward and tell my husband.
My husband will be back in 2 weeks, and I’ve been battling over this decision for quite sometime and don’t know what to do. I know what I’m doing is bad, and I’m willing to stop.
If you were in my situation, what would you do? Would you confess? How do I even go about confessing this?