80+ funny dark jokes and puns that will definitely crack you up

80+ funny dark jokes and puns that will definitely crack you up

Dark jokes or dark humor is best when discussing tricky subjects. Sometimes it is taboo to venture into some issues in the community. However, most comedians have found a way to pass a message even when it is painful and dark using this unique humor.

80+ funny dark jokes and puns that will crack you up
80+ funny dark jokes and puns that will definitely crack you up. Photo: pexels.com, @Martin Kirigua (modified by author)
Source: UGC

If you are discussing a matter deemed abominable, consider using dark humor. It takes a certain level of understanding to get dark jokes. Here are a few examples to consider.

Funny dark jokes

We live in an angry world despite comedy being a surefire way of lighting people up, helping them relax and let go of their cares. While dark humor and jokes might be intentionally offensive, they are a great way of debriefing. We allow stress to melt away by sitting in an audience and listening to someone reel off edgy puns regardless of how they rub us off.

Humor may be subjective; what one person may find hilarious, another may find boring. However, when it comes to laughter, one style is looked up with far more disdain than others. Nonetheless, most people wish they had dark humor. This list provides the most palatable dark humor jokes.

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Dark humor jokes

Do you consider yourself one of those people with a dark sense of humor? Have you ever found yourself stuck because of a subject that you cannot discuss, probably because it is sensitive? If this sounds familiar, then consider using a few funny dark puns that will communicate what you want to say without necessarily offending anyone. Here are a few examples to consider.

  1. As my wife and I concluded, the decision to not want our children has been unanimous. All we need now are the contact details of people that require us to do the drop.
  2. A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she is seeing someone. It is either terrible news or great news.
  3. Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
  4. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure; a wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
  5. So I went to my friend's house, and he asked me to be at home. So, in my usual style, I took matters into my own hands and had him thrown out. I do not like visitors after all.
  6. My wife asked me to pass her lipstick the other day, but I handed her a glue stick. It happens that she has decided not to talk to me even now.
  7. I knocked at my granny's house, and she asked who I was. I did not know that Alzheimer's got the best of her.
  8. I have thought about it long enough, and my conclusion is that I have had enough of being an adult.
  9. It is always a mixed reaction; when I see a bird fly, I get jealous when I see it fly into a window, I laugh my heart out.
  10. I got a new definition for many of white guys seated on a bench, NBA.
  11. Why won't Monica Lewinsky vote for Hilary Clinton? The last Clinton Presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
  12. Give a man a match, and he will be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
  13. I would tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
  14. In 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee. I am telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s.
  15. What do you do if a gang of clowns ever attacks you? Go for the juggler.
  16. Do you know why I hate The Lion King song “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King”? If you think about it, it could be called “I Just Can’t Wait for My Dad to Be Killed in a Stampede.”

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The best dark humor jokes

80+ funny dark jokes and puns that will definitely crack you up
80+ funny dark jokes. Photo: pexels.com, @Ketut Subiyanto (modified by author)
Source: UGC

The reality of some of the darkest jokes in the world is that not everyone gets it. This makes these funny jokes intelligent and a preserve for a few. You have to be intelligent to get the pun. Here are a few more examples.

  1. A dark joke is like food; not many people get it.
  2. What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? The redneck spinster.
  3. What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?
  4. I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
  5. Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black.
  6. As I do more laundry, nakedness seems more realistic.
  7. Girlhood is like a bubble, all it takes is one little idiot, and it is gone.
  8. A man went into a library and asked for a book on killing yourself. The librarian said: “F**k off. You will not bring it back.”
  9. A Jew with a boner runs into a wall; what does he break? His nose.
  10. Well, humans indeed eat more bananas than monkeys, just as recent research suggests. I agree because I can’t remember when last I enjoyed eating a monkey.
  11. Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her.
  12. Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere.
  13. The day could not have gotten any worse. My ex-girlfriend was run down by a bus and what followed was me losing my job as the bus driver.
  14. I never needed unstable relationships to teach me about broken relationship vices; my parents were perfect examples.
  15. Funny how a man gave up s*x, controlled substances, alcohol and expensive food to be healthy. This only lasted up to the time he killed himself.
  16. You get yourself a rope when you enter into a relationship.

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Really dark jokes

80+ funny dark jokes and puns
80+ funny dark jokes and puns. Photo: pexels.com, Keira Burton (modified by author)
Source: UGC

If you wish to showcase how well you master funny dark humor jokes or puns, these are the options you could consider. Before cracking one, you should note that the best dark humor jokes you can add to your repertoire are guaranteed to turn any conversation instantly awkward.

These are some funny dark humor puns and jokes you could share with your mates:

  1. The easiest way to know you are ugly is when you are handed the camera every time there is a group photo.
  2. If you want to stop an argument between deaf people, be fast and switch off the lights. Case ended!
  3. It is a bitter-sweet end for me as I won the bet after my friend drowned in the lake.
  4. My boss farted in front of a Jewish client "A little gas never killed anybody."
  5. I got a second opinion after asking my psychiatrist for it after he said I was crazy. He said I was ugly too.
  6. Only the holocaust beats finding a worm in your apple.
  7. Having a mind that is considered dirty makes conversations far more interesting.
  8. You will learn that the only difference between a gun and a rope is the duration one takes to make a knot with either.
  9. My drinking problem is that I cannot afford it.
  10. Blow something up when you are in doubt.
  11. The best dark jokes are sometimes not the easiest to understand, but they pass the message all the same.
  12. I hate to advocate controlled substances, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they have always worked for me.
  13. You have to accept that sometimes you are the pigeon, and sometimes you are the statue.
  14. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it back.
  15. Despite my ghoulish reputation, I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
  16. Orphans play baseball best because they have no idea where home is.

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Very dark humor jokes

80+ funny dark jokes and puns that will definitely crack you up
Funny dark jokes. Photo: pexels.com, @Keira Burton (modified by author)
Source: UGC

If you do not care so much about moderation when it comes to dark humor and jokes, you could as well go ham on it. This collection of very dark jokes could make the people around you giggle. However, they cross moral lines and might come out as offensive.

  1. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
  2. I will never forget my grandfather's last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?"
  3. "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" the patient asked. "To the morgue," the doctor replied. "What?" The patient panicked. "But I'm not dead yet!" "And we are not there yet," the doctor said.
  4. My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It is a good thing he drives a Civic.
  5. A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
  6. "I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What is the bad news?" "I have been trying to reach you for two days."
  7. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
  8. "I am sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
  9. I like dark humor. My favorite movie of all time is 'Harold and Maude.'
  10. Cats have nine lives. It makes them ideal for experimentation.
  11. It is better to be loved than feared, but if you cannot be loved, then fear will do.
  12. When in doubt, blow something up.
  13. My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
  14. My grief counsellor died the other day. He was so good that I did not even care.
  15. The cemetery is so overcrowded. People are just dying to get in.
  16. They say there is a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

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Dark humor jokes

80+ funny dark jokes and puns that will crack you up
Funny dark jokes and puns that crack you up. Photo: pexels.com, @Kindel Mediav (modified by author)
Source: Getty Images

If you are quintessentially sarcastic, you could play with words to create funny dark jokes. These are some of the examples you could consider. They are mildly offensive but funny.

  1. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I do not find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
  2. Never break someone’s heart; they only have one. Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
  3. Today I decided to visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I felt nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
  4. My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
  5. My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You will be next!" However, they soon stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
  6. My grandfather says I am too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
  7. Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
  8. Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend is not breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
  9. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
  10. My dad died when we could not remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it is hard without him.
  11. My wife told me she would slam my head on the keyboard if I did not get off the computer. I am not too worried; I think she is jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
  12. "What is your name, son?" The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-David, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real fool."
  13. What is a pirate’s favourite letter of the alphabet? None. Historians have suggested most pirates would have been illiterate.
  14. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
  15. What is the difference between jelly and jam? You cannot jelly a clown into the tiny car.
  16. It is crucial to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be alive.

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If you tend to feel cheesy, these corny and funny dark jokes could make everyone laugh while they roll their eyes. However, you should evaluate the people you are telling the puns to. You do not want to crack a dark humor joke to a sensitive audience and cause strife instead.

DISCLAIMER: This article is intended for general informational purposes only and does not address individual circumstances. It is not a substitute for professional advice or help and should not be relied on to make decisions of any kind. Any action you take upon the information presented in this article is strictly at your own risk and responsibility!

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