You have been in a relationship with this amazing and incredible girl for a long time, and you love her more than anything. But somehow you still have doubts she loves you too, and whether she is ready to connect her life with you and get married. With these tips, you will be able to recognize when a girl loves you. Read more and learn how to test if your girlfriend loves you and to spot all the signs of her love!
Many who are in a long-time relationship with our beloved girlfriend, can ask themselves at least once in a while: “does she love me?”. For some of us, this could be a problem with insecurities, because not everyone believes that they deserve such a perfect and amazing girl by their side. Some are put off by her actions, which seem a little suspicious. Either way, sometimes we wonder how to know if your girlfriend loves you, or she is just wasting your and her own time being with you.
How do you know if your girlfriend really loves you?
Here are some tips on how to know if your girlfriend still loves you, or there is something clearly off about your relationship. First of all, we will list some red signs, which indicate that she definitely does not love you. If such situations happen in your relationship regularly, then you should instantly re-evaluate it and think about whether it is worth it being with her.
9 worrying signs that your girlfriend doesn't love you
So, before we move on to the good stuff, here are some worrying signs that you should be aware of.
1. She takes without giving
Some women think that the world revolves around them and that everyone owes them, but they do not owe anyone anything. It is clearly an alarming sign if your girlfriend seems to be like this. If she is the kind of woman who lays high expectations on you, showing you that you need to care about her, listen to her and do a lot of good things for her, but she refuses to do the same for you, then this is not real love.
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Of course, every person has reasons for their behaviour, and in her case, it might be a troubled past when she was abandoned and mistreated as a child. Or perhaps she was heartbroken in the past and now does not trust people enough. But you are her boyfriend, not a psychologist, and you deserve nice and respectful treatment from someone you are in a relationship with. So, unless she wants to become a better person and work on her issues, you are advised to terminate your relationship.
2. She puts other people above you
Sometimes, even if your girlfriend likes you, she can prioritize other people over you, which can be hurtful. For instance, she can cancel plans last minute, end your phone call to talk to other people or behave more cheerfully in the company of others. Unfortunately, this is a sign that she is not really in love with you. The woman in love would be blossoming around the man she has feelings for, and try to spend as much time as possible with him.
It is alright if she wants to hang with other people or take some time away from you. After all, you are two separate people with your own lives, even if you are a couple. But if it is obvious that she gets more enjoyment and inspiration from other people, the problem is one of you. It is either you failing to deliver her emotional comfort and enjoyable pastime, or her not truly being in love with you.
3. She often talks about missing her ex-boyfriends
When a woman is head over heels in love, her mind will never trace back to her exes, and in comparison to them, you will always be winning. So this is a very alarming sign if she talks about missing her ex-boyfriends with you.
You are supposed to be the man who she loves and respects, and her love for you should be stronger than any kind of love she felt before towards anyone. If she starts missing her ex-boyfriends and implying that they were better than you in so many aspects, this is a sign that her love for you must be fading, or that she never really loved you at all.
4. She does not let you meet her family and friends
The woman who wants to have a serious relationship with you should introduce you to her family and close friends at some point because this means she views you as an important part of her life and wants you to meet other people who play a huge part in it. But if she constantly avoids throwing a family meeting or taking you on a stroll with her best friends, and makes excuses when you bring it up, this might mean that she wants to date you casually without obligations, or that she is not entirely proud of your relationship.
Of course, every woman needs some time before introducing her boyfriend to the family and friends, because she might be nervous that they disapprove of him. However, if this has been going on for a long time and she just keeps delaying this moment, you should probably start getting concerned whether she wants to do it at all.
5. She talks about her plans without including you in them
If your girlfriend often talks about her dreams and goals, but hardly ever mentions you in them, this means that she does not see you as a part of her future. All women think differently, so there is a chance that she might be shy, or if you have been dating for not too long, she does not want to appear clingy. So, this is not always a definite sign that she does not love you.
Still, if you have been dating her for a long time and she almost never mentions you in her speeches about the future, you should probably sit down and have a talk with her about what comes next for you.
Perhaps you two have different goals in life – she likes casual dating and does not see you as a potential husband, and you want a true love and a wife who you will be with forever. Even though a couple can have their own individual goals and pursue them independently, they still need to think how to work it out with a mutual benefit to each other, if they treasure their relationship.
6. She checks out other guys when they are around
Obviously, there is nothing wrong if your girlfriend briefly interacts with the other men – you can not forbid her to look at them, or communicate with them, or have friendly relationships with her male friends. But there are some situations where she keeps staring at them repeatedly and unleashing her flirty behaviour in front of them.
Clearly, this is a sign that you are not enough for her and she wants more. Instead of restricting her and yelling at her, you two should talk it out maturely. Perhaps, she is just not the girl for you, and she would be way happier with someone else. Or maybe she just does not see the problem with cheating.
7. She does not miss you when you are spending time apart from each other (or the opposite, she is too clingy)
Sure, there is nothing wrong with your girlfriend not reporting her every step to you. Sometimes, she has her own business to do and wants to spend time away from you, doing her own hobbies and meeting with her close people. However, if you have been apart for a time longer than a week, or you are forced to be in a long-distance relationship because of life circumstances, and there are no signs of her missing you, it could mean that her love for you has faded.
Of course, women are different, and if she is emotionally distant during the time apart, it might mean that she is coping with the physical distance this way and protecting herself from thinking of you too much. If she is too needy and sends you heart emojis and “miss you” messages every two seconds, this relationship can also be exhausting.
What is important during long-distance relationships is to preserve your communication in a healthy way, talking the normal amount of time, exchanging love messages as often as you find it necessary, and showing your significant other that, even though you miss them and can not wait to be back to them, you are still spending a good time, and your happiness does not depend on them. If she is too cold, this might be an alarming sign.
On the other hand, if she acts needy and clingy during time apart and demands you to reply to her every second, suspecting you of cheating or ignoring her, this is also not too good, because a healthy couple needs to give each other space. Such jealousy may later result in conflicts, and when people truly love each other, they have mutual trust. It shows that she might not really love you but instead needs you for boosting her self-worth. The point is, you always need to find a middle ground.
8. She expects you to change for her but refuses to change for you
A very easy way to tell if your girlfriend really has serious feelings for you is thinking about how she has adapted to your lifestyle and comparing it to how much you have done for her. For a relationship to last for a long time, both people need to make adaptations and small changes for each other’s comfort, so the relationship can be mutually enjoyable and have harmony.
For instance, if you are both working, you need to reach a conclusion of how many days you can sacrifice for being with each other. If one of the partners is ready to spend, for example, three or four nights together with the other, but the other only has one night, this relationship will make one of the partners miserable and feeling like they need to refill the emotional gap in their heart.
If you are going to step into a serious relationship, especially if you are moving in together, you also have to discuss how much each of you will be doing for another – like such aspects as cooking or cleaning. You need to share it equally with each other, so no one is feeling like they are doing all the work for two. If your beloved woman is only expecting you to adapt to her needs, but she does not want to change anything for you, it demonstrates not only the lack of love but also the lack of respect on her side.
Each person has their own basic life values. That which they will never sacrifice because otherwise, they cease to be themselves. There is also a set of attitudes, rules that they can easily refuse. For example, how to cut bread “correctly” ... If you are constantly struggling to make the other stop cutting like that, try asking yourself the question: “And yet why am I so killed over little things? Do I want to be happy or right? "
9. She does not care much about you, your life and hobbies
The trusting and happy relationship is based on both partners being interested in each other’s lives, otherwise, there is no point in being together. So, if you noticed that your girlfriend hardly ever asks you about what is going on or does not pay attention when you are trying to talk to her, and seems to care only about her own business, this is a red alarming sign. Seemingly, she is not too proud of your relationship or respectful of you as a person.
When a woman is truly in love, she will be glad to listen about little things that you are interested in, even if she does not share such an interest. She will also ask you about your latest ventures and achievements, and it will be genuinely exciting for her. The only reason why she could not listen to you at times is her tiredness – in this case, you should just give her time and wait. But in general, a loving woman always listens to her partner, so if she does not, then you should ask yourself if this is even worth it.
On the other hand, it is exhausting to be in a relationship with a woman who demands every little detail from your life and interrogates you on where you have been and who have you been with. This is also not love – it is neediness and groundless jealousy. So, just like in the previous point, you need to find a good balance between these behaviours.
19 ways to know if your girlfriend loves you
We have listed the most alarming and worrying signs that your girlfriend does not truly love you. But, there are also a lot of signs that she does, and we are going to list those for you as well. Here are some signs that you and your girlfriend truly have something special together, and should be working on preserving your relationship.
1. She always cares about the well-being of your friends
Your girlfriend knows every one of your friends by their name and is truly invested in their matters. You often catch her asking about their personal business and career achievements.
2. You are able to go on trips without fighting
Trips are the perfect time for every couple to have misunderstandings and arguments. Being in a whole different setting is stressful, and there is a high chance that you will have different outlooks on the traveling activities, which will inevitably lead to disagreements. So many couples and good friends see each other in a whole new light when they go traveling together. If you and your girlfriend can remain calm and enjoy your trip without any unpleasant surprises, then she is definitely a keeper.
4. She often checks you out
If you have been in a relationship for a while, and she still thinks that you are the hottest and cutest human being on Earth, this is clearly a very good sign. When she is in love with you, she will often check you out and smile for no reason, and let you know how attractive you are.
5. You have common values
This is probably the most important part of every relationship. If two people want different things from it, it has a very small chance of working out, because at least one of the partners will not feel truly accomplished and happy. So, before jumping into a serious relationship, you always need to talk out things like your status, your future plans and goals, and your stance on having children. If you share common values, this is a type of romantic union that you should treasure.
6. She often brags about you
If she is happy with how your union is going, she will talk to you about coworkers, friends, family, and basically everyone. They must know every single thing about you from her words, without even necessarily meeting you. This is an indication of her being proud of you and finding you the coolest person in the world. You are like her favourite celebrity she is hopelessly obsessed with; only, in this case, she is also dating you.
7. When you hear your friends complaining about their relationships, you do not relate
So, if your friend keeps telling you that he and his girlfriend have a lot of problems and talking about her flaws, you feel like this is a distant feeling for you because you are so happy in your own relationship. The only advice for you would be to keep this feeling to yourself, and not be like “I understand you, but my girlfriend and I are completely happy”. Your friends might be frustrated and find you selfish if you decide to drop your happiness on them at particularly bad timing.
8. She supports you all the time
All the strong relationships were always based on mutual support and understanding. If you found a woman who believes in you and thinks that you can do anything and supports you even through your darkest times, then you are really lucky to have her. And you should also have confidence and faith in her when she doubts herself.
9. You make future plans together
For example, you can purchase the concert tickets for next year, or book a holiday, and you are not worried that she will break up with you by this time. This is called complete trust in the person, and if you both have trust in each other, it is a brilliant sign. This means that you are a giant part of each other’s lives and that you are certain that your future is together.
10. She sacrifices things for you, and you also do it for her
Sometimes, we all have to make a sacrifice for our loved person. These do not necessarily have to be big and important things. Even letting your beloved one have a last slice of pizza is a little everyday sacrifice. If she does these things for you without regret and enjoys it, and you also feel the same about her, this is love.
11. She is not trying to change things about you
We all have flaws that would drive the others up the wall. But your girlfriend knows everything about your imperfections and accepts all parts of you as they are. She is alright with all your quirks, even those that you thought no one would ever accept. And you are also pretty fine with the weird sides of her. This is an incredibly important aspect of a healthy relationship. Pointing out mistakes and trying to work on them is normal, but attempting to change the person according to your ideas and beliefs is not.
12. Your friends are wholeheartedly happy for you
If you see that your friends seemed to be wary of your exes, but they are extremely happy for you when they see you with your current girlfriend, then they must feel how good of a match you two are. People can sense when the couple truly has chemistry, understanding, respect, and the truest form of love.
13. You can honestly talk to her about everything in the world
When you are feeling worried, anxious, or nervous about something, just like when you are feeling happy and excited, your first thought is to confide in your partner. This is what partners are for – they are supposed to lift each other up, without judging. You should be comfortable telling your girlfriend everything in the world, and knowing that she will be okay with the weirdest stuff.
14. She is your best friend
Romance is important, but what really connects people is mutual friendship. Your girlfriend has to be this person you want to message first when something funny happens, or when you have a problem. She is not just your love, but also your closest and most supportive friend, who you can trust with your life.
15. She accepts and indulges every guilty pleasure of yours
She knows the weird things about you that do not make a lot of sense. For instance, she is aware of your love for a certain type of cake or walking around home wearing ridiculous pants. And she does not make fun of you or scold you for that but supports these things wholeheartedly.
16. You always want to protect each other
Even if she is perfectly capable of standing up for herself, and there are barely any situations when she needs your help, you just cannot contain your protectiveness towards her. This happens because she is your girlfriend and you love her so much. And she is protective of you for the exact same reason.
17. She is a fair fighter
Every couple has arguments sometimes, and there are no people who are perfect. And of course, you need to have at least one misunderstanding to see if you are really compatible, and to check what your girlfriend is like during the disagreements. If she does not get too heated up or angry and does not bring up your personal issues that you told her about just to hurt you, then she is a mature person who is used to resolving conflicts as an adult. This is an indicator that she loves you too much to descend to low blows and exchange unpleasant hits.
18. She has a life outside the relationship
It is very important to give each other your own time, so you will not get tired of each other’s company eventually. Your girlfriend is a person with her own hobbies, responsibilities, and friends, and you can also use this time away from her as an excuse to do something productive.
19. You miss each other when you are away
When she is not with you, you just wish she was there, and when you share your feelings with her, you mean it. And when she says that she misses you, she also means these words. This is the indication of pure, unconditional love.
We believe that these pieces of advice will help you in discovering if your girlfriend truly loves you and we wish for your discovery to be positive for you both.
Legit.ng prepared a fantastic collection of messages that will melt her heart. Girls are often more in touch with their romantic side than guys. Sometimes, this leads to differences in what a girl expects from her boyfriend and what she gets. Love messages are probably the simplest ways to show affection to a loved one. Have you considered sending your girl messages of love but lack the words? Read the articles to get them.