Nigerian Comedian, Ajibola Adebayo, popularly known as Holy Mallam and his wife, Ijeoma, share the story of their eight-year-old union.
How did you meet?
Ijeoma: I had seen him perform before and I was impressed with his style of presentation. The day we met, he hosted a show organised by my friend. When it was time for him to leave, he could not because someone was blocking his car. During the brief period he waited to move his car, we got talking and he gave me his call card. When I got home that night, I decided to call him since he did not have my number. I felt it would be nice to have a comedian as a friend. This was in May 2004. We have been married for eight years.
Holy Mallam: I was in a hurry to leave the venue of the show in order to go and see a lady I was interested in at the time. When Ijeoma called me that night, I was in the lady’s house. After her call and subsequent calls from me, we became friends and I eventually left the lady for her.
How did he propose?
Ijeoma: It was not spectacular, no ceremony. One day we were in the car and he said, ‘if we should get married right now your children would be Yoruba. After a week, he just came and thrust a ring into my hand and I just collected it. Unfortunately it was too big for my fingers and he had to return it to the shop.
Why did you leave that other lady?
Were you a virgin at the time he met you?
Holy Mallam: She was.
Are you joking?
Holy Mallam: No. I am serious. I had already told God that I wanted to marry a virgin.
Is he your first lover?
Why? You had gone through secondary school, the university and then went for national youth service..
Ijeoma: I just think it is God. I gave my life to Christ when I was in Junior Secondary School. Another thing was that I am a very shy person. I dreaded the thought of going to bed with a man, telling myself that I may not be able to face him in the morning. I had male friends but our relationships did not last more than one month because along the line, the man would want intimacy as a proof of love. Then, our fellowship coordinator always cautioned us to keep ourselves pure. He would tell us that if we disobeyed God, we would get pregnant. Somebody else also told me that if a man married me as a virgin, he would appreciate me so much and give me whatever I wanted.
Was it after the wedding that you had sex with him for the first time?
Ijeoma: Yes. It was three days after the wedding because I was too scared. But on a Monday, my husband said, ‘we can’t continue like this. I have paid and have done everything.’
Holy Mallam: It was a very big wedding. Over 1000 guests attended and I was too tired on the night of the wedding to do anything. That was a good excuse for her.
Did you have to read about how to deflower a lady?
Holy mallam: No.
Ijeoma: I read it up on the internet and was able to guide him.
What will happen if you discover your husband has cheated on you?
Ijeoma: I don’t know if he would ever cheat because I am free with his phone. One day, when I asked him to tell me what would prevent him from cheating on me, he just said, ‘the fact that I fear God.’ That settled the matter for me. I always tell God to keep him for me and I would be foolish to assume that it can never happen. The devil is out for Christians. He does not go to club houses and he does not drink. He may not meet some of those girls but what about the ones inside the church?
Holy Mallam: There is no superman anywhere. Anything that we want to achieve can only be made possible by the grace of God. I meet a lot of ladies, some even ask me to sign autographs on their breasts. As a Christian, I don’t respond to such gestures. I always carry my wife on my mind. I know that I will always go home to her at the end of the day.