How to get a boyfriend: useful tips for people looking for ‘the one’
If you often wonder how to get a boyfriend, there are several things to focus on. Some of these have things to do with your personality, dressing, and behavior while others involve your circle of friends.
If you are feeling lonely and thus constantly trying to figure out how to get a boyfriend, you might have a hard time knowing where to start. Do you make a move on a guy or should you just wait to be approached?
Useful tips on how to get a boyfriend
Most girls probably find themselves wondering how to get boyfriends. Here are some fascinating tips that will go a long way towards helping you get that guy you have been eyeing.
1. Meet new guys
This one probably goes without saying, but before you get a boyfriend, you will have to meet some guys. Do not worry, though, meeting guys is not half as scary as you might think.
You can try to get into a relationship with a guy you already know if they are decent, or you can go out and meet some new guys. Make sure he has got a great personality, is smart, as well as other things that you would like to look for in a guy.
This is easy and fun to do, so do not be nervous. Make sure when you are meeting new guys you do not come across as fake.
Are you wondering where to meet guys? Join a club, community class, or activity group. You can play a sport you like, take an art class at your local community center, or even join a study group.
Find something that appeals to you, and you will instantly be meeting people that you have something in common with so you have something to talk about.
Go out to clubs (if that is your thing) and start talking with new people there. You can also find a group on the internet which appeals to you. This can be a fan forum for a show or activity you like or maybe a multiplayer video game that you find interesting.
However, remember not to share your details online with anyone you do not know.
2. Your position really matters
Even the most confident guys can find it difficult to approach a 'hidden' woman. The word 'hidden' in this case has to do with your position among your friends. Some girls will notice a guy, smile, talk to their girlfriends, and then look at him again, all with the aim of expressing interest.
However, they never move away from their big circles of friends! This makes it significantly harder for the guy to approach them.
To increase your chances of meeting 'the one', here are some things to avoid.
- Staying in the company of your girlfriends the entire time.
- Sitting the whole time.
- Going out with your male friends since this will discourage other men from approaching you.
- Flirting with everyone since you may end up not getting to know anyone on a deeper level.
- Getting too drunk if you are in a club.
3. Build your confidence
Is it hard to get a boyfriend? It can be if you are not willing to put in some effort. To meet a guy quickly, you are going to need to put some effort into finding the right person. One of the best ways to attract someone is to show them that you are confident
Take some steps to boost your confidence. If you like yourself, it is more likely that other people will like you too.
Practice. If you are feeling nervous about talking to a guy you like, figure out your game plan ahead of time. Try rehearsing what you want to say in front of a mirror. This will help you feel less nervous when you are with your crush.
Pick an outfit that makes you feel good. For example, if red makes you feel super confident, wear a great-looking red dress the next time you go out to a restaurant, bar, or any place where you might get to meet new people.
4. Commit to the process
You have probably heard people say "I want a boyfriend so badly", but they are unwilling to commit to the process of getting one. The dating process is no easy feat by any means. You might go out on numerous dates without getting 'the one', but this should not discourage you.
Look at it from this perspective; the last time you were job hunting, you put a lot of time and energy into scouring those job adverts, reading them, and applying for the ones you liked. Then you had several interviews, only a few which ended in job offers.
Likewise, dating takes dedication. You cannot put in ten minutes a week in your quest to find a boyfriend and then give up when you do not succeed.
You have to be ready to commit. The process will take quite some time and emotional energy. Some days, you will feel like giving up, and that is okay. On those days, just take a break. Spend some time by yourself or with friends and do not think about how to get a boyfriend.
Here are some tips to help you commit to the process.
- Be open to all channels, including singles events, online dating, and meeting through friends.
- Dedicate several hours a week to attending events and looking online.
- When you get discouraged, back off, have some time away from the process, then get back to it.
5. Flirting goes a long way
Guys do not always know if a girl likes them so if you want a guy to know you are into him, make sure you get out there and do some flirting.
Be intentional about it though. Do not just flirt with everyone. If you see a guy and you like him, be brave and talk to him instead of waiting for him to walk up to you.
Most girls will always say "I need a boyfriend", but they are not willing to approach a guy. You should be in charge of how this thing turns out. You will never be sorry for talking to people, even if they turn out to be bad because how would you have known otherwise?
6. Be clear about what you want
By doing some soul-searching, you will understand what you really want in a potential spouse. It is often said that one gets what they ask for in life, so if you want a great relationship, make sure you are clear about what defines a great relationship for you.
Write down how you would like your ideal relationship to feel. This might include passionate, secure, and exciting. Next, list all the inner qualities that you would love your future partner to have.
Make sure to highlight any desires traits that are non-negotiable such as kindness, love and support. This will vary from one person to the other.
This will serve as a benchmark for your love life going forward. If the person you are on a date with does not possess any of your non-negotiable values or qualities, then he might not be a guy worth getting.
This is probably one of the most important tips on figuring out how to get a boyfriend in middle school since, at such a time, commitment issues could easily arise.
7. Make use of body signs
One of the rules of social skills involves making it easy for people to do what you want. If you happen to spot a guy that you like, here are several things you can do to let him know you are interested.
- Smile a lot and look bubbly
- Do not reject anyone harshly, if you do not like them, let them down easy
- Glance at the guy you like, look down, then talk to your friends.
- Look at him and smile
8. Ask your friends for help
Are you wondering how to meet guys through your friends? Your social network can be a great resource when you are looking for someone new to date. Try asking your friends to help you out and do not forget to mention your desired timeline.
You could say, "Nneka, you have lots of guy friends, can you think of someone you can set me up with for this weekend?"
If you have someone in mind, you might say, "Ijeoma, I think your friend Adebiyi is cute, could you ask him if he wants to go to the movies with a group of us on Friday?"
9. Make him see you as unique
It is important to show a guy what is unique about you, but at the same time, remember to be yourself when you talk to him. This is especially important if he is the kind of guy who is used to having others approach him.
It is important that you try to stand out from the crowd, but do not change who you are. Take an interest in him as a person and show him who you are too.
Show him the best parts of who you are and let him get to know you. Have your limits but do not be afraid to try new things. Does he listen to a musical group you have never heard of, or never bothered to listen to? Give it a try, and you might like it.
If you put forth the effort and create a genuine opinion, even if it differs from his, it will give you something to talk about.
10. Have an open mind
Do you often wonder how to find the right guy? One of the most common mistakes you might be making while looking for a boyfriend is not giving guys a chance. This often happens online, where first impressions really matter.
If you are wondering how to get a boyfriend online, keep in mind that in reality, guys might not be good at taking profile pictures or writing their bios. So, if you are judging them by that, you might miss out on some great guys.
If you do not hit it off with a guy you are on a date first with, give him a second chance. You never know where that relationship could go. He might not become your boyfriend, but the two of you might end up being great friends.
Here are some tips to help you keep an open mind when looking for a boyfriend.
- Give him a second date: Some men are incredibly nervous on a first date and might thus, not make a great impression. But on a second date, they will be more at ease, and you might just discover what great people they are.
- When looking for a guy online, before dismissing anyone, consider at least engaging in conversation. If he is witty and intelligent, that blurry profile photo might not even matter.
- Do not be closed off when going on a date. You might not get a boyfriend, but you could end up with a friend, business partner, or the link to your future spouse.
11. Keep your 'dirty laundry' to yourself
Rather than spill all your dirty little secrets to the guy you are interested in, keep some of the not-so-good issues from your previous relationships locked up tight.
Not only does the guy probably not care about your past relationships, but he also does not want to be reminded that you have been with other men in any capacity.
He wants to think that he is the only guy for you and that he is all you will ever need. If you're going to keep your man, you might want to avoid making him feel inadequate in the face of your other boyfriends.
Unless you need to talk about people from your past because of children or other serious issues, there is no need to bring anyone else up.
12. Be aware of your previous patterns
How can I get a boyfriend now? You might want to start by examining your past relationship patterns. Most of us have baggage that needs clearing before we are emotionally able to attract and sustain a healthy relationship.
One of the essential steps in attracting a boyfriend is to be really honest with yourself about your romantic history. Take a pen and paper and answer the following questions.
- Why did each relationship end?
- What mistakes have I made again and again in past relationships? Why?
- What types of lovers have I been attracted to (and attracted) in the past? Why?
13. Pursue your interests, activities, and hobbies
Living your life to the fullest is essential in figuring out how to get a bf. Pursue the hobbies and activities that you genuinely love. Aside from making you happy as an individual, doing this will also boost your confidence to try out new things, including dating and finally being in a relationship.
14. Do not worry
Have you often wondered how to find a boyfriend when you cannot seem to be making any progress? Well, you are probably a victim of worry. One of the things that is sure to slow your roll is if you are worried about how long it will take to find the guy you want to be with.
Rather than worrying, focus on what is going on right now and have fun with it. Do not worry about anything, especially finding a guy. There are billions of people on the planet, and with time, you are going to find someone who is right for you.
15. Follow the signs
We all have an internal guidance system that intuitively knows the things that happen for our good. You know that feeling you get in your gut when you meet a great guy, that is intuition trying to connect with you and provide you with crucial information.
Not everyone plans to have a boyfriend or even be in a relationship for that matter. However, if you are wondering how to get a boyfriend, the tips above will help you land 'the one.' Meeting the love of your life does not need to sound like a fairytale, so do not put too much pressure on yourself.