Asking someone out can be an anxiety-filled and often awkward experience for some people. The risk of getting rejected often discourages people from making a move on their crush. While there is no specific way to do it, there are several tips and tricks on how to ask someone out that will certainly help one get a date with a person they like.
There are numerous factors involved in successfully asking someone out. These include the choice of words, body language, presentability, and character, among others. Here are some universal tips that will help you figure out how to ask someone out.
How to ask someone out in a cute way
Here are 15 fascinating tips on how to ask out your crush.
1. Learn how to talk to anyone
Most people generally hate small talk and will do anything to avoid the awful questions involved in it. However, small talk is a part of many first-time conversations between two people.
Ask for advice
Questions such as ‘come here often?’ or ‘great weather, huh?’ constitute small talk and can easily get boring. Instead of these, ask the person you are interested in for a piece of advice. This would include questions such as “Where can one find good food around here?” or “Is this a good gym to sign up to?”
Using such questions, you can easily gauge whether you share similar interests with your crush.
Instead of asking your crush about their college major, ask them where they would go if they had the ability to travel anywhere in the world. Such questions are interesting to answer and actually get the other person thinking deeply about their answer.
Make a stand
It is important to be very careful with how you approach this so that you do not come off as a rude person. People seem attractive when they have a passion for something and can voice their opinion about it.
Try something like “Lagos has the best restaurants in Nigeria, and nobody can convince me otherwise.” Make sure to make your stand with a smile on your face so that the other person does not take you too seriously.
Once you strike a conversation with someone, they will most probably be glad that you broke the ice. They will appreciate you taking the plunge and saving them the agony of taking the initiative to start the conversation.
2. Choose your diving board
One of the most important aspects of asking someone out is being prepared. Before approaching your crush, you should have figured out whether you share anything common with them. This is your diving board.
Is there an activity, hobby, place, topic, interest, or friends you have in common? Once you have your diving board figured out, you should follow the process of claim, excitement, and ask. Here is an example.
- Claim: Come up with a topic that represents a shared interest between the two of you, for example, “There is a UB40 performance this weekend.”
- Excitement: This step involves adding emotion to your claim. Use words such as good, adventurous, fun, exciting, and fantastic, for example, “They have amazing new songs.”
- Ask: This is the point where you make a straightforward ask for the other person’s company, for example, “Would you like to join me?”
The entire statement would thus be “There is a UB40 performance this weekend, they have amazing new songs. Would you like to join me?”
3. Perfecting the ask
There are several things to keep in mind before asking someone out. Here are several tips for the perfect ask.
- Be specific: Vague conversations often make people nervous due to the uncertainty of what to expect. When asking your crush out, let them know that you would like to take them out to a certain restaurant on a particular day followed by a walk in the park. This makes it clear that you are asking them out on a romantic date and not a friendly hangout.
- Choose safe activities: For first-time dates, ask the other person out on a coffee date, lunch, or dinner date. Such activities allow the two of you to converse and know each other, unlike activities such as movie dates where the two of you cannot talk.
- Flexibility is important: Your crush might say no to your ask, but only because they do not like the activity you suggested, or they are busy on that day. They may give a counter offer, which is fascinating since it shows they are also interested in you.
- Be calm and collected: Keep in mind that you are asking your crush out and not trying to close a sales deal. If the person agrees, smile and appreciate their response. If they decline your offer, do not be pushy since this will make them uncomfortable.
4. Will you ask them out in person or digitally?
Building the confidence to talk to people takes time and practice. Asking someone out, on the other hand, only takes several seconds. What is the best way to ask a girl out? Do you do it in person, on social media, through email, or through a text message?
Picking the right method is a significant determinant of the success of your ask. Make sure you choose a method that you feel most comfortable with so that you do not end up creating an awkward situation for you and your crush.
Asking someone out in person is undoubtedly the best method since you get to gauge their real-time reaction. Additionally, seeing your crush smiling at your request is amazing. However, this method may not always be suitable for some people.
If you feel that that you might be too nervous about using confident body language or taking in your crush’s non-verbal cues, then a text message, phone call, or email might be a better option for you.
5. How to ask out a girl in person
The biggest disadvantage of asking someone out in person is that there is no hiding. One might, therefore, be robbed of the confidence they might otherwise have had when texting or emailing.
Smile and make eye contact, but do not stare. If you find yourself getting nervous, briefly glance at their shoulder or another part of their face.
When you ask someone out, and they respond with a smile and a yes, it instantly puts you at ease. This method also creates a connection between the two of you which would otherwise be missing when using digital media.
Asking someone out in person also makes you look brave and serves as good practice for the date. If you have difficulties talking to them in person, how will you handle meeting for lunch, coffee, or dinner?
6. How to ask a girl out on a date over the phone
If it is the first time you are asking your crush out, text them beforehand to let them know that you will be calling them. This will increase the chances of your call getting picked.
Whatever the outcome is, do not be tempted to leave a voicemail asking someone out since you will not have any way of knowing whether or not they got the message.
7. How to ask a girl on a date over text
It is important to ensure that your potential relationship is not based on excessive texting. This could end up in a weird situation when the two of you meet and discover that the rapport you share over text is non-existent in real life.
Use text messages to spike interest by being fun and flirty. It can also be an excellent medium to create plans and gauge interest. Never text your crush that you are bored and ask what they are doing. This makes them feel like a fallback plan.
8. How to ask a guy out on an online dating website
Advancements in technology have led to an increase in the number of online dating sites and apps. If you are attracted to a guy on a dating site, there are several things you should keep in mind when asking them out.
- Beat the laziness. Remember that the goal is to go out on an actual date with the person and not just chat with the person while watching movies. Take the initiative and ask to meet them.
- Do not rely fully on dating sites: While these sites allow you to filter potential dates using parameters such as location and mutual interests, they can easily cut you off from the spontaneity of real life.
- Do not wait too long. After a few messages, let the other person know that you would like to meet. The first few messages will have allowed you to gauge the person’s interest.
- Suggest easy activities: These include tea or coffee dates, afternoon snacks, and so on. Such low-investment suggestions ensure that you are not putting pressure on the other person.
- Give him options: If the guy agrees to go out with you, give him two options such as Saturday or Sunday. This will show that you value and respect their time. You can also give them your number and ask for theirs.
9. Consider a wingman
If you do not like the idea of being alone with a person for the first time, consider asking them out on a double date. They can bring their friend and so will you. This eases the pressure on everyone involved and reduces the possibility of awkward silence during the date.
Here are several double date activities you can suggest to your crush:
- Video game competition
- Pool or snooker
- Mini golf
- Laser tag
- A game night where everybody brings their favourite game
- Bowling competitions
- Bike riding
- Beach walks
10. Master the art of laughter
Sharing laughter is quite often an indication that two people are interested in each other. Men occasionally use humour to gauge whether a woman is interested in them.
Having a good sense of humour indicates that one has a fun and warm personality. However, being funny might not be as easy as it sounds. Some people complain about not knowing how to be funny or how to make another person laugh.
Keep in mind that when expressing interest in person, you should work towards being fun and not necessarily funny. Your crush should feel wanted and welcome every time they are with you.
Once you get this figured out, you will then build the confidence to play with words or make funny faces which will then elicit laughter. One of the best ways to be a fun person is to think about kids.
Kids barely have any worries in the world. They are almost always focused on having as much fun as possible. They are curious and always share their experiences with those around them. Do not focus too much on what you want to say before you say it since you will come off as nervous.
Always listen deeply to what the other person is saying. This makes you look engaged and interested and helps you respond quickly.
11. Learn about non-verbal cues
How do you know if a girl likes you? Here are some of the signs to look out for before and when you are asking someone out. Gauging a person’s interest helps you decide whether or not to pursue them further.
- She smiles at you: If she smiles when your eyes meet, then she definitely likes you.
- She tilts her head: This is a prime sign of a girl showing her desirability by getting a part of her neck exposed.
- She blushes when you look at her: This is especially true with shy girls. If she often blushes when your eyes meet, then it could be a subtle sign that she likes you.
- She touches you: Does her hand or leg ‘accidentally’ touch yours when you are sitting together or in a group? Well, this is one of the non-verbal cues that she likes you.
- Her friends know about you: If her friends know several things about you, then it implies that she has been talking about you. She probably likes you
12. Consider a set-up
If you find some of the methods mentioned above a tad too difficult, consider having your friends set you up with your crush. They will most probably be thrilled to do it.
There are numerous successful marriages out there that began when the husband and wife were linked up by a mutual friend.
Let your friends know about your crush, and they will happily set up a date for both of you. If you do not have a particular person in mind, let your friends know that you are looking. Do not be overly specific about the type of person you want since this might put unnecessary pressure on everyone.
If your friends set you up with someone and you do not feel the chemistry, do not just let them go. Instead, keep them as a friend, they may know your future soulmate.
13. Do not put someone on a pedestal
Even though you think that this person is unbelievably cute, charming, or interesting, your crush is a regular person just like you.
Avoid putting them on a pedestal or making them seem unattainable and just approach them like you would anyone else. You will be surprised at what this can do for your nerves and the general vibe you give off.
14. Mind your dressing
No, you do not have to be donned in a freshly tailored suit when you ask a girl out. But that does not mean you should look like a slob either. Dress in whatever style fits your personality, but keep it classy.
Avoid wrinkled t-shirts, dirty shoes, or other fashion disasters. Do not sweat the specifics, but whatever you do, remember that your dressing is an important part of your overall appearance.
15. Differentiate kindness from attraction
If your crush smiles at you or talks to you, it does not necessarily mean they want to take your friendship to the next level, so do not get your hopes up for no good reason.
Are you wondering how to ask a coworker out but you are not sure if she likes you or not? Ask her out and if she says, “What, like a date?” reply, “Yes!” without hesitation. Confidence is a fascinating attribute. If she says no, at least you will be happy knowing you gave it a shot.
If you are trying to figure out how to ask someone out, just know that it is easy to get lost in deciding what to say, how to behave, what to do if you are rejected, and so on. The tips above will undoubtedly go a long way towards asking your crush out.