Ask Naij: I Prefer My Brother-in-law To My Husband

Ask Naij: I Prefer My Brother-in-law To My Husband

I am 28 and married with a child.

I got married to the brother of my best friend’s husband. I did this because of how responsible and respectful my friend’s husband is. He is caring, thoughtful and very much of a family man. He is always there for his wife and children and has never lifted his finger against his wife.

This made me very determined to marry into his family. With the help of my friend, a meeting was arranged between his immediate brother and I. At the end of the day, we got married. About three weeks into the marriage, I discovered the only thing he has in common with his brother is the surname they share. He is world apart from him. He is disrespectful, unfaithful and irresponsible. By the time I was six months pregnant, he has started beating me, calling me names like ugly, amoeba and pig. I didn’t know what to do anymore since reporting him to his brother didn’t make any much difference. If anything, it only made him worse.

The birth of our daughter appeared to touch him in a very special way because he changed and became more responsible. His mother died about a month to the birth of our daughter. Right from her first moment on earth, she looked like her, even having the same beauty spot at the left of her lips like my late mother in law. My husband being particularly close to his mother said, she reincarnated in our daughter. In the early days, he took care of our daughter, always changing her diapers, making her food and taking turns to care for her at night. I was happy but when the baby clocked a year, he changed again giving the excuse that I am taking him for granted.

Although he isn’t as bad as he was but he is a far cry from his brother. In all honesty, I envy my friend so much and would have done anything to have her own husband. Whenever I am with them, I wish and crave for her husband and wonder at her luck at having him to herself. How can my husband be like hers? How can I make him responsible?



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