Sure, heartbreak happens to everyone, but there's ways to increase your happiness and have your needs met with dating. It's important to date with your head and your heart. But how do you go about doing that? From recognizing what makes you happy to being open about your feelings (and encouraging him to do the same), here's a list of the things you need to keep in mind to find love. Ready for happiness? Here's how to be a better dater.
The plea to date responsibly goes out to women and men alike, although, ladies, this article is for you. The more responsibility you take for your own happiness, the more probable it is that what you seek will indeed come into fruition. Whatever your past or present, it's important to focus on your future. Guard your heart. It's more than precious, and each prick it endures leaves a scar. That's why it's so important to date with your head and your heart. Here's how!
Date With Your Head. It's that important. There is no better time than now to start dating responsibly. As far as the type of men you date, the goal should be to make good decisions from day one. This will help you avoid unnecessary attachments. Good dating choices lead to positive relationship results.
Accept Responsibility. Some men won't be up to the task of managing the responsibility that comes with your heart. However, one of the first steps in the process of dating responsibly is realizing that your fulfillment and satisfaction ultimately begins and ends with you. Taking charge of your happiness changes everything.
Realize What's At Stake. Nothing in life should be left to chance. (Especially not matters of the heart.) Every attachment, detachment and reattachment takes its toll on your overall emotional well-being. It's in your best interest to be intentional in choosing the men whom you give your time to.
Know Yourself. Many don't know what they truly want in life; let alone whether or not they want a relationship or not. This sometimes means they're frustrated by what they receive. Discover your ideals and goals. It will ultimately simplify your dating experience.
Recognize Common Interests. What makes you happy? Find out what does it for you, even right on down to the simplest of things. (How do you take your coffee? What's your favorite seat in a restaurant?) This will aid you in realizing who does and doesn't fit into your happy equation and whether or not their interests mesh with yours.
Lay Down the Law. Your standards are everything! However, they are merely an outline of how you would ultimately like to be treated by the man you love and who loves you. They give the men in pursuit of you something to live up to. Set them and, most importantly, maintain them.
Be Aware of Your Relationship Surroundings. When two people aren't on the same page while dating, future disappointment looms. For instance: You may not want to get married today, but it's definitely a goal in the future. He's ready now. Now what? This situation doesn't end well. Knowing what you want can keep you from having to end something that should never have gone that far.
Don't Ignore His Value System (Or Yours) Degree? Check. Job? Check. But does he share your morals and values? Having wants and requirements is great, however, if his value system isn't in line with yours, you will undoubtedly run into problems in some very major categories (marriage, parenting, etc.), and sooner rather than later.
Hold Him Accountable. Standards only work when you maintain them and ideals can't be realized until you go after them. It's your life and your heart. Why should he have everything his way? Stand firm!
Watch Out for Those Red Flags. At the end of the day, people are going to do what they're going to do. With that said, for your heart's sake, it's important for you to realize that nothing "just happens". Many times there are red flags that present themselves in the very beginning. Don't be blinded by the lights. Watch his most consistent and revealing actions because they will unveil his true character.
Keep it Real With Each Other. Life is too short to spend time playing games. Don't rush into anything, however, taking a little extra time will help you make a better decision. Be open about your feelings and encourage him to do the same. His ability to be open and honest about his feelings, or lack thereof, will help you determine whether or not you should continue to invest your precious time and energy into him.
Seek and Require Clarity. Nothing is worse than the uncertainty that comes with not knowing if the feelings that you have are mutual. Ask penetrating questions and have transparent conversations so that you are informed, and as a result, empowered -- to make choices that will prove beneficial in the long run.