George Carlin quotes typically touch on topics that were traditionally taboos. He was an award-winning stand-up comedian whose comedy addressed important issues. The comedian was known for his focus on black humour, language observations, political views, psychology, as well as religion.
Some of the best George Carlin quotes are not only hilarious but thought-provoking as well. While many may not agree with his sentiments on different issues, he had a way of persuading people to think about life and to imagine things differently. Here are a few of his ever-interesting quotes.
George Carlin quotes on life
The comedian had a twisted sense of humour. He critiqued the norm that had been accepted by society. In the process, he made people consider the what-ifs. He inspired critical thinking among people of all ages.
- The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
Learn to think for yourself and respect your own views and answers. Listening to your inner voice is often better than following the crowd.
- Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Do life at your own pace. When you compete with others too much, you may become the maniac or the idiot.
- The planet is fine. The people are f**ked.
There is nothing wrong with the world. It is the people in it who are messed up.
- Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
Life is all about perspective and personal choices. When you face a challenging situation, you can either choose to see the positive or the negative side of it.
- Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
Learn to relax and take care of things at your own pace.
- Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean that the circus has left town.
Always be alert. Unexpected things often happen in life.
- Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
In the end, it is all about living a happy and fulfilling life.
George Carlin religious quotes
George was one of the few daring comedians who are unafraid to venture into areas that are sensitive. These include religion and politics. George Carlin best quotes on religion open our eyes and challenge us to be more tolerant of other religions. Here are a few of George Carlin religion quotes to consider;
- Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.
You can choose your religion, and so can every one else. Respect others' religious beliefs.
- He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly.
This is a hilarious opinion. What is your thought about it?
- The only good thing to have come out of religion is the music.
George Carlin funny quotes
George Carlin was a humorous person. He could easily turn any topic into a joke. Here are some of the funny George Carlin quotes of all time;
- That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
The American dream, to many people, is but a fallacy by dreamers. In real life, one has to work hard to achieve their goals.
- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
There is so much power in a group. When stupid people unite, they can do unimaginable things.
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
The confusion in this statement is hilarious. Whatever your answer is, you are right as long as you can back it up.
- Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
You can choose to question things or get up and work hard. The choice is yours.
- Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
So many people are average. What will you do so that you can stand out?
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Sometimes, you should figure things out by yourself. Know when to do it yourself and when to ask for help.
George Carlin inspirational quotes
Everyone needs to be inspired by someone else to keep going. Life has its overwhelming ups and downs, but it has to go on nonetheless. Recharging is, therefore, crucial.
- There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
This deep saying encourages us to take moments of silence once in a while to reflect on issues.
- I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so f**kin' heroic.
Talk of resilience! Only the strongest of people can thrive through cracks and small openings.
- Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
Every character is born of something. Previous experiences shape our thoughts, opinions and feelings.
- I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.
Don't be afraid to stand by your beliefs and convictions. Independence is not always negative.
George Carlin politics quotes
George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. This made him outstanding.
- Conservatives say if you don’t give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they’ve lost all incentive because we’ve given them too much money.
Politics is a game of wit and strength. The rich and mighty will always take advantage of the disadvantaged.
- Don’t just teach your children to read…teach them to question everything that they read…teach them to question everything.
We should teach and mould our children to be critical thinkers.
- In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
Not everyone should be president. Leadership requires special skills and divine appointment.
- If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to have selfish, ignorant leaders.
Citizens determine how a leader turns out.
- When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat.
This statement teaches Americans about the privilege they have. People from other countries have it harder.
- How is it possible to have a civil war?
Citizens should always live and work in harmony, instead of fighting among themselves.
- Careful, if you think too much, they’ll take you away.
Overthinking may cause you trouble. Learn the importance of relaxation.
- If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
Do what it takes to fight for yourself. Calculate your steps wisely.
George Carlin quotes about life and love
People view life through different eyes. The comedian's view on love and life was interesting. Some of his quotes on the topic are;
- Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Stupid and crazy people cause problems. We are, therefore, the cause of all our problems.
- Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
We are all made from earth, so we are all equal.
- Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.
No amount of wealth can make you happy. Happiness in life is a deliberate choice.
The above-mentioned George Carlin quotes will keep you inspired, make you laugh and open up your mind. They will also teach you a few life lessons that will leave you a better and inspired person!