ASK NAIJ: "He Lied About Having a Child"

ASK NAIJ: "He Lied About Having a Child"

A young and confused lady sent her story to and wants to hear your unbiased opinions and advices. 

About three years ago, I began seeing a coworker. He was a really nice guy, things were good between us, but I got a chance of being promoted and had to move to another location. I was 21 at the time, and was not ready for settling down, so, after a year of discreet dating, I chose my career over my relationship. He eventually began seeing someone else.

In September 2013, he started trying to reconnect again. He told me the things were over between him and the other woman, and that he, too, was about to move to my area because of a promotion (however, I still am in a leadership position, not that this matters much, but anyway).

Even though I still had reservations about dating him, I was glad to see him when he moved to the same town with me in November. Eventually, we began a physical relationship. However, at the same time I noticed that he was rather depressed but wouldn't disclose the reason for his mood.

In December, our mutual coworker gossiped that his ex... gave birth to their baby in November. When I confronted him, he denied the "rumour," saying either our colleague made a mistake, or the baby wasn't his.

Fast forward to last week. I go through his emails and see a letter from that other woman; she sent a photo of herself and a babygirl who looks exactly like him. Only then did he admit he was indeed the father and begged me for forgiveness.

What is more, the same last week I went to the doctor and found out I'm two months pregnant. I haven't told my partner yet.

I cannot handle this, I'm afraid. Firstly, I feel betrayed and annoyed by his lying to me. Then, I'm afraid that, after seeing the girl (who is about four months old now) and her mother, he would want to return to them.

I realise that was not him cheating on me, as technically we weren't dating at the time, but he did lie about his child. He doesn't want the things to be over between us, and we have strong feeling for each other. And now I, too, am pregnant with his child. But I'm at a loss. Is it best we cut ties and I raise this baby by myself? Am I being fair? Does he deserve fairness?


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