Marriage is a beautiful thing which should be enjoyed and not endured.
Most people dream of getting married to Prince Charming, having the Cinderella happily-ever-after kind of marriage but in reality it is not so.
In reality, you see this couple looking so in love. The next thing you hear; they are separated and you begin to wonder what could have gone wrong.
Though marriage is beautiful, it is not easy. Even couples with the best of intentions end up getting divorced.
No matter how much a couple loves each other, a marriage can fail for a number of reasons at any given time.
Unless someone is completely vicious, no one gets married with the intention of destroying it, yet the rate of divorce all over the world is alarming and couples, even if they don’t divorce, are often unhappy and in loveless marriages.
Even those who are so in love are having problems in their marriage.
There are a number of reasons marriages fail, below are some of them.
1. Faulty foundation: Most marriages are built on lies and pretense. While dating, some people lie about certain things concerning them and when the truth comes out, it, most of time, destroys a happy home. A marriage built on lies and pretense is bound to crumble when the truth comes to light.
2. Infidelity: this is cited as one of the major causes of marriage failures. If you are married, one of the worst things that you can do is cheat on your spouse. A married man or woman should be content with his or her spouse. If you are the type of person who is easily tempted or cannot stick to one person, then you should try your best to avoid any situation that may cause you to betray your partner or maybe you should remain single till you learn how to control yourself.
3. Selfishness: Placing one’s desires consistently ahead of a partner’s emotional needs and responding only when it is a matter of convenience leaves a spouse feeling unloved. Some spouses are always thinking of only themselves. Their needs and desires often come first not minding whether they are hurting the other person in the process. Selfishness in marriage involves lack of consideration and respect for the other person.
4. Lack of sexual satisfaction: Sex is an important part of marriage and the source of many marriage problems. Every marriage requires the act of consummation by sexual intercourse and failure to do leads to problems. People don’t marry to get a roommate. They expect to have an active and fulfilling sex life. When needs for sex and affection are not met, then the marriage is bound for failure.
5. Abuse Problems: Any kind of abuse is never acceptable in a marriage, be it physical or verbal. A partner who constantly abuses his partner sexually, emotionally or any other way will definitely push the person away. When abuse is consistent, the marriage will surely fail in time because nobody will like to remain in an environment of abuse.
6. Marrying for the wrong reason: Your marriage is headed for the rocks when you marry for the wrong reasons. If you marry someone for money, what happens when the money is no longer there? Individuals who marry someone because of physical attraction are the first ones to begin complaining, especially when their spouse gains weight and is no longer sexy in their eyes.
7. Pride: Many marriages are failing and are eventually destroyed because one or both partners are too proud to admit they have a problem and may be wrong.
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8. Lack of communication: Many promising marriages have fallen into ruin simply because of a lack of communication. Communication in marriage is like a life giving river. When the husband and wife cannot communicate, a huge dam is built, stopping the flow of water, causing everything around them to suffer and slowly die. If you’re not connecting verbally, physically, or emotionally, your lack of communication will cause marital problems. Nothing is ever solved by not talking or distancing yourself from your spouse. Make it a priority to make out time to get current with each other. Open communication creates healthy relationships.
9. Jealousy: This is another reason why marriages fail. Sometimes the man starts to envy his wife if she is more financially buoyant than he is. They begin to have money issues and before long they start to have arguments, drifting apart. How a couple deals with financial issues can make or break a relationship.
10. Listening to third party: When you begin to listen to what other people have to say about your spouse, you are headed for trouble. It’s not every advice you should take. Some advices are from the pit of hell. That your friend advising you might just be looking for a way to scatter your home. So be careful who you run to for marital advice.
The most common reason some say is the cause of marriage failure is that people prepare for the wedding, spend millions on the wedding but fail to plan for the marriage. If couples would put half the effort they put into preparing their wedding into their marriage, the rate of divorce will reduce.
There’s no reason why you can’t make your marriage work. Just because you fell in love doesn’t mean you’re going to live happily ever after. Marriage is not a bed of roses, it takes effort. Stay interested in your spouse by talking about your lives, your work and your relationships. Don’t assume that your marriage is infallible.
The fact that you are now married doesn’t mean you should stop doing those sexy little things you used to do before you got married.
You’ve heard the stories of couples breaking up when you thought they had the perfect marriage. This can happen to you too, so guard your marriage jealously. Divorce is not the answer to most problems.