Funny quotes about church that every Christian can relate to

Funny quotes about church that every Christian can relate to

A church is a place where people go to worship and communicate with God. And there are different types of churches for different denominations of Christianity. Importantly, churches bring Christians together as one family, where they interact as children of God. Despite being sacred, Christians can share funny quotes about the church just to pass time.

Funny quotes about church
Photo:, @romanodintsov (modified by author)
Source: UGC

When Christians go to church, they feel connected to God, which gives them respite from the hustle and bustle of their daily lives. It also helps in spiritual nourishment. This article has some funny church quotes that every Christian can relate to.

Funny quotes about church

Going to church is important because it helps in the spread of the teachings of God. Here are some funny quotes about the church.

  • A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. – Pauline Phillips
  • Why are churches begging for money if money is the root of all evil? – Anonymous
  • He does not have a church, as his mother does not have God as his father. – Augustine of Hippo
  • The church is like manure. Pile it up, and it stinks up the neighbourhood. Spread it out, and it enriches the world. – Luis Palau
  • The Church must be intelligible to the simple as well as to the shrewd. – Robert Hugh Benson
  • The Church is a family expecting guests. – Andy Stanley
  • A church debt is the devil’s salary. – Henry Ward Beecher
  • Churches become poor if they become rich and care not for the poor. – Lester Roloff
  • The church is the only place where someone speaks to me, and I do not have to answer back. – Charles de Gaulle
  • The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. – Reinhard Bonnke
  • Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God. – Bob Pierce.
  • Qualifications of a pastor include the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child, and the hide of a rhinoceros. – Stuart Briscoe
  • Start your child's day with love and encouragement and end the day the same way. – Zig Ziglar
  • Baseball is like church. Many attend, but few understand. – Leo Durocher

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Funny quotes about churchgoers

Funny quotes about church-goers
Photo:, @cottonbro (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Churchgoers are those people who go to the house of God regularly to worship Him. Here are some hilarious quotes about churchgoers that all Christians can relate to.

  • Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. – Fred Allen
  • Sinning when alone is easy but worshipping alone is difficult. – Dr Paul Gitwaza
  • Every day people are straying away from the church and returning to God. – Lenny Bruce
  • I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a game. – Steve Martin
  • I believe there are too many practitioners in the church who are not believers. – C.S. Lewis

Funny quotes about going to church

Going to church is essential to those who want to grow spiritually because the church gives them guidance on how to follow God and live better lives. Going to church makes one feel good because, in church, you make friends and feel a sense of belonging.

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  • Going to the house of God doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. – Billy Sunday
  • A church is where gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there. – H.L. Mencken
  • The day we find the perfect church, it becomes imperfect the moment we join it. – Charles Spurgeon
  • Two hundred people changed their religion the first time I sang in the church choir. – Fred Allen
  • I like the silent church before the service begins better than any preaching. – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Funny quotes about church attendance

Funny quotes about church attendance
Photo:, @cottonbro (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Below are hilarious quotes about church attendance to which every Christian can relate to.

  • Sailors ought never to go to the house of God. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable. – H.G. Wells
  • Church attendance is as vital to a disciple as a transfusion of rich, healthy blood to a sick man. – D.L. Moody
  • God adores teenagers who do not go to church but don't get to meet some people who love God back. – Anne Lamott
  • Many come to bring their clothes to church rather than themselves. – Thomas Fuller

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Funny quotes about Christianity

Christianity is focused on the life and teaching of Jesus Christ. It is a religion based on the Biblical teachings of Jesus Christ. Here are some relatable quotes about Christianity.

  • A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and is turned out for what he knows. – Mark Twain
  • Religion is the product of organizations called churches. – Sunday Adelaja
  • Christianity means a lot more than church membership. – Billy Sunday
  • Christians don't tell lies; they go to church and sing them. – A. W. Tozer
  • People are funny. They want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church. —Mrs. Miracle
  • Use your ministry to build people, not people to build your ministry. – Jacquelyn K. Healsley
  • It won't save your soul if your wife is a Christian. You have got to be something more than a brother-in-law to the church. – Bill Sunday

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Short funny church sayings

Short funny church sayings
Photo:, @lukashartmann (modified by author)
Source: UGC

The following are funny church sayings to inspire you and make you smile.

  • If we fix our churches, our nation is fixed. – Sunday Adelaja
  • No educated man can afford to be ignorant of the Bible. – Theodore Roosevelt
  • There is no one true church, no one chosen people. – Terry Tempest Williams
  • That very church which the world likes best is sure to be that which God abhors. – Charles Spurgeon
  • When the world beats you down, open up your Bible. – Lysa TerKeurst
  • We are perishing for lack of wonder, not for lack of wonders. – G.K Chesterton

Funny church captions for Instagram

Finding a good caption for Instagram can be straining and tiresome. Check below for some funny Instagram captions you can use for your church photos and videos.

  • Christians are not limited to any church. – Billy Graham
  • The world and its people are my church. – R. Alan Woods
  • Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you. – George Carlin
  • We sing in the house of God, why can we not dance there? – George Bernard Shaw
  • I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church. – Robin Williams
  • When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henry Youngman
  • Where God builds a church, the devil builds a chapel. – Martin Luther

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Old-time church sayings

old time church sayings
Photo:, @rodnaeproductions (modified by author)
Source: UGC

Sayings are important because they impart knowledge, offer advice, and relieve interpersonal tension. What are some of the best old-time religious sayings? Check these ones below:

  • The Bible is the cradle wherein Christ is laid. – Martin Luther
  • If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old. – Peter Drucker
  • They have tones that touch and search the hearts of young and old. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  • The word of my Lord is the sword for the world. – Toba Beta
  • Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. – C.S. Lewis
  • If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old. – Peter Drucker

Funny church signs

Church signs are powerful ways to connect with church members and people outside the congregation. What are some of the funny church signs or stickers you come across? Check these homes below.

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  • Bring your sins to the altar and drop them like it is hot.
  • Visitors welcomed. Members expected
  • Seven days without prayers makes one weak.
  • Jesus loves you and your tattoos.
  • We are praying and listening to the scientists.
  • Download your worries and get online with God.
  • What section would you prefer in the afterlife? Smoking or non-smoking?
  • How do we make holy water? We boil the hell out of it.
  • Hipster Jesus loved you before you were cool.
  • God wants full custody, not just weekend visits.
  • Jesus had two dads, and he turned out fine.
  • If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table, not a taller fence.
  • Lord, help us be the people our dogs think we are.
  • Are you having trouble sleeping? Try one of our sermons.
  • If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
  • What part of ‘Thou shall not’ don’t you understand?
  • Sin is a short word with a long sentence.
  • Why pay for GPS? Jesus gives directions for free.

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Connect with your fellow Christians by sharing funny church quotes with them. The above quotes and sayings can make anyone smile. Do not be a boring Christian.

READ ALSO: 50 sobering never force anyone to talk to you quotes and sayings recently published an article about 50 sobering never force anyone to talk to you quotes. Sometimes it is best to let people be if they don't want to talk. Even if you care about them, you cannot force them to talk to you if they have chosen to be silent.

You can't force someone to have a conversation with you when they don't want to. Therefore, it is wise to give them space so that when they are ready to connect with you, they will come back.


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