Nigeria has many reputable comedians whose jokes are appreciated at home and abroad. They have a great sense of humour. No doubt, some of the jokes and funny quotes by Nigerian comedians will make your day.
Nigerian comedians have dropped great and funny quotes about life in general. These quotes are also motivation, considering the fact that life can get hard and frustrating. You can share these funny quotes with your friends for a good laugh.
Funny quotes by Nigerian comedians
These funny quotes by comedians are motivational and hilarious at the same time.
- As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. – Basketmouth
- The cow in a hurry to go to America will come back as corned beef. – Pete Edochie
- If you are filthy and need a bath, pray from now till tomorrow, if you no bath, you go still dey smell.– Alibaba
- When a girl has beauty alone without brains, the private part suffers the most. – Pete Edochie
- Girls if your boyfriend is a good listener, he is probably thinking of something else when you're talking. – Basketmouth
- If you want to say bad things about me behind my back, come to me; I'll tell you more. – Bovi
- Most girls pray for hardworking men, yet they don't respond to greetings from Bricklayers. – Basketmouth
- Funny thing is that in this business, bigmanism/bigwomanism can make you go hungry. – Gordons
- Being a good person is like being a goalkeeper. People will only remember the ones you missed no matter how many goals you save. – Julius Agwu
- The bu*ocks are like a married couple; though there is constant friction between them, they will still love and live together. – Pete Edochie
- People say being rich isn't about what you have in your bank account but what you have in your heart; take your heart to Shoprite, and let's see what you get. – Julius Agwu
- When a goat laughs after hearing that the lion is around, you need to find out what kind of grass it has been eating. – Pete Edochie
- A man who counts his money right after withdrawing from the ATM has trust issues. – Pete Edochie
- Dating a twin is a problem; you can't even say, baby, there is no one like you. – Alibaba
- He that is looking for the expiry date on agege bread is not worthy of being called hungry. – Pete Edochie
- If you are ever feeling miserable, just remember someone out there has a permanent tattoo of their ex! – Julius Agwu
- Your boyfriend is not your source of income. My dear, it's a relationship, not a job opportunity. – Basketmouth
- You don't need to have a car to impress a girl. Just wear a starched shirt and hold a car key in your hand. – Basketmouth
- Once a girl stops taking pictures, and you don't see her online, just know she is pregnant. – Pete Edochie
- Bloggers are much like the friend you invited to check your blog who created his own blog and copied all your contents. – Basketmouth
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Hilarious quotes by Nigerian comedians
Below are more funny jokes you can share with your friends and loved ones.
- Girls are like mangoes; some of you are waiting for them to ripe, and others eat them with salt. – Pete Edochie
- I don't lose, I either win or I learn. – Basketmouth
- A man having a female best friend is like having chicken for a pet; you will eat it someday. – Pete Edochie
- If looks could kill, the look on the face of a newsvendor when people read headlines and not buy a newspaper would have killed many. – Julius Agwu
- When your goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets suspicious. – Pete Edochie
- How can the pastor be preaching about charity, and he put a password on church wifi? – Julius Agwu
- As powerful as the king is, he cannot command anybody to help him pass faeces. – Pete Edochie
- Never open the door for an armed robber; let them break it. It's part of their job. – Pete Edochie
- Somewhere in Nigeria, in this cold weather, a greedy girl is shivering and still asking her boyfriend for ice cream! – Julius Agwu
- One man's food is every other man's food. Just because one idiot refuses to eat it doesn't make it poison. – Pete Edochie
- The only person that reads the terms and conditions is the one who writes them. – Pete Edochie
- The only warning Africans take seriously is low battery. – Ayo Makun
- A woman's greatest perfume is the fragrance of her man's success. – Pete Edochie
- Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than bananas is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father. – Ayo Makun
- Fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, artificial face and sometimes fake behaviour, yet a woman will say she needs a real man. – Pete Edochie
- Give them a chair if they can't stand your success. – Pete Edochie
- If your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend. – Ayo Makun
- No matter how dark the room is, a man will always find his way to the woman's bre*st. – Pete Edochie
- Just because you met them at the church doesn't mean they are the ones. Demons go to church too. – Pete Edochie
Funny Nigerian quotes for Facebook
Facebook is a place to get the most recent news and hot gossip. But, it is also a great place to show off your sense of humour. These funny Nigerian quotes for Facebook will make your friends laugh.
- Lagos traffic will make you think you're hard-working because you always get home tired.
- I am not lazy; I rest before I get tired.
- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- Do not be too shy to get that airtime from your ex. Take it as your retirement benefit.
- God doesn't give up on people. People give up on themselves. – Bovi
- People will love you, people will hate you, while others will secretly wish to be you. – Gordons
- Continue saying all men are players until you finally marry their coach.
- I've had a very busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
- I'm not short. I'm fun-sized!
- Facebook should stop sending me reminders of other people's birthdays. What am I, a cake factory?
- I'm not 40; I'm eighteen with 22 years of experience.
- I am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time, lunch time, break time, bedtime, this time, that time, anytime, all the time.
- I'm pretty sure my prayers go directly to God's spam folder.
- My mate changed his Facebook status to "suicidal, standing on the edge of a cliff", so I poked him.
- My iPhone must be broken. I pressed the home button, but I'm still at school.
- The chief, who doesn't know what to say, says that his friend has said what he would have said. – Pete Edochie
- He who decides to swallow a complete coconut has absolute trust in his an*s. – Ayo Makun
- No matter how rich you get, you cannot pay for your sins. – Pete Edochie
- Respect pregnant women because it's not easy going around with evidence that you've had s*x. – Ayo Makun
- No matter how good you are, you are the villain in somebody's narration of the movie. – Gordons
- I only use violence as an appropriate response. So if I slap you, it's because you gave me a reason to. – Bovi
- I was very good at mathematics until they added letters. – Alibaba
- Remember one thing, you might be a player, but I am the game.– Gordons
- Don't be deceived! Being kissed doesn't mean you are loved. If you doubt, ask Jesus about Judas. – Julius Agwu
Laughing can lengthen your lifespan by reducing stress and pressure. Life in Nigeria can be hard, and laughter is all you need to keep going. These funny quotes by Nigerian comedians will leave you and your friends laughing out loud.
Sharing these jokes with your friends helps to pass time too. When you are feeling low, these funny quotes about life in Nigeria will lift your mood.