Dating is fun, but you must like each other before it becomes a relationship. It, however, becomes complicated when only one person is interested in taking things seriously. Whether they're asking for the first time or you have gone out on a few dates, it's hard to reject someone. Here are some tips if you are wondering how to tell someone you're not interested.
Telling someone you are not interested in them is not a walk in the park. There are many things you have to consider before breaking the news to the person. You have to consider them as much as yourself so being mentally prepared is important. You, however, cannot date someone just for the sake of it, and you have to let them you know are not interested.
How to let someone down easy
It is very flattering to find out someone is into you, but it can be tricky if you don't feel the same way. This means you have to let them down, which is not an easy thing to do. Here is how to let a guy down easy:
1. Do it in person
Showing up in person is respectful, especially if you have gone on more than a few dates. That face-to-face conversation will at least show them you respect them.
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2. Pick an appropriate time and place
Timing and location matter when you want to let someone down nicely. Be empathetic when considering the place and timeframe to talk to them.
3. Take responsibility
When letting someone know you are not interested, taking full responsibility for your decision is important. You might be tempted to avoid initiating the breakup, but you should since you are the one not interested.
4. Be brief
You should be direct and not beat around the bush during this conversation. Just say what you want.
5. Do not be patronizing
When letting someone down, ensure you do not patronize or insult the person. Be nice and kind, so you do not leave things on bad terms.
6. Follow the Golden Rule
Put yourself in their shoes and tailor your speech accordingly. This will help you find a gentler way to let someone down.
7. Give closure
Getting and giving closure is important for your relationship, no matter how short-lived. This will help both of you move on without dwelling on the past.
8. Don't waste anyone's time
Letting someone down works well when communicating your disinterest as early as possible. Don't waste their time.
9. Don't sugarcoat things
Say things as they are, and don't try to sugarcoat anything. The person will appreciate you more if you are honest.
10. Say what you want
One way of being honest is by saying what you want. Say it if you want to be friends but don't want a romantic relationship.
11. Keep things between the two of you
Rejection is hard enough, and more so when everyone knows about it. Letting someone down easy means ensuring you do it in private. You don't have to tell other people as this might embarrass the person you reject.
12. Give them space
Rejection is difficult; people need space and time to feel sad, upset, betrayed, or confused. Do not make it your responsibility to ensure they manage their feelings effectively, but give them space.
How to tell someone you're not interested
Rejection is one of the most awkward scenarios as far as dating is concerned. Figuring out what to say to pass the message clearly and compassionately can take time and effort. Below is a breakdown of how to tell someone you are not interested:
1. Share your feelings
Talking about your feelings and what you need is important when telling someone you are not interested. This is because the person might think they are not good enough or they did something wrong. Sharing your feelings takes the focus off them and enables them to share their feelings too.
2. Let them know you are incompatible
If you are wondering how to tell someone you don't like them, tell them you are incompatible. Of course, they may disagree but remember that this is your decision. You have every right to say no to someone.
3. Give them an explanation without giving excuses
Sometimes you may have led them on, and this is human. That, however, doesn't mean that you should dwell on that point and let the guilt make you invent excuses. Just be honest and explains yourself without the wired excuses.
4. Talk about the missing connection
If you reject someone after a few dates, they might ask questions. The person may want to know why and if they've done something wrong. In such a case, focus on the process and not the person. Ultimately, we can't always explain our emotions, so let them know there is no connection.
5. Say no to the relationship, not the person
If you are wondering how to politely reject someone, focus on the facts. Try to find a way forward that involves something other than romance. It's not about blame, and do not hurt them unnecessarily.
6. Be respectful
When telling someone that you are not interested in them, it's important to be as respectful as possible. Avoid ghosting them and use polite language when communicating.
7. Tell them you're not ready to date
A good way to tell someone you are not interested in them is to say you want to stay single at the moment. Many people nowadays choose to be single, and it is a great excuse not to date someone.
8. State what you need
When planning to reject someone, thinking about what you need in life can be helpful. Knowing what you need will make you feel more confident in your decision. It will also help you make the person understand your decision. For example, tell them you need to focus on your career.
9. Have your end goal in mind
Remembering the why will help you cope with guilt when planning to have the conversation. Keeping your end goal in mind will give you the confidence and motivation to get through the conversation.
10. Forgive yourself
It can be tough telling someone you don't want to date them. You might still care about the person, which could make you feel emotional. That's why you should have self-compassion and forgive yourself.
How to reject someone nicely over text
Sending text messages is the easiest form of communication, especially when you do not want to face someone. A text might be the easiest option if you want to reject someone interested in you nicely. Below are some helpful tips to keep in mind when sending the text:
- Reduce awkwardness and hurt by keeping it short and simple. You could text, "No thanks, I'm not interested."
- Don't send mixed messages and create false hope. Try not to text things like "I might be down another day!" or "Maybe some other time?"
- Make the person feel nice about themselves by giving a compliment. This can boost their confidence and reduce the chance of taking rejection personally. You can text, "You're really awesome, and I'm flattered, but I'm not interested in being more than friends."
- Explain that you're busy. It is important to give them a reason even though you don't owe them an explanation. Say something like, "I'm don't have time for a relationship right now".
- Highlight your differences. If the other person knows you don't think you are a good match, they'll understand the rejection. You could text, "I'm sorry, but I think we're incompatible."
- Friend zone them nicely and have clear boundaries. The person will appreciate you being upfront instead of stringing them along. Try texting, "Let's hang out as friends instead."
- Provide a timely response. When letting some down through text, get back as soon as possible. Avoid texting things like, "Let me think about it."
- Be honest if you're already dating someone. You could text, "I'm seeing someone else right now."
Telling someone you are not interested in them can be daunting because feelings are involved. However, as long as you keep it short and to the point while being considerate, you can let them down easy. You must also manage your emotions and practice self-compassion, as the process also affects you. The above tips will help you know how to tell someone you are not interested.
Legit.ng published an article about common deal breakers in a relationship. Being with someone is great, but every person has that certain line that cannot be crossed. Otherwise, the relationship would be over.
A deal breaker is a character trait or behaviour that you should not tolerate in a person. Everyone has different things they cannot stand in other people, but some unfavourable traits are more prevalent. The article above has 33 most common deal breakers.