Imagine you have found a perfect person and fell in love with them. But it turned out later that they had a secret that broke your heart and made you doubt if you should continue your relationship. What would you do - stay with your partner and accept them as they are, or start looking for a new one? A reader sent his letter to firstname.lastname@example.org asking for your help.
I have been dating a girl for about a year, and we are in love with each other.
She is my friend's younger sister, and he described her as a very decent girl who was never seen in a company of another man, except for her friends.
I am still a virgin because I've always wanted to meet another innocent girl. My girlfriend knows this fact about me, but she never told me if she was one. She only would hint she wanted to share some secret with me, but insisted the right time for it must come.
Yesterday, I had enough and told her that unless she told me what's the matter, I would never call her again. She made me promise that whatever I hear would not discourage me from seeing her. Finally, she confessed that she is no longer a virgin, that she lost her chastity to her first lover, and noone knows about that but for her elder sister and now me.
According to her, that was a one-time experience and she stopped seeing the guy upon realizing he wanted to use her as his sex toy. She says she was afraid to tell me out of the fear of losing me.
At first, I said I had no problem with it, that nothing would stop me from loving her, but now I'm starting to have second thoughts. I never slept last night because I think I deserve better than her now that I know she's no longer a virgin.
I've always thought I would fall in love with another virgin and we would spend our lives together, and, until yesterday, I thought this girl was the one.
Please, what should I do? Should I tell her to look for another man? Although she loves me, she would eventually find another partner. Or shold I continue with her, but how do I get over what's on my mind?