Dark jokes or dark humour is best used when dealing with subjects that are otherwise difficult to discuss. Sometimes it is a taboo to venture into certain matters in the community. However, most comedians have found a way of passing a message even when it is painful and dark using this unique kind of humour.
If you are discussing a matter deemed abominable, consider doing so using dark humor. It takes a certain level of understanding to get dark jokes. Here are a few examples to consider.
Dark humor jokes
Do you consider yourself one of those people with a dark sense of humor? Have you ever found yourself stuck because of a subject that you cannot discuss probably because it is sensitive? If this sounds familiar, then consider using a few funny dark jokes that will communicate what you want to say without necessarily offending anyone. Here are a few examples to consider.
- I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
- Orphans play baseball best because they have no idea where home is.
- Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
- The decision of not wanting our children has been a unanimous one as my wife and I concluded. All we need now are contact details of people that need us to do the drop.
- A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
- Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
- One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
- So I went to my friend's house and he asked me to be at home. So, in my usual style, I took matters into my own hands and had him thrown out. I do not like visitors after all.
- My wife asked me the other day to pass her her lipstick but I passed her a glue stick. It happens that she has decided not to talk to me even now.
- I knocked at my granny's house and she asked who I was. I did not know that Alzheimer's got the best of her.
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The reality of some of the darkest jokes in the world is that not everyone gets it. This is what makes these jokes intelligent and a preserve for a few. You have to be intelligent to get the joke. Here are a few more examples.
- A dark joke is like food, not many people get it.
- What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? The redneck virgin.
- What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?
- I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
- Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black.
- As I do more laundry, nudity seems more realistic.
- Virginity is like a bubble, all it takes is one little prick and it is gone.
- A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “F**k off, you won’t bring it back.”
- A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what does he break? His nose.
- Well, it is true that humans eat more bananas than monkeys just as recent research suggests. I agree because I can’t remember when last I enjoyed eating a monkey.
- Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her.
- Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere.
- The day could not have gotten any worse. My ex-girlfriend was run down by a bus and what followed was me losing my job as the bus driver.
- I never needed unstable relationships to teach me about broken relationship vices, my parents were perfect examples.
- Funny how a man gave up sex, drugs, alcohol and expensive food just to be healthy. This only lasted up to the time he killed himself.
- You get yourself a rope when you enter into a relationship.
- I have thought about it long enough and my conclusion is that I have had enough of being an adult.
- It's always a mixed reaction; when I see a bird fly I get jealous when I see it fly into a window, I laugh my heart out.
- I got a new definition for a bunch of white guys seated on a bench, NBA.
- Why won't Monica Lewinsky vote for Hilary Clinton? The last Clinton Presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
Dark humor quotes
- “Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.” Jimmy Carr
- "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
- I like dark humor. My favorite movie of all time is 'Harold and Maude.'
- "When in doubt, blow something up." - J. Michael Straczynski.
- You have to accept the fact that sometimes you are the pigeon, and sometimes you are the statue. - Claude Chabrol.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. - Oscar Wilde.
- It's better to be loved than feared, but if you can't be loved, then fear will do.
- "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." - Will Rogers.
- “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral. - Demetri Martin.
- "Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk." - Robert Bloch.
Funny dark humour puns
- The easiest way to know you are ugly is when you are handed the camera every time there is a group photo.
- If you want to stop an argument between deaf people, be fast and switch off the lights. Case ended!
- Its a bitter-sweet end for me as I won the bet after my friend drowned in the lake.
- My boss farted in front of a Jewish client. "A little gas never killed anybody."
- I got a second opinion after I asked my psychiatrist for it after he said I was crazy. He said I was ugly too.
- Only the holocaust beats finding a worm in your apple.
- Having a mind that is considered dirty makes conversations far more interesting.
- You will learn that the only difference between a gun and a rope is the duration one takes to make a knot with either.
- My drinking problem is that I cannot afford it.
- Blow something up when you are in doubt.
The best dark jokes are sometimes not the easiest to understand but they pass the message all the same.
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