Top 50 funny cow puns, jokes, one liners and pick up lines

Top 50 funny cow puns, jokes, one liners and pick up lines

Cow puns and jokes are the ultimate rib crackers applicable in our day to day conversations. This is due to the fact that most individuals can easily relate to cows, their useful products, cute colours, and not forgetting their docile and friendly nature. If you agree with these sentiments, the following top 50 funny collections of cow puns, jokes, one-liners, and cow pick up lines will get you Amoo-sed. Read on!

funny cow puns
Source: UGC

Funny cow puns are easy to grasp and share with your family and friends. They also tend to exist in numerous examples that include: jokes about cows, young calves, and bull puns. When it comes to breaking the ice, most people tend to get into "beef" for using absurd pickup lines. Thanks to funny one liner cow puns, you can easily make a good impression of yourself and be that funny friend that everyone wants to be close to. This article consists of the top 50 funny and creamy cow puns applicable in everyday scenarios. I would suggest that you pour yourself a glass of milk while enjoying these cow jokes.

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Cow puns

  • According to magicians, one of the greatest problems of owning invisible cows is that they are easily herded, but they are invisible.
  • Why did mother cow and father wear bells as they went to work? Because both their horns do not work.
  • Why did the head of secret service order a herd of heifers to be placed around the president and the guest delegates during the terrorist attack? So that they could beef up the security.
  • Have you ever wondered why female domesticated animals kept for milk were given hooves instead of being given feet? It is because they lactose.
  • Have you heard about the mischievous calf that got stuck on a fence wall as it tried to jump it? It was udder destruction!
  • Why did the herd of female domesticated animals kept for milk insist of crossing the road at the same time with the pedestrians? They wanted to get to the udder side.
  • Super Cow’s Speech before going to rescue his fellow old heifers: “The evil farmer has for generations and generations enslaved and milked my people, HOW DAIRY!
  • What device did the old heifer use to count the amount of milk it has provided to the farmers? A Cow-culator.

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funny cow puns
Source: UGC

Cow jokes

Funny cow jokes are effective to both adult and children conversations. Whenever you are taking a road trip back home or on school trips, you can steal the show by dropping different funny cow puns. You could crack a joke while buying beef and milk with a family member or a friend. Go through this amazing list of cow jokes, and I guarantee you to crack some ribs on a daily basis.

  • What did the cow tell the milk packet beside the road? "I am your mother."
  • An underage heifer wonders into a bar, the bartender completely refuses to sell beer to the heifer. She looks the bartender into the eyes and says, "I will go drink in some udder place."
  • Why was the heifer afraid of going through the cattle dip? He was a big cow-Herd.
  • What do you call a cow that falls in a hole? Ho-ley-cow!
  • What name is given to an animal kept for milk that has retired from working? A milked out.
  • The only reason the heifer did not stick on its yard was because it hoped to find greener pastures on the other side.
  • Stockholm is the best destination that any cow can book when going on a summer vacation.
  • Making your heifer hungry will only result in you getting sour milk.
  • The only thing you can get for pampering your cows is sour milk.

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Moo puns

  • It is a beautiful scene whenever I see two romantic cows watching a Moo-vie.
  • Bulls that do not use shaving cream will grow a Moo-stache.
  • Why was Mother cow trying to cheer up baby heifer? Because the baby cow was feeling Moo-dy!
  • What name is given to a group of heifers that play in the orchestra and sing in the quire? They are called Moo-sicians.
  • Cows probably go on the first date to dance to the Moo-sic.
  • When you visit the local cow museum, you will see the beautifully painted Moona-lisa painting.
  • I hear that when you go to Alaska, you will find Eski-moos.
  • An invisible cow has probably mastered the art of camoo-flauge.
  • What name would you give to a cow that is owned and works for a gardener? A lawn mooo-er.
  • A heifer that produces good milk should be paid in Moo-ney.
  • What do you call an animal kept for milk that has been featured in most Hollywood movies? A Moovie-star.
  • What is the best game to play with heifers? Monooploly.
  • The heifer was forced to go to bed early as it was pasture bedtime.
  • No females animals kept for milk will ever be reached as long as the dairy farmers keep milking them.
  • The only way a cow will ever travel to the moon is through the udder space.
  • All the sick cows were diagnosed with hay-fever.
  • For a heifer to play in my team, they must come with a Jersey.

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Cow one liners

These funny one liner cow puns will add points to your witty conversations. Just like the name “cow one liners” suggests, these cow pun jokes have a straight to the point funny answer or description. They are short and precise making your conversation easy to understand hence no brainer jokes. Instead of thinking for hours on how to come up with funny cow joke, the below listed one liner cow jokes are short making it easy to remember.

  • What do you call a herd of sleeping bulls? Bulldozers.
  • What happens when you try to explain a mathematical equation to a female domesticated animal kept for milk? It simply goes through one year and comes out of the udder!
  • Why did the cows get the Nobel award instead of other animals? It is because the cows are great experts in their field.
  • What did the boxing heifer say to the others when they were in the boxing ring? “..So, we meet again!”
  • Where did the NASA heifers go to land after reaching the moon? I bet it’s the Milky way.
  • What type of milk is produced by a heifer that has just experienced an earthquake? Milkshake.

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cow puns
Image: (modified by the author)
Source: UGC
  • What name is given to animals kept for milk that possess a perfect sense of humour? They are called the laughing stock.
  • Why did the bulls bet for the football game that ended yesterday? Probably the betting stakes were high.
  • I saw a group of heifers been taken to the hospital after having a serious fight. What was the matter? They have had beef for a long time.
  • What sound did the cows hear when the air force dropped the boom on the farm? Cow-boom!
  • An Arab standing next to a cow is probably a Milk Sheikh.
  • What style did the calf tell the barber he wants? The Cowlick!

Cow pick up lines

Lastly, when it comes to starting conversations with people of different genders, most individuals tend to find it difficult. Instead of taking the bull by its horns, below are some funny cow puns that can help you to slide in their DM (direct message) in no time. It merely involves fitting cow play on words to make them funnier and interesting:

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  • Do you take a milk bath every day? Your skin is so soft and smooth.
  • Holy cow! Every time I see you walking towards my direct I get a-moosed.
  • I love how your cowboy boots look on you, they really a-moose me.
  • Every time you move on the dance floor, it’s amazing. It always puts me in a loving moooo-od.

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